I give up

[new believer]

Originally Posted by Bionca

That's right done - finished - off the market - no longer looking for Mr ANYTHING.

I had a date this afternoon over lunch. With my work schedule, it was actually a chore for me to be up and ready for a date by noon. I made sure that we were actually clear that by "lunch date" we would NOT be rushing off to McDonalds, but rather meeting for proper food.

We ate at a place of my choosing and we were having a really good time. He was funny and we were making eachother laugh the whole time. His phone rang and he excused himself. When he came back he's grin was gone and he apologized that he would have to go early.

I commented that work calling during lunch sucks. Attempting to reassure him that I understood, and wasn't holding his need to go against him. Then he let it slip.... "Well actually my WIFE ...."

I don't particularly have any investment in anyone elses' relationship. I'm really not pressed if someone has another primary relationship. By the same token, I'm not going to be lied to. When we were talking/chatting he specifically mentioned he was single.

I'm not sure what it is. Since I can't seem to find guys willing to actually show up on a date. Or who actually think a "date" is more involved than meeting me in a hotel room so they can make sure I meet their standards of "passable". Or who aren't involved already. Why is it the only really great guys that I meet are 1000's of miles away??!!?

So, yeah, I'm just done. Time to buy some cats.

I feel bad for you as I would for anyone. But are you sure he was married? Perhaps he was under a different impression of who you said you were. I'm not making excuses for him, but think hard about how your conversations went. What I am trying to express to you is don't give up. Just really be yourself either over the internet,phone or in person.
Sometimes I feel it was a mistake to be married, but then I think It's what we both put into it. Right now I have found something new(transexuals)to fantasize about but that's all I want out of it. Maybe he did to. Meeting face to face probably gave him a case of cold feet and realized he's gone too far. We all have different tastes and sometimes they evolve to something that was not an option before. Don't quit but don't push. Let it happen. Good luck.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by new believer

I feel bad for you as I would for anyone. But are you sure he was married? Perhaps he was under a different impression of who you said you were. I'm not making excuses for him, but think hard about how your conversations went. What I am trying to express to you is don't give up. Just really be yourself either over the internet,phone or in person.
Sometimes I feel it was a mistake to be married, but then I think It's what we both put into it. Right now I have found something new(transexuals)to fantasize about but that's all I want out of it. Maybe he did to. Meeting face to face probably gave him a case of cold feet and realized he's gone too far. We all have different tastes and sometimes they evolve to something that was not an option before. Don't quit but don't push. Let it happen. Good luck.

If he wasn't married, then he lied to me to get out of a date. Either way he is/was a jerk and either way he lied. I really don't have an issue with going out with married guys. My ex an I have a really healthy open relationship, so monogomy is pretty negotiable with me. I do, however, expect a level of honesty and if I don't have that, then no level of relationship is going to work.

If he did get cold feet, and by the number of guys who fail to show up to dates I assume it's pretty darn common. That's not really my issue, honestly. Given the rate at which guys fail to show up on a date, it'd hard not to start to take that personally. I mean I think I'm a pretty swell gal, and I'm not ugly, so it kinda pisses me off.

[lebguy]

I mean I think I'm a pretty swell gal, and I'm not ugly

Sweety you surely are pretty, not only from the outside but also from the inside. Good people are hard to find these days believe me. It's normal to be pissed off and give up and then you gather enough energy to search again for the right person and this keeps goin on till you find that person.