To Hell with all of It

[TheSkronkDonkey]

I don't think Bionca is accusing anyone personally. It's more a "thinking outloud" with great honesty and directness about an issue that deeply affects her, which Bionca has consistently done since I began reading her posts. Chill, guys.

On the other hand, I don't want to be "sucking up" to Bionca. We should all feel indicted here. I do. It is very true, as has been said, that many, many causes go unheard and unchampioned in the world -- and we're ALL guilty of that.

I definitely pledge to educate myself in matters of transsexualism and transgenderism this year. It is time to become more intellectually invested in the subject. Y'know, it's fine to download t-porn, jerk off, draw pictures, write silky prose and whatever else, but I haven't made a concerted effort to understand this complex subject or the millions of people cojoined by it, one way or another.

I am notoriously shiftless when it comes to matters like this. It is time to change.

Bionca, I sense this forum will probably lose you before the year is out. I hope that doesn't come to pass. However, if I were you, and felt as passionately as you, I don't know how much longer I could bear to be here. Sometimes the most frustrated members of a community don't realise how important their presence can be -- and I think yours is very important, indeed.

Again, I think we could all effect a change in ourselves this year. But I don't want to present a whiter than white image of myself. I *am* very timid in most things. I do try to be as honest as possible over the Internet, which is a small start, I suppose. In real life, it is more difficult. I stumble. I fall. Repeatedly.

Y'know, I can't begin to imagine even a scintilla of the pain and agony in the "non-straight" world. Let me tell you, just wearing something as innocuous as a T-shirt with Elvis Presley on the front has copped me my fair of shit, with plenty of negative comments (and leering and jeering), too. I'm not saying I haven't had positive comments, but they have been fewer and farther between. And that's just a friggin' T-shirt. But I find it difficult to cope with that kind of "attention", even though I sometimes push against myself and wear it. I guess I am weak. I lack confidence in my own thoughts and feelings, at least "out there". On the net, it's different -- and I'll say what the hell I want when I want. I need to find a way to carry that mentality over into real life.