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#1
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Hi there.
A jedi was temporarily suspended from the jedi order for excessive use of the Force. JohnDowe. |
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#2
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A man was riding through the desert on his camel. He had been traveling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert, so the man turned to his camel.
When he tried to position himself to have sex with his camel, the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused and started running away again. So, he caught up to it again and go on it again. Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help. The hottest girl said, "If you fix our car we will do anything you want." The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash. When he finished are three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you mister." After thinking for a short while he replied, "Could you hold my camel?"
__________________
"Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible; but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary." R.N. |
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#3
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Hi there.
Find a date on Twitter. Hmmm, a date, from Twitter, wouldn't you expect them to be Twits? Ok, NEVER been to Twitter, may go some day but anyway... JohnDowe. |
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#4
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Hi there.
Doing business is like going to the bathroom, it ain't finished untill the paperwork's done. JohnDowe. |
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#5
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On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a Catholic couple has a
fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heaven's gate waiting for St. Peter to admit them. While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sits waiting for two months and begins to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it and all. "What if it doesn't work out?" they wondered. "Are we stuck together forever?" St. Peter finally returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple. "You can get married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple. "But what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground! "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple. "Come on!" St. Peter exclaims. "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it's going to take me to find a LAWYER?" ![]()
__________________
"Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible; but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary." R.N. |
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#6
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One day in school, the teacher decides to play 20 questions.
So the teacher says "OK kids, I am thinking of something round, and red" Little Suzy pipes up "I know, it's a tomato". "No but you're thinking, it's an apple" replies the teacher. So Little Johnny stands up, places his hand in his pocket and says "I am holding onto something that is round, hard, and has a head on it" "Go to the principals office" says the teacher. "No but you're thinking", say Johnny, "It's a quarter" |
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#7
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The teacher asked her class to come up with a sentence that included religion, sex and royalty.
After some time little Johnny raised his hand. Ok Johnny what have you come up with. Johnny said; Oh my god the duchess is pregnant.
__________________
"Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible; but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary." R.N. |
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