Waiting for my dream girl

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CNN had a recap of stories from the past week. Placing mannequins around in public places to enforce “social distancing” has become common practice in the “Age of Coronavirus.”

This was me, my wife, and my girlfriend having dinner last night. She’s looking at me saying “Andy. Take off your hat! And don’t jack off in here… Shit. I can’t take you anywhere!”

My wife is looking at her saying “See what I have to deal with? He’s all yours honey…”

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Tyra Scott, future wife.

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Friday afternoon. Time to find a date. My picture keeps bringing them in. “He lives in Zionsville?”

(The last one. I can’t help it if she shares it with her boyfriend. )

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Nicole Ferri.

I once said I would “leave my wife and move to Argentina” to be with Nicole. Actually, moving to Argentina sounds like a good idea right now. Maybe Nicole wouldn’t mind my wife living with us?

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CNN has more "fake ads" today. At least they haven't had any "Born Before 1985" ads featuring 80 year old men in a while. Christ.

Although I did see something today that defined "over 30" as "elderly" regarding coronavirus. WTF???

However they did feature another "future wife."

She's really beautiful. But thought she looked kind of young so I ran the "age test" on her. "26." That will work. I know the thing is highly accurate because I ran a selfie I took earlier when I was working out through it and it said I looked "27."

This particular ad said something about "working from home." I don't know if she's working or not but I know what she's thinking:

"He lives in Zionsville!"

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CNN also had a story on “virtual dating” in the “Age of COVID-19.” Jesus, will they stop already? I’m getting sick just from reading the news. May have to get tested.

Does that mean I can go out with anybody? It’s a nice day today and I’ve thought about getting the Harley out this afternoon.

So who would my “virtual date” be?

I could choose from a lot of “celebrity crushes” but it’d have to be someone who can also ride…

And I’ve always had a thing for “60’s women” anyway.

This is Diane McBain. Born May 18, 1941 (she’s how much older than me?) Diane was very popular in the 50’s and 60’s. I know of her because of this one movie “The Miniskirt Mob” and its connection with motorcycles.

A Triumph! “Nice bike.” Well, that was my second thought…

Wonder where we're going? “Think you can keep up big guy?”

The description said “absolutely gorgeous.”

She guest starred on “Batman.” Adam West is supposed to be 6’2”. Not sure of that. Even if she’s wearing heels. Maybe standing on a box?

My two wives in real life are nurses. So I guess this could work. Fuck yeah!

Her autobiography. Just based on her looks alone, I can’t see how she wasn’t a huge superstar. I know very little about the entertainment industry and how they decide who to promote but Good God!

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This “clickbait” ad appeared on MSNBC today. 90? 90?? 90??? I don’t think so. Jaclyn Smith was one of the three original members of the TV series “Charlie’s Angels” in the 70’s along with Farrah and Kate Jackson. I have seen it in repeats. Of course I have…

Jaclyn is considered by many to be the “most beautiful” of the three and was a popular actress and model during the 80’s. She was born in October 1945, which makes her 74. A far cry from “90.”

But I have an idea. Why don’t they use her instead of that 80 year old man in those “Born Before 1985” ads? Hell, I’d click on them!

(One episode I saw had Kate Jackson driving a Ford Pinto with a phone in the center console. Pretty cool for 1976. Yes they did have car phones back then. But a Pinto? )