What kind of disorder do I have?

[cannibal]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Where I think much of the angst you feel stems is the fact that neither men nor women are so neatly boxed. Vulnerability is a strength, and traditionally "feminine" roles require immense will and fortitude. So, while society in many ways feeds images that confirm your ideas, people confound them.

But isn't this division between men and women what makes sex so attractive? The fact that one can see clearly what excites him/her isn't supposed to be a quality? I mean, being female, aren't you attracted by men that match some "boxed" criteria too? Don't you like men that look stronger than you? Yes, you are right, the thought that women might not fit my concepts of femininity are a source of great angst for me. As is the thought that I might not fit my own concept of masculinity.

I understand the power of fragility. Women do have some power over men, simply due to the fact that men love vulnerability (or so I like to believe). So it is correct to say that, if I love vulnerability, I'm vulnerable to someone who possess vulnerability. I don't mind that, because it doesn't change the fact that women are physically more vulnerable and fragile than man, which is what I dig. This is a physical, sex thing.

I am an extreme case, but I'm not so different from most men. Men are notorious for attacking what's physically vulnerable. As a kid I was notorious for pinching, squeezing, tickling weaker kids. It makes me feel powerful to give sensations.

And I dare to say that is why men are so attracted to pre-op transsexuals. Because they have a vulnerable sex organ. A sex organ that is, in that sense, feminine. I'm surprised that it was never mentioned in any why-are-you-attracted-to-transsexuals thread. But that's why I'm attracted to them.