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  #1  
Old 05-23-2010
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Doesn't sound like anyone I would want to get involved with, quite frankly.
"Admirer"? More like "abuser".

Powerplay and pleasing a lover is one thing...simply being used and not appreciated (much less respected) is another.
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  #2  
Old 05-23-2010
aw9725
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This has been bothering me now for two days… I have found it interesting to read what others have had to say. My problem with situations like this is that they don’t seem like a “shared” power exchange between two consenting partners. I guess that’s why I don’t understand or like most types of “bondage/torture” porn either. It looks like someone is being hurt for someone else’s pleasure.

My ex and I were pretty “vanilla.” Whenever we tried anything “kinky” we usually ended up giggling or laughing over it so much the “mood” was ruined! All of my partners have been pretty “vanilla” for that matter. My only “risky” behavior is driving too fast!

Of course there is the amount of trust and control involved as well. I have seen “domination” scenes between obviously happy and consenting couples that made it look like fun. On the other hand, much of what I’ve seen on the Internet looks like it focuses primarily on the degradation, punishment, and humiliation of women. I am afraid that this type of pornography may contribute to violence and I am especially concerned about it in the Trans community--there is already enough of a problem without making it worse.

An example of something that seemed OK to me: there is a very erotic photo set featuring Suzanny Petrovick where she and her partner are dressed like Pirates. Her hands are lightly tied in front of her and the scene progresses naturally. With both partners giving and receiving. Very sexy! And I have seen similar types of photo shoots elsewhere.

On the other hand I saw a brief clip on the Internet where a middle-aged man ordered a young woman to strip and then chained her up and slapped her around. My reaction was such that I would have liked to have turned this into a “snuff” movie with him as the “star.” (Sorry couldn’t help it… ) Perhaps this was a loving couple engaged in a consensual “power exchange” but it sure didn’t look like it to me. More like some old pervert’s sick fantasy! By contrast, there is a well known site run by a couple who are really into bondage and have posted tons of photos--some is it is quite “extreme” but I get the feeling they both enjoy it and know what they are doing. I’m OK with that. I feel similarly about Mandy's work as well.

Fantasies can be fun and unlimited--because they are fantasies. It’s when we cross over to reality that we need to exercise caution and know exactly who we are playing with. There are a lot of bad people out there--I’m sure I don’t have to remind the members of our community of that. It’s just that the issue of violence towards transsexuals is a real and important one.

I guess I would be OK with this if Anna said “my boyfriend and I decided to try…” or something like that. You just don’t know about strangers. People like John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and the "BTK" Killer all bet on that.

Sorry for such a long post!

Dr. A

Last edited by aw9725; 05-23-2010 at 06:14 PM.
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Old 05-23-2010
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I should clarify my stance. I'm NOT very vanilla and I like bondage and BDSM type stuff. I can understand powerplay.

And if this sort of thing turns you on Anna, then maybe you're not as bothered by it as I am.

But to me, this guy is not engaging you in a deliberate, consensual powerplay. He is engaging in a one-sided powerplay...And not because you necessarily like the feeling of being degraded or ordered around. He's engaging in it because he harbors homophobic sentiments and other issues. To me, the whole thing reeks of instability, and I wouldn't be surprised if this guy was prone to violence after the fact.
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Old 05-24-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GRH View Post
I should clarify my stance. I'm NOT very vanilla and I like bondage and BDSM type stuff. I can understand powerplay.

And if this sort of thing turns you on Anna, then maybe you're not as bothered by it as I am.

But to me, this guy is not engaging you in a deliberate, consensual powerplay. He is engaging in a one-sided powerplay...And not because you necessarily like the feeling of being degraded or ordered around. He's engaging in it because he harbors homophobic sentiments and other issues. To me, the whole thing reeks of instability, and I wouldn't be surprised if this guy was prone to violence after the fact.
That's pretty much what I was trying to get at in my post above - except you put it much better
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Old 06-05-2010
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all this handling of tgirls with cottonclothed hands wont make tgirls treated like girls. affirmative action just keeps things as it is you know. if a girl can be treated in a degrading way cause she is like x, y or z... and cause she wears a, b or c. and if a girl likes to get pissed in the face cause she has a birthmark beneath her ear, and likes to get spanked on the nose cause she was abused by a wolf when she was 19, then yes, let tgirls be treated with the same respect/disrespect or they will be treated like some alien-class humans with special treatment (good and bad).

some bs from me
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Old 06-05-2010
aw9725
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There have been a greater number of disrespectful posts lately--many that ungender transwomen. It’s hard to respond to some of these posts because they are so poorly written--and you don’t know who you are talking to--it could be a 12 year old, an inmate serving a life sentence, a 75 year old grandmother, or President Obama. That is part of the problem with discussion forums--anyone can post anything under the cloak of anonymity. Unlike real life where ideas have consequences.

I wonder how far in the real world some of the members here would get with anyone while displaying the attitudes towards women that they show here? I personally don’t know any women who want to be degraded, humiliated, or abused.

As for transwomen being “real women.” They are. What is it that you don’t “get” about that? It’s quite simple actually. I suggest if you are serious about learning more, you read some of the posts from transwomen on this forum and do a little research on the Internet. What you see in pornography is a fantasy. If you think that all women really want to be “dominated” or “humiliated” or “abused” then I suggest you get some professional counseling--now. Before you have bigger problems.

Last edited by aw9725; 06-05-2010 at 11:35 AM.
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Old 06-05-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aw9725 View Post
... Unlike real life where ideas have consequences. ... If you think that all women really want to be ?dominated? or ?humiliated? or ?abused? then I suggest you get some professional counseling--now. Before you have bigger problems.
I wish that the OP was the only one who might have "bigger problems." I'm afraid it is women who are most at risk.
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