Waiting for my dream girl

[a9127]

While working out last night they had yet another “infomercial” for “Dr. Ho’s” treatments for pain and tension. I’ve since learned he is not a “real” doctor (surprise). At least not a medical one and I don’t know where his degree was from if any.

One of the featured “treatments” got my attention pretty quickly. A very attractive model was massaging some sort of oil on her legs, especially her upper, inner, thighs. I have played sports for many years and workout regularly—I have never experienced pain there.

But I could understand how, with a partner, or, hell, even alone, it might eventually lead to “reduced tension.”

I have a “doctorate” as well but mine is from Indiana University in Business. Shit, it could still work. I’ll just call myself “Dr. Hoe.” Seems fitting… and make my own infomercials.

Here’s someone that I’d love to have star in my videos. Her name is Paige Hathaway.

[a9127]

Another "fake" clickbait ad from CNN. "Future wife?"

"But I don't know her name!!!"

(Tried "swiping right" didn't work... )

[a9127]

This came up on my computer at work today. “Star Trek” was long before my time. Was trying to think of something dirty…

Instead, all I could come up with was “Live long and prosper.”

(If that was me it wouldn't be my ears that would be upright. )

[a9127]

It was just a speeding ticket. But at my hearing, the Judge ordered me to her private chambers for my “sentencing.” After changing into black leather panties, bra, and 7” stiletto heels, she brandished a rattan cane saying I had been a “bad boy” and needed to be “taught a lesson.” Then she put me on "probation" saying I had to check in every Friday night at "her place."

[a9127]

I forgot that I played in the “good old days” when we sometimes won. Today, “Purdue Pete” and his teammates got beat 35-7 by Penn State.

One of my former students (and a linebacker from our NAIA National Championship team of 2012) follows me on Twitter. He knows a lot about football. More than me...

He had this to say before the game: “Purdue’s offensive line is going to get their '3rd string' quarterback killed today.” Currently the Boilermakers are 1-4. Ohio State is 5-0. They will still beat IU. That’s like a National Championship around here.

(The last picture. I forgot, Mitch Daniels is now Purdue's President. He was Governor of Indiana and Director of the U.S. Office of Management and Budget under Bush. Jischke was President when I was there. Also I'd change the jersey to Women's Volleyball "17." )

[a9127]

OK, since this IS a "Dream Girl" thread, thought you might like these pics of the "Golddusters," Purdue's dance team instead of more "Purdue Pete" (sorry dude...).

[a9127]

Purdue University’s most famous alumni has to be Neil Armstrong, first man to walk on the moon. However, “Purdue Pete” is the “gift that keeps on giving.”

Of course! We are an Engineering school. Let’s 3-D print a bunch of heads! (Note: Technology doesn’t always mean better… Or that you should…)

No comment…

“Get the fuck away from me creep…”

This doesn’t look good… Think I’ll just ask Blake out myself. I like my chances better anyway.

If I found this stuck to my dashboard, I’d toss it out the window and watch it get run over by a semi on I-65.

"Pervert Pete"? Shit. Now I won’t be able to sleep tonight knowing he’s watching me…