funny joke!

[Jenae LaTorque]

My uncle used to go to a deer hunting camp every fall over in East Texas. The guys would usually pair up and go out for the day. One evening Uncle Emory came in alone with a nice buck across his shoulders. While admiring the buck, one of the other hunters asked "Where's Cletus?" which was the fella who had went out with Emory.

"Oh, Cletus done had a heart attack and is laying up there dead as a doornail along the trail about 3 miles back" replied my Uncle.

"What!! You mean you left him there?" asked the man all excited.

"Well, it was kinda of a close call,"" replied Uncle Emory, "but I figured nobody would bother to steal his carcass."

[Jenae LaTorque]

Legal terminology

A big city corporate lawyer runs a stop sign in a small town in Tennessee, and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.

He thinks that he is smarter than this hick town deputy because he is a lawyer and is certain that he has a better education. He decides to prove This to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense.

Deputy says, "License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What for?"

Deputy says, "Y'all didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Deputy says, "The difference is, y'all have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Deputy says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says, "Do y'all want me to stop or just slow down?"

[randolph]

When a man marries, he gets sixteen wives-four richer, four poorer, four better, four worse.

Alert! Microsoft computer program continues its reign of error.

[johndowe]

Hi there.

Two hydrogen atoms were talking, one sais to the other:

I lost my electron.

Alarmed, the other asks:

Are you sure?

The first atom ansewers:

I'm positive.


JohnDowe.

[johndowe]

Originally Posted by randolph

When a man marries, he gets sixteen wives-four richer, four poorer, four better, four worse.

Alert! Microsoft computer program continues its reign of error.

That's 17 by my count...


JohnDowe.

[randolph]

A customer visiting a house of ill repute in Bangkok referred to the girl who trussed him up as "the Thai that binds"

"Two young women were strolling along Stuart street late one evening. They noticed two young men following them. One said, 'aren't you afraid those men are out after hours?' The other replied, 'I certainly hope so'"

[Jenae LaTorque]

Originally Posted by johndowe

That's 17 by my count...


JohnDowe.

OMG You know what 17 wives means dontcha?














Seventeen Mother - In - Laws

[ila]

Originally Posted by Jenae LaTorque

OMG You know what 17 wives means dontcha?
Seventeen Mother - In - Laws

No, that would mean seventeen mothers-in-law.

[randolph]

Posted: 28-JAN-09
Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL?

A: Sir, we were able to save her!

Posted: 7-NOV-08
Q: What is the ideal weight for a MIL?

A: About 2.3lbs, including the urn.

Posted: 14-MAY-08
The clock fell off the wall. If it was a minute sooner, it would have hit my MIL. That clock was always slow!

Posted: 22-JUL-06
My MIL is banned internationally from playing poker, as she keeps all the chips on her shoulder!

Posted: 13-JUL-06
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my MIL." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"

Posted: 27-JAN-06
I was out shopping the other day when I saw six women beating my MIL up. As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough".

Posted: 19-JUL-05
Q: What do you do if you miss your MIL??

A: RELOAD, AND TRY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: 24-MAR-05
Two men were in a pub. One says to his mate, "My MIL is an angel." His friend replies, "You're lucky. Mine is still alive."

Posted: 11-FEB-05
Q: What do you have when your MIL is covered in concrete up to her shoulders?

A: Too little concrete!

Posted: 21-OCT-04
My FIL was driving down the road and was pulled over by a policeman. Walking up to my FIL's car, the policeman said, "Your wife fell out of the car five miles back." My FIL replied, "Thank God for that, I thought I'd gone deaf!"

Posted: 12-OCT-04
I wouldn't say that my MIL was ugly, but every time she puts on lipstick, it tries to crawl back into the tube.

Posted: 7-MAR-04
Q: How do you stop your MIL from drowning?

A: Take your foot off her head.

Posted: 1-NOV-03
Q: What should you do if you see your Mother-In-Law rolling around in pain on the ground?

A: Shoot her again.

[Jenae LaTorque]

Yah, okie dokie, but one place I checked said the correct plural was DRAGONS !!

[ila]

Originally Posted by Jenae LaTorque

Yah, okie dokie, but one place I checked said the correct plural was DRAGONS !!

In that you would be correct.