Waiting for my dream girl

[a9127]

Another "fake ad." This time from MSNBC. Supposedly the "Women of WalMart."

Why does my "future wife" look like she's shopping at our local Target instead? Check out her shopping cart. I did... after I got past her heels and those legs...

(At least it's not another "Born Before 1985" ad featuring that same old man implying that's what people think of me in my 30's. Good grief! )

[a9127]

When nothing less than a 1985 Cadillac Cimarron will do. These often make the list of “worst cars” of all time. Had an “Inline 4” and manual transmission (in a Cadillac!). Allegedly got 42 MPG. Don’t bet on it… When we lived in Michigan, there was a retired couple who lived next door. She had one of these. Remember watching her struggling to drive it down the street. They finally got rid of it. An attempt by GM to reach down into the “economy” market of the early 80’s that failed.

(I’m sure the blonde on the left is saying to her friend “God that car makes me so hot. Just wanna go for a ride someplace and fuck the driver silly. Whaddya say we ditch these two losers?” )

[a9127]

Another "fake ad" from CNN. Saw it and thought "Shit. It's my wife and my girlfriend..."

(I never knew you could rent a "private jet" around here. We do have a municipal airport not far from where I live. So maybe? )

[a9127]

Yet another "fake ad." But much better than that picture of the "80 year old man" born in 1985.

Stock? No. Whatever it is you'll probably end up losing money... But I am wondering what she's doing tonight?

[a9127]

Of course I wish this had been the scene in downtown Zionsville this morning.

Looks like "Anna" could use a ride.

(Why does it look more like Los Angeles? From Kristen Bell's Instagram.)

[a9127]

Finally, today’s best “fake ad” suggests that I could meet my “future wife.”

In prison?

(Actually, yeah. This wasn’t the same “stock photo” as the one from CNN. It’s a better one. Looks like she’s into “playing games.” Works for me… Maybe she "captures" one of her "guards"? )

[a9127]

Today's CNN headline got my attention:

"Gwyneth Paltrow's Holiday Gift Guide Includes a BDSM Kit"

The article states very "matter of factly" (because you know this is serious stuff...):

"For those not in the know, BDSM stands for bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism." (Me: Never would have guessed! )

"But this Paltrow-approved sexy time will cost you. The kit is listed on the site for $1,350." (Me: Hell, you can do a lot with just belts, neckties, scarves, and rope. )

Maybe Gwyneth should be my "favorite celebrity crush" and not the others?

(I've been trying to get Gwyneth on here for ages. Thanks CNN! )