To Hell with all of It

[CreativeMind]

Well, for what it's worth, here's my two cents -- and, Bionca, I'm sorry if I overstep any lines since we are discussing your ex (so you obviously must have your own emotions regarding him). But sad to say, this guy really IS a Tool, as SkronkDonkey dubbed him above. In fact, I can think of a lot of worse names I'd like to call him right now. If he really cared for you there's just no way that he should be throwing such a proposition in your face -- in fact, I hate to sound like the old-fashioned guy here, but it speaks volumes to me that he's a married man looking to secure a mistress on the side. And frankly this is all the more lame since he's trying to nudge you along by tugging on certain emotional strings that he's privy to (being your ex).

But what really pisses me off is what he wrote. You said: His last email bluntly stated "Well you know this what you girls dream about. You get to pretend to have a man and don't need to fool anyone into thinking you are a GG."

Where do I start? How about his choice of words and using "You girls" which right off the bat pegs you as an oddity and less than a thinking, feeling woman which you are? Or the arrogance of his sentence "This is what you girls dream about." Gee, maybe I'm wrong, but I thought you dreamed the same thing everyone else dreams -- namely meeting someone who will love you for who you are, who will want to be in a warm and caring relationship. You know, where you can go out and BE a couple...as opposed to being a hidden mistress on the side, all so HE can live the double life HE wants to have, so that HE can have all the sexual freedom and exploration that HE is itching for.

And in the most jaw-dropping moment of all, this guy then has the balls to tell you this is the best offer you'll ever get. It's literally him or nothing, so you should be thankful he's even extending the offer to be a side mistress. On top of which, how exactly is being his side mistress the "best offer you'll ever get" considering you've mentioned to us in other posts that you are already dating another guy right now? Or that at your office, you've had other guys checking you out or showing interest in you? Seems to me you're out and about...you have a job you like...you have your own life now...you're dating someone who is into you...and yet your Ex feels that being his hidden side mistress is an offer you couldn't possibly turn down.

Well, the next time you hear from him, please tell the King from all of your friends here that we're so grateful he's willing to step down from this mighty throne to grant you some of his attention, when he gets an itch in his pants. Seriously, what a douche bag!

Then again, I guess what shocks me as much is that some of your friends would not only accept this... they somehow refuse to see how badly your Ex is actually treating you, in such a debasing way... but that they'd actually consider him a "catch" and YOU are the one being too demanding! Seriously, WTF? So I'm sorry to rag on your friends as well, but based on what you wrote it seems they need to seriously work on their own self-esteem issues too.

In short, you're too good to be treated this way, Bionca.
So I hope you told your Ex to go play in traffic.

[franalexes]

Originally Posted by CreativeMind

, I hate to sound like the old-fashioned guy

Oh really? You ever get back into my neighborhood, look me up.:D

[randolph]

Dear Bionca,
There seems to be a long line of guys that would like to love you. You are intelligent and beautiful yet there is this continuing line of sad events in your life. What gives?

[smc]

Bionca, no one ever achieves happiness by putting their dreams on hold or settling for what someone else tells them is the best they can achieve. You come across as a thoughtful, caring, and strong woman who is facing adversity. Please don't let yourself down by settling for anything less than you deserve.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by randolph

Dear Bionca,
There seems to be a long line of guys that would like to love you. You are intelligent and beautiful yet there is this continuing line of sad events in your life. What gives?

Well... there is a line of guys who THINK they MIGHT want to love a gal like me. Once the novelty wears off and the idea that dating a Trans*woman is a little complicated and tends to mess with one's sexual identity, not to mention the social issues with family and friends when/if they find out.

Then there are guys who aren't exactly honest and make promises they don't intend to keep, or are married or in a relationship and forget to mention that. While not exclusive to Trans*gals, it appears to happen more often to my Trans friends than my bio-girl friends.

[randolph]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Well... there is a line of guys who THINK they MIGHT want to love a gal like me. Once the novelty wears off and the idea that dating a Trans*woman is a little complicated and tends to mess with one's sexual identity, not to mention the social issues with family and friends when/if they find out.

Then there are guys who aren't exactly honest and make promises they don't intend to keep, or are married or in a relationship and forget to mention that. While not exclusive to Trans*gals, it appears to happen more often to my Trans friends than my bio-girl friends.

Dear girl, you seem to be caught between a rock and a hard place, I guess that's the fate of transsexuals. Jen took the extreme way out and I sincerely hope it works for her. Otherwise is there some solution to being trapped in the wrong body? Biology has dwelt a cruel blow to you and society makes it worse. Gays and lesbians seem to have a better chance of having a life. We all support and love you on this forum but I know you need more than that. Please love yourself, eat lots of blueberries and wear sexy clothes.