a diffent kind of 'admirer'

While something like that does sound sexy - at least the submission aspect does anyway - I'm sure you've met enough people to be able to judge when somebody is a bit dodgy or not. The fact that you're posting about it on here suggests to me you've got doubts.

My main worry about somebody like that would be if he was likely to get weird afterwards. Everything will be fine just as long as he can pretend that you're not a T-gurl while you're sucking his cock - watching straight porn is a dead giveaway - but once he's cum he might feel a bit differently about it...

[franalexes]

Anna,
This guy needs a rolling fuck in an electric pencil sharpener!
A lot of guys out there have their asshole just above their neck.

[Mel Asher]

Originally Posted by franalexes

Anna,
This guy needs a rolling fuck in an electric pencil sharpener!
A lot of guys out there have their asshole just above their neck.

I agree. Unless he's interested in you getting something out of it, then don't bother. Tell him to shake hands with Number One. You have to be pretty to insensitive to accept a one-sided trade like that, and you don't come across like that to me at all.

Make kissing prerequisite, and you'll know where you stand with this guy. I think he'll head for the door !

Cheers

[Hourglass]

Doesn't sound like anyone I would want to get involved with, quite frankly.
"Admirer"? More like "abuser".

Powerplay and pleasing a lover is one thing...simply being used and not appreciated (much less respected) is another.

This has been bothering me now for two days… I have found it interesting to read what others have had to say. My problem with situations like this is that they don’t seem like a “shared” power exchange between two consenting partners. I guess that’s why I don’t understand or like most types of “bondage/torture” porn either. It looks like someone is being hurt for someone else’s pleasure.

My ex and I were pretty “vanilla.” Whenever we tried anything “kinky” we usually ended up giggling or laughing over it so much the “mood” was ruined! All of my partners have been pretty “vanilla” for that matter. My only “risky” behavior is driving too fast!

Of course there is the amount of trust and control involved as well. I have seen “domination” scenes between obviously happy and consenting couples that made it look like fun. On the other hand, much of what I’ve seen on the Internet looks like it focuses primarily on the degradation, punishment, and humiliation of women. I am afraid that this type of pornography may contribute to violence and I am especially concerned about it in the Trans community--there is already enough of a problem without making it worse.

An example of something that seemed OK to me: there is a very erotic photo set featuring Suzanny Petrovick where she and her partner are dressed like Pirates. Her hands are lightly tied in front of her and the scene progresses naturally. With both partners giving and receiving. Very sexy! And I have seen similar types of photo shoots elsewhere.

On the other hand I saw a brief clip on the Internet where a middle-aged man ordered a young woman to strip and then chained her up and slapped her around. My reaction was such that I would have liked to have turned this into a “snuff” movie with him as the “star.” (Sorry couldn’t help it… ) Perhaps this was a loving couple engaged in a consensual “power exchange” but it sure didn’t look like it to me. More like some old pervert’s sick fantasy! By contrast, there is a well known site run by a couple who are really into bondage and have posted tons of photos--some is it is quite “extreme” but I get the feeling they both enjoy it and know what they are doing. I’m OK with that. I feel similarly about Mandy's work as well.

Fantasies can be fun and unlimited--because they are fantasies. It’s when we cross over to reality that we need to exercise caution and know exactly who we are playing with. There are a lot of bad people out there--I’m sure I don’t have to remind the members of our community of that. It’s just that the issue of violence towards transsexuals is a real and important one.

I guess I would be OK with this if Anna said “my boyfriend and I decided to try…” or something like that. You just don’t know about strangers. People like John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and the "BTK" Killer all bet on that.

Sorry for such a long post!

Dr. A

[GRH]

I should clarify my stance. I'm NOT very vanilla and I like bondage and BDSM type stuff. I can understand powerplay.

And if this sort of thing turns you on Anna, then maybe you're not as bothered by it as I am.

But to me, this guy is not engaging you in a deliberate, consensual powerplay. He is engaging in a one-sided powerplay...And not because you necessarily like the feeling of being degraded or ordered around. He's engaging in it because he harbors homophobic sentiments and other issues. To me, the whole thing reeks of instability, and I wouldn't be surprised if this guy was prone to violence after the fact.

Originally Posted by GRH

I should clarify my stance. I'm NOT very vanilla and I like bondage and BDSM type stuff. I can understand powerplay.

And if this sort of thing turns you on Anna, then maybe you're not as bothered by it as I am.

But to me, this guy is not engaging you in a deliberate, consensual powerplay. He is engaging in a one-sided powerplay...And not because you necessarily like the feeling of being degraded or ordered around. He's engaging in it because he harbors homophobic sentiments and other issues. To me, the whole thing reeks of instability, and I wouldn't be surprised if this guy was prone to violence after the fact.

That's pretty much what I was trying to get at in my post above - except you put it much better