What stops/stopped you from getting a TS partner?

[british_boy]

Originally Posted by JodieTs

I just asked my partner:
To have a ts partner,
assuming you can find one....
You need to be as barking mad as they are
[guess who's getting no sex tonight!]
If its more than a fling,
you do have a lot to put up with.
The problem is that you can only really understand them if you have some aspects of ts stuff in yourself
and thats the case, you prob don't want a ts partner
as being ts involves being totally self-centred.

The other thing is that ts's are by definition in a state of change
so the person you are with today
is not the person you will be with tomorrow.

Also a ts is more than a woman with a penis.
And if the penis is the big deal, then the admirer will be more than a little disappointed, when it goes.

Got me thinking.....self centred,,,me?!!!

I think your partner made some very insightful points there!

I think I've been very lucky with my partner in as much as she's generally a jolly and positive girl, and completely lacking in selfishness, mood swings and the other things that transitioning girls get accused of.

In fact, perhaps she's not a a TS in the fullest sense of the word, at least by western standards. Let me explain...

She's been living entirely as a girl for ten years now, is very girly, and is on hormones, but she's quite content with the stage of femininity she's reached and has been for some time. She likes her cock because it gives her pleasure, and she doesn't want surgery because she thinks it's too expensive, and it makes t-girls go crazy! (Her words, not mine!) The only thing she would quite like is a boob job to enhance her hormonal A cups, but it's a 'would like' more than a 'need'.

I wonder if it's a cultural thing. Being poor and Asian, her expectations of life are relatively low, and she doesn't have that sense of entitlement that we often have in the west. She's quite a practical person, and she's happy to make do with the level of change she's attained because she can pass in most situations, it's quite easy to maintain, not too expensive, and she can save up for the future, and help her family... whose love and acceptance is what gives her the most joy in life.

Most of all she's just happy that she's got a decent, suportive family, nice friends, and a nice guy (me). Perhaps the reason I fell for her is because she is so sunny, pleasant, thoughtful, and completely lacking in angst or 'poor me' syndrome.

[JodieTs]

Sweet.
The main thing is being happy inside.
I don't think SRS would make me any happier in myself
Though an orchi & FFS {shortly} will do.
And thats what this is all about...feeling complete.

Some things just feel wrong
though to everyone else its all fine.
My man is pretty cool on wherever I go.
He doesn't feel I need FFS at all
though he understands my drives & supports my choice on that.

[Bionca]

At first I was a little angry with what your fella said, but really to one extent or another it's pretty true. The "self-centered" bit is what got me the most, but that's really part of being strong enough to transition and finding the resources to do so. I could have lied to protect my family, my friend could continue to pretend to save her relationship, I could have donated the money I used for FFS to charity... however..

The thing is, we are called "selfish" lots by people who want to discourage us from transitioning (probably not your bf's case). So "selfish/self-centered" hits me wrong in this context. Since the flip-side of that is all the people who want us to NOT transition are pretty much acting on their own feelings of selfishness in wanting and expecting us to stay the way THEY are comfortable.

Nothing. I have been single again for a little over a year and am really just now getting my own life back together. The longest relationship I have had since my divorce was about three months. I date frequently--I simply haven't met that "special someone." Yet...

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by Bionca

At first I was a little angry with what your fella said, but really to one extent or another it's pretty true. The "self-centered" bit is what got me the most, but that's really part of being strong enough to transition and finding the resources to do so. I could have lied to protect my family, my friend could continue to pretend to save her relationship, I could have donated the money I used for FFS to charity... however..

The thing is, we are called "selfish" lots by people who want to discourage us from transitioning (probably not your bf's case). So "selfish/self-centered" hits me wrong in this context. Since the flip-side of that is all the people who want us to NOT transition are pretty much acting on their own feelings of selfishness in wanting and expecting us to stay the way THEY are comfortable.

Well firstly J. is supportive on all the things & acts as a good sounding board.
J. doesn't want me to have FFS as he thinks I look beautiful as I am.
But as you know its not what others see, but ourselves.
I'm provisionally over to the usa next month for FFS with Dr Z in chicago
& while J. would rather i didn't, he has offered to come over to look after me post op.
One of my best friends who is also like us,
wrote to me about herself, and me
and talked about how alll ts's are selfish, and need to be like that in order to focus on surviving the hurdles.
While she is like that to a big degree & thats not being bitchy ....
I idolise her & have her on a pedestal She transitioned 2 years prior to me
I don't think I'm selfish or self centred at all.
But after I questioned J. on the above comment
he just nodded & smiled.

So I guess its a fair comment.
And yes I totally agree with your closing comment, the resistance I've met from friends & family at every point is just that, though fully understandable.

[kilgoretrout]

I have done it with 4 different shemales, one time with two.

But it is the risk of being found out that gets me most. I have a son that lives with me who would not understand. So I have to schedule adventures when he is out of town or something.

Also, the times I have done it were all pay times. I would rather find someone who I could maybe build a relationship with than a pro, but maybe that is a wrong assumption.

[ImAlittleCurious]

Wow! Some really great responds.

What would be stopping me?
The disappointment I would get from some family members. Especially from my father. And seeing how I already have a family of my own, however, some would react if I came out. Would say or think "I thought so."

I wouldn't just go for any T-Girl. She'll have to look like a, hope this doesn't upset some, like a full on woman. Gorgeous. Petite. I could go on..