funny joke!

[dauls]

After Guy Fawkes Night

A teacher in class on Nov 6th asks "I hope you all enjoyed the fireworks last night, what part of the evening did you like best Jane?" Jane replied "The Catherine Wheels and the sprinklers were my favourites." Susan butted in and said, "I liked the big bonfire and when the Guy Fawkes doll was thrown onto it." "Great" the teacher replied, "who else had fun last night?" Little Johnny put up his hand and the teacher pointed to Johnny. "Well Miss I liked it best when we stuck fireworks up a dog's arse and lit them." "Rectum, Johnny, rectum." "Rectum Miss? Fuckin' blew him to pieces!"

[dauls]

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his penis in preparation of sex with his wife.

In attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it, Johnny's father bent over as if to look under the bed.

Little Johnny asked curiously "What ya doin' dad?"

His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed."

To which Little Johnny replied, "What ya gonna do, fuck him?"

[simmo]

A woman visited her plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift.

Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.'

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. 'All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them.'
The doctor looked at her closely and said, 'Those aren't bags, those are your breasts.'

She said, 'Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee.'

[randolph]

Originally Posted by simmo

A woman visited her plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift.

Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.'

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. 'All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them.'
The doctor looked at her closely and said, 'Those aren't bags, those are your breasts.'

She said, 'Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee.'

Very funny!

[The Conquistador]

Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try
bear hunting.

He travelled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and
shot it.

Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned
around to see a big black bear.

The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That was
my cousin. I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul
you to death or we have sex."

After considering briefly, Frank decided to accept the latter
alternative. So the black bear had his way with Frank.

Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered
and vowed revenge.

He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the
black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another
tap on his shoulder.

This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.

The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Frank. That was
my cousin and you've got two choices: Either I maul you to
death or we have "rough sex."

Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate with the
grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had
his way with Frank.

Although he survived, it took several months before Frank
fully recovered.

Now Frank was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska
and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it.

He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a
tap on is shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar
bear standing there.

The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Frank, you
don't come here for the hunting, do you?"