Don't try this at home

[Pippa]

Is it ever safe to use a vacuum cleaner to make yourself come?

Well, there I was, just a kid. I'd read the articles in newspapers about how you might get your cock stuck in the tube, or all the skin might get sucked off, and I thought no that can't be true. I put my finger up the tube and all the skin didn't get sucked off it. So, very carefully, I thought, I approached my cock with it. Not carefully enough, though - next thing I know is a thud of pain as my left bollock got sucked in there instead!

Holy shit! No vacuum cleaner in history has ever been turned off so quick.

I abandoned the experiment for that night. And it wasn't just a case of blue balls, more like black 'n' blue.

So kids, don't try this at home.