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#1
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I don't know where you live but use the internet there are many Transgendered resource centers through out the world and likely near you, they can help you cope and at least are a shoulder to lean on, if not that perhaps professional psychiatric help me be the answer there is no need to deal with it alone
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#2
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Not to give you a trite sounding answer, but I think you could really benefit from some counseling. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with what you've done, but you're obviously having difficulty integrating the experiences with your world view. A counselor might help you work through your feelings of guilt, self-acceptance, etc.
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#3
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don't regret your sexuality!!!
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