funny joke!

[Dethklok]

"Mom, can I ask you something?"

"Sure! What about?" replied mother.

"Well, I'm already fourteen and.. I think it's just proper that I should own one."

"Own 'one' what?" mother asked suspiciously.

"Could you buy me a push up bra?"

"No."

"But my nipples are already prominent and it catches attention."

"Nope."

"I think it would be just proper at my age..."

"I said no way...!"

"But all of my friends wear.......!"

Johnny! How many times must I tell you that bras are for girls!?"

[Izegrim]

The wife told me to go to the doctors and get some of those tablets that help you get an erection, you should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some slimming pills

[siamgirl]

Here is a corny joke to upset either everyone or nobody.
Apparently it's no longer politically-correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority, so I thought I would try this very old, but definitely Po.Co. one:

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Ghurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Kiwi, a German, a North American, a South American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, an Ethiopian , a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Dane, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Frenchman, a Dutchman, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist, a Jew, a white man, a black man and an Asian went to a night club.....
When the bouncer said...
V
v

"Sorry, I can?t let you in without a Thai."

[spandexm]

A tracker salesman is having a beer with a farmer on the porch when a three legged pig cuddels up next to the farmer.

"What's up with that pig?" The salesman asked. "And the missing leg?"

"This pig is a hero." The farmer says proudly. "Just last month a beam fell on me in the barn and he pulled me out."

"Did he losse his leg doing that?"

"Oh no." The farmer replied. "Last week while plowing a field I passed out from the heat and the pig brought me some water."

"But what about the missing leg?" The salesman demanded.

"Hey Mister you don't eat a hero all at once!" The farmer said.