I'm always concerned that when people ask "does this mean I'm gay???" there seems to be an unspoken, but nonetheless very implicit air of something "obviously" being wrong with being, or being perceived as "gay". I'd like to think, in this post-Will & Grace world, it would be clear that there's nothing wrong with being gay, but then again, television still won't air a male-male kiss as anything more than a joke, so maybe the fact that there's nothing wrong with being gay isn't as clear as GBLT activists want it to be?
The breakdown, as I see it goes like this:
Most women have vag, but some women have peen (approximately 1 in 250, by Lynn Conway's more liberal estimates --just search "lynn conway trans prevalence" to find her paper on it). A woman with a peen may or may not eventually get a surgically constructed vag, but she's still a woman.
Most men have a peen, but some have a vag (see Lynn Conway's estimates for trans women, and combine with Kate Bournstein's 1994 estimate that approximately 50% of all TS/TG people are on the FTM spectrum, as stated in her book Gender Outlaw). A man with a vag may or may not (and is statistically less likely to) get a surgically-constructed peen, but he's still a man.
If you're a man and you're into women exclusively (or very nearly so), you're heterosexual, regardless of what the women you're attracted to have in their pants. Some people are only into women with certain genitals, and that's OK --having a preference in a partner's genitals is about sexual compatibility more than sexual orientation.
I'm seriously only sexually attracted to people with peen --men and women, but (intriguingly) dependent on the time of the year, I seem to have a preference more for women (with cocks) than men (with cocks), and vice-versa. I've tried sex with women and other trans men, and it's been disasterous -- the "homefield advantage" thing is an urban myth. I've analysed this peculiarity of my sexuality, and it's got nothing to do with personal hang-ups and such. Sometimes people are just into certain body types, and if you're not a jerk about it, then there's nothing wrong with it.
Most of the other trans people I know would say that makes me bi-, and only a handful of said people would still feel compelled to lecture me about it being supposedly "problematic" that I'm only into people with certain genital configurations (but that's where I bring up sexual compatibility as a factor --some people have a very maleable compatibility, others seem to have a more rigid compatibility; and as many have said before me, sex and love are not the same thing --I can love some-one more than life itself, doesn't mean I can be, or should be, sexually attracted to them).
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07-01-2013
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