Waiting for my dream girl

[a9127]

This "fake ad" suggested pouring baby oil in her ear...

(Somehow I don't think tying up my partner and pouring oil in her ear sounds very sexy. Kinky maybe... )

[a9127]

Originally Posted by a9127

This "fake ad" suggested pouring baby oil in her ear...

(Somehow I don't think tying up my partner and pouring oil in her ear sounds very sexy. Kinky maybe... )

Well they did say "oiled" didn't they?

(Jamie French )

[a9127]

After coming down hard on Segway’s, I decided to see what other pictures of people using them I could find. One big reason the Segway has done poorly is the expense… In 2001 they sold for about $5,000 USD. That, more than anything else, is probably what kept it from becoming a household “consumer” product. Also in many people’s minds they developed a reputation for “dorkiness.” See the pictures of the “tour group” and the “polo match” in my other post. I doubt pictures like that helped sell many.

But I was completely sold on one after seeing my “future wife” with a Segway.

Hell, I might even trade the Harley in on one. No, just kidding. But she can go riding with me anytime…

[a9127]

What began as a rant against Segway’s and electric scooters has turned out to be a good day for locating “future wives.” You never know where you might meet “the one.”

Her name is Teravena Sugimoto.

[a9127]

There was stiff competition on CNN today between, “assisted living facilities near Zionsville,” “coronavirus masks,” and “Saharan Dust,” but the “fake ad” that grabbed my attention today was this one. The caption read: “She Was A Legendary Actress, Today She Works 9 To 5.”

It didn’t take me very long to recognize Cameron Diaz one of my major “celebrity crushes.” I like most guys, fell in love with her way back in 1994 when she appeared in “The Mask.”

Interestingly after my divorce in 2009, I took a “who is your celebrity match” quiz just for fun on a dating site I had joined.

Guess who turned out to be my match?

Of course anyone could have told you she doesn’t need to work “9 to 5” but here’s what Wikipedia had to say about her success:

“Her accolades include four Golden Globe Award nominations, three Screen Actors Guild Award nominations, and a New York Film Critics Award. In 2013, she was named the highest-paid actress over 40 in Hollywood. As of 2018, the U.S. domestic box office grosses of Diaz's films total over $3 billion USD, with worldwide grosses surpassing $7 billion, making her the fifth highest-grossing U.S. domestic box office actress.”

The last three pics are from “There’s Something About Mary” (wonder what’s up with the hair? ), “Bad Teacher,” and “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle.”

[a9127]

This was a couple years ago. My birthday is August 18. I remember my wife and her friends wanted to “surprise” me. Never realized they’d post it.

[a9127]

Today’s best “clickbait” ad was for a clothing company and featured a very pretty model. I guess they finally figured out what works on me.

Funny, I haven’t been falling for that 87 year old man “Born Before 1985” the “Assisted Living in Zionsville” ads, the “Millennial's Are Learning a New Language” ads, or anything featuring “30 Year Old Boomers.”

Anyway this led to meeting my latest “future wife.” Is this better than Tinder or what?

Her name is Irene Linares.

She said “So Andy, your wife has to work all weekend?”