Overcoming Guilt

[kilgoretrout]

I have an internal conflict that is hard to resolve. I have been with 4 shemales (3 occasions - once with 2) and had a blast the times I did it. I think about that more than MF sex. But I feel guilty about it. It is that guilt that keeps me from pursuing it more often.

I do not know how to overcome that either.

Any of you who had to deal with mixed emotions - complete enjoyment but a sense of guilt as a result - how did you overcome it?

Thanks

[Shini]

I suspect that is a very prevalent expression. Perhaps you should look at your upbringing and environment to understand why you should feel guilt at all.

It seems there are many societies where people are much more relaxed with questions of sexuality - Thailand, Indonesia, Brazil. I suspect that your inferred guilt is due to a more Western upbringing. Like my own. I do have to reflect sometimes how my life would have panned out if I hadn't been brought up with those [negative?] values. At least then we begin to understand the external factors affecting us. Use that if you can.

Ciao e saluut,

Shini

[transjen]

Why feel gulity ? You are who you are and you like who you like, Stop feeling gulity because others say or think it's wrong in the end you'll never please everybody so you just got to please yourself. As long as no one gets hurt and it's legal and both parties are willing then be happy and don't worry just be happy Jennifer

[Vanillas]

I don't know the answer to your question but I do believe that ostensibly helpful replies such as "Relax" or "Why feel Guilty?" are facile and, ultimately, not likely to be of much help. I don't believe guilt per se to be necessarily bad. There are acts and failures to act that are universally accepted as immoral (read inhuman). To feel guilt surrounding one of these is normal, not neurotic. NOT to feel guilty in such situations could be pathological, perhaps even a sign of Sociopathy.

Now, Are adult acts of mutually consensual sex ever immoral and grist for appropriate guilt? In my opinion, No, or at most, rarely. But I'm not the one complaining of guilt. So again, for me - or most anyone - to suggest to you that your feelings of guilt are unworthy is to devalue you. I suggest that at the very least the guilt should be acknowledged and it seems that you are already doing that. You might also want to journal about it or even dialogue with it. Determine what it is trying to tell you. Answer it. In this way you will both tame and personalize it. It loses its power over you and you are then in a position to decide what YOU want to do with it.

[kilgoretrout]

I think most of the guilt comes from the "What would ___ think if they found out?" type of paranoia. I have two kids (24/17) and there is no way I would feel comfortable with them knowing. Then again, if i had a gf who was into anal or bondage or midgets or whatever, I would not let them know that either. So I can attribute part of the guilt to it being something that i have to hide.

On the other hand, i think it runs deeper, but I cannot put my finger on where.

[smc]

Psychologists generally agree that guilt is the state where you experience some sort of conflict at having either done something you believe you shouldn't have done, or having failed to do something you believe you should have done. In the former, the "shouldn't have done" may be related to a moral standard, which can be established at any level from individual to societal. In Western society, particularly in the United States (with its abhorrent Puritan history), morality is all too often associated with matters sexual, as opposed to truly immoral things that are prevalent in U.S. society, such as poverty, the absence of social safety nets, and so on.

In my view, an examination of feelings of guilt about having had sex with a transsexual ought to begin with an assessment of whether the "guilty" party feels that she or he has done something wrong. If the answer is yes, the next step ought to be to assess whether "wrong" is an external imposition that can be ignored (for instance, a church's admonition against premarital sex) or one that the person genuinely believes to be true. If not, the guilt is most likely about violating some arbitrary, and unnecessary, "moral standard" that involves others telling us what we can and cannot enjoy. The guilt may, though, be about violating trust. For instance, having sex with a transsexual may make one feel guilty, but not because it involves a transsexual but because it involves "cheating" on, say, a spouse.

In all of this it is worth keeping the differrences in mind. Freud wrote of guilt as being the result of internal conflicts. Buber wrote of guilt resulting from the harm we do to others. In either case, guilt is a miserable feeling, and one is advised to address it head on, first and foremost by uncovering its roots.

Whatever one does, one should not allow society to dictate that we feel guilty for enjoying any aspect of life, so long as no one gets hurt!

[9yneGuy]

Originally Posted by transjen

Why feel gulity ? You are who you are and you like who you like, Stop feeling gulity because others say or think it's wrong in the end you'll never please everybody so you just got to please yourself. As long as no one gets hurt and it's legal and both parties are willing then be happy and don't worry just be happy Jennifer

It's really not that easy. You can't just stop, if you could than no one would ever have this problem.

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How long have you been into shemales? I was like you at first. But it's been years since I started liking shemales and shemale porn, and after jerking to it so much the guilt went away. But I still feel guilt when I look at gay porn. I enjoy gay porn, but I can never "finish" to it (i.e. cum while looking at it) or else I'll start feeling guilty afterwards. I'm not sure why this is but maybe time will help heal that wound as well.

So yeah, IMO over time you'll lose the guilt and you'll be able to enjoy it to the fullest.

[transjen]

Originally Posted by 9yneGuy

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How long have you been into shemales? I was like you at first. But it's been years since I started liking shemales and shemale porn, and after jerking to it so much the guilt went away. But I still feel guilt when I look at gay porn. I enjoy gay porn, but I can never "finish" to it (i.e. cum while looking at it) or else I'll start feeling guilty afterwards. I'm not sure why this is but maybe time will help heal that wound as well.

So yeah, IMO over time you'll lose the guilt and you'll be able to enjoy it to the fullest.

Well to start with i'm a former she-male i had SRS this Jan so for me it's more kinship the lust persay but i do find many of my sisters very sexy, So my intrest started about ten years ago and it started with i wanted to know how to become one then how to go the next step Jennifer

[merelypink]

just "do it" if you play safe and its somehting you enjoy then do it