PART 3
So after all of my ranting, here's what I finally have to say to you, Bionca -- and I mean this friend to friend.
Be careful...I mean, be as insanely and as incredibly careful as you've EVER been about anything in your entire LIFE...when making this decision. Because once you cross this line, I can promise you this: it is one you can NEVER take back. The end result of this -- much as it might pay a few bills right now -- is going to have ramifications that will last the rest of your life. And not just for you, but those around you and involved in your life as well.
I have met people who have done porn and they will shrug their shoulders and say "Eh, it was a paycheck."
I have met girls who are twenty-somethings who will giggle like little school girls and say "Ooh, I had fun! And isn't that the point of life? To just have fun?"
And I've met thirty and forty-something porn girls who were just sooooo happy I would sit and talk to them at a party or wherever as women, for who they were inside, but who the entire time were knotted up and thinking to themselves, "Please don't let him mention my past. Please let him be a good guy and talking to me because he likes ME. Please don't let him ONLY be talking to me because I did a porn movie and he thinks I'll have sex with him. Please let him be a really nice guy who will just let me go back to being a normal woman again." Truthfully, I'm talking about women who were SO scarred and nervous and inwardly upset that even now...years after the fact...the experience of having done porn almost did make it impossible to talk to them because they were SO self-conscious of it. It truly was like wearing a scarlet letter to them. To the point you could see just by sitting with them that it was literally making them a wreck inside. But hey, I'm sure back in the day they thought the money was good, the attention was nice, and that things were going to turn out much, much differently.
I have known people who did porn, made money, got out, and accepted it. I've known people who did porn and it scarred them forever. The experience altered them, and it forever changed how they deal with themselves and now deal with others. As I said before, I've seen the good, the bad, the happy, the sad, the content, and the tormented.
Bionca, I know you are an INCREDIBLY bright and charming and beautiful lady and you're very open-minded. So to that end, I'm just saying as a concerned friend that this is not a decision you should rush into. Like I said, this is one you can't ever take back.
Hell, even if it is about the money...even if this is about you wanting to cross a line and do professional porn now....then get in touch with me and I'll talk to you privately about visiting Hollywood, where we'll send you out to some of the bigger name and more established production companies. Least then instead of making $1,000 bucks for the quick and now, you can go around to the legitimate production companies and line up work for an extended period (for example a 2 week vacation) and pocket even more cash. I mean, if you're going to DO porn, then I'd rather you did it out here with the bigger and more legitimate companies where you'll get better work, better working conditions, better money, not to mention safe and solid medical checks to ensure your personal safety and well-being. As I said, if you're going to do porn, then at least do it 100% right and with the right companies and professional people -- which means coming west and hitting the infamous Valley.
So, I'm not going to give a thumbs up or thumbs down on this one. For all my ranting it might seem like I was making a judgment one way, but that's not the case. This is a decision only YOU can make because YOU are going to have to live with ALL of the ramifications that will ripple outward from this. This is your life and it's your call entirely. However, like everyone else here, I just want you to make a decision for all of the right reasons and NOT for any "in the moment" quick reasons which could ultimately work themselves out, if only given a bit more time.
Either way, whatever you decide, you're my friend and always will be.
And I'm sure that I speak for everyone here when I say we ALL love you no matter what you decide to do.
