"Real Girls"

[puck]

Originally Posted by smc

The problem with what Puck writes begins with the two words in this sentence that I have highlighted in boldface: "If a guy sees a person with a skirt, nice looks, long hair, he's going to ASSUME that that person is a woman with the appropriate anatomy."

Puck's premise is that the absence of this "appropriate anatomy" is the root of a "deception" -- a word based on an active verb, deceit. And what is the action? It is the willful effort to convince someone to believe that which is not true.

I contend that Puck's entire premise is wrong. Let's make this more concrete and abstract -- and please excuse me, Bionca, for including you in this exercise but since you have posted so eloquently I am hopeful it will be okay. Here goes: Do you, Puck, contend that Bionca (for example) is not truly a woman? Do you contend that when she self-identifies as a woman she is untruthful? If the answer is yes to either of these questions, then I ask what gives Puck (or anyone, for that matter) the right to make that determination for Bionca. Who are any of us to decide for any transgendered person what is the "appropriate anatomy"?

A premise such as Puck's is not only wrong, but it contributes to the violence in a rather insidious (or perhaps not so subtle) way. Not only does it dehumanize the victim (by creating a category that seems other than "normal" -- in this case, missing the "appropriate anatomy"), but it is a rationalization of the violence itself. Since words can be as violent as fists, as a rationalization it becomes a form of the violence.

Until we stop giving any aid and comfort to the attackers of transgendered people, even in the form of explanations such as the one Puck offers, we are complicit. Rationalizing an attacker's behavior -- even if we ourselves would never throw the punch -- must stop!

SMC, There are several problems with your rebuttal. If you just think about ordinary life you will find that we all rely on ASSUMPTIONS rather than reinvent the wheel every time we do something. We assume drivers will stop at red lights. We assume that the can of food we open will be safe to eat. Perhaps a better word would have been trust, for that is what it is. We trust in things in our daily life to be what they have been represented to be, now and in the past. I know, assume can make an ass of you and me, but those cases are sporadic.
I can question whether Bionca is truly a woman, because I have absolutely no idea what it is to be a woman and I doubt that most women would satisfactorily answer that question. What is it to be a man? Hard, authoritative, brutal, etc? We largely identify males by the physical appearance for a start.
Appropriate anatomy--maybe a poor choice of words but here is the point. If I see a man with pants on and shoes I assume he has legs and feet--but of course, at some point I could be wrong--he could be a double amputee, I which case my face would be hanging on the ground is shame for the mistake, but 99.9% of the time, I am going to be right in that assumption.
Yes, apropriate anatomy. If I ask someone to define a woman anatomically, they will point out among other thigs, breasts and vagina which are the visible traits of being a mwoman and female in gender.
Do you assume that every woman you meet is a transgendered person? That would be really awkward for both of you. Like the rest of us, your rely on assumptions about gender every day in order lnot to have to ask everyone you meet to either drop their pants or hike up their skirt.
Yes, words and labels can hurt the same as fists but that is not what my post was about. If I look at two people, one in skirt and blouse, and one in pants and jacket, I MUST make the standard assumption that they are who they outwardly represent. It is up to those individuals to tell me otherwise. Few of us can read minds.

[Bionca]

Puck - seriously what do you believe about Trans* women. What is going on in your mind about women like me?

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by smc

The problem with what Puck writes begins with the two words in this sentence that I have highlighted in boldface: "If a guy sees a person with a skirt, nice looks, long hair, he's going to ASSUME that that person is a woman with the appropriate anatomy."

Puck's premise is that the absence of this "appropriate anatomy" is the root of a "deception" -- a word based on an active verb, deceit. And what is the action? It is the willful effort to convince someone to believe that which is not true.

I contend that Puck's entire premise is wrong. Let's make this more concrete and abstract -- and please excuse me, Bionca, for including you in this exercise but since you have posted so eloquently I am hopeful it will be okay. Here goes: Do you, Puck, contend that Bionca (for example) is not truly a woman? Do you contend that when she self-identifies as a woman she is untruthful? If the answer is yes to either of these questions, then I ask what gives Puck (or anyone, for that matter) the right to make that determination for Bionca. Who are any of us to decide for any transgendered person what is the "appropriate anatomy"?

A premise such as Puck's is not only wrong, but it contributes to the violence in a rather insidious (or perhaps not so subtle) way. Not only does it dehumanize the victim (by creating a category that seems other than "normal" -- in this case, missing the "appropriate anatomy"), but it is a rationalization of the violence itself. Since words can be as violent as fists, as a rationalization it becomes a form of the violence.

Until we stop giving any aid and comfort to the attackers of transgendered people, even in the form of explanations such as the one Puck offers, we are complicit. Rationalizing an attacker's behavior -- even if we ourselves would never throw the punch -- must stop!

SMC - absolutely correct

[smc]

Of course, Puck, each of us makes assumptions, every day. Some, but not all, of these assumptions are relatively harmless. It is hardly analogous to compare the assumption that a can of food one opens is safe with the assumption that a woman with whom one has a first date has a vagina. Why? Because, by your own statement, the latter -- revealed to have a penis -- has practiced the kind of deception that may compel one to react violently towards the alleged deceiver. In the former case, perhaps one will feel compelled to deal with the can violently?

You have missed my point, Puck, and you have compounded the error of your initial argument by implying that because we as humans make assumptions, somehow it can be rationalized if our reaction to an assumption turning out to be false compels us to violence.

Let's take the rest of your argument point by point.

You write: "I can question whether Bionca is truly a woman, because I have absolutely no idea what it is to be a woman and I doubt that most women would satisfactorily answer that question."

How masterfully woven is your sophistry. But the point is that it is for Bionca to determine whether she is a woman, not you. It matters not whether you have an idea, or no idea, of what it means to be a woman (though every man would benefit from some of that knowledge, I am sure). What, then, is the point of this particular argument, other than to score some kind of rhetorical point? I cannot figure it out.

You write: "Appropriate anatomy--maybe a poor choice of words but here is the point. If I see a man with pants on and shoes I assume he has legs and feet--but of course, at some point I could be wrong--he could be a double amputee, I which case my face would be hanging on the ground is shame for the mistake, but 99.9% of the time, I am going to be right in that assumption."

So what?! Because he is wearing prosthetics, has he thus deceived -- and can you thus rationalize that there may be some violence against him? What if he were a blind date? The other person was expecting a man with both his legs, and your example man didn't deliver. What deception! No wonder he gets a beating.

You write: "Yes, appropriate anatomy. If I ask someone to define a woman anatomically, they will point out among other thigs, breasts and vagina which are the visible traits of being a mwoman and female in gender."

But the discussion here is about defining a woman, not a "woman anatomically." Bionca is a woman because she says so, plain and simple. Those who cannot accept that, or even who rationalizes the violent behavior of another who doesn't accept that, ought not to have the words "ladyboy lover" under their forum names.

You write: "Do you assume that every woman you meet is a transgendered person? That would be really awkward for both of you. Like the rest of us, you rely on assumptions about gender every day in order not to have to ask everyone you meet to either drop their pants or hike up their skirt."

Well, this line of argument really takes the cake. First of all, why would anyone need to make the assumption that every woman he or she meets is transgendered or not? But more important, why do you think we would need to count on our assumptions about gender to keep us from having to ask people to show us their genitalia? I don't know about your daily life, but in mine it involves interactions with people, and it is the rare incidence indeed -- outside of the most personal -- that in any of those interactions gender is of even the most minimal consequence. And surely if the assumed man I was doing a work project with turned out to be a woman, I cannot possibly imagine that I would feel so deceived as to rationalize violence -- nor would I think that okay (or even rationalizable) for anyone else.

Finally, you write: "If I look at two people, one in skirt and blouse, and one in pants and jacket, I MUST make the standard assumption that they are who they outwardly represent. It is up to those individuals to tell me otherwise. Few of us can read minds."

My question is why? Why must you make the standard assumption? Why is it so important to you? And why is it up to those individuals to tell you otherwise? If you and Bionca were somehow thrust into a work situation together, does she have some responsbility to tell you anything about her gender? Of course not!

I suggest that you explore why this is so important to you. What are the issues that drive you to be so wrapped up in having your assumptions validated.

Then again, I could be completely off base here. I don't know anything about you, or why this matters so much to you. Are you, perchance, a detective in some gender police department?

[Darha]

Be patient, I say that "real girls" are as they are in her minds, the body does not define anything (focus on your face, for me this say more than if you have a pussy or penis), I hope to find a woman like you and I know that are many who want to share a life, anybody an find the real love. Will be patient for the rest of the world, one day everybody will respects all of you as a "real girls"

thats just sick beating someone even if i wasnt attracted to tgs i know for a fact that if i ended up about to have sex with one then found out i know i would never beat them i just think that people that do that are really insecure and need to open their mind

Jennifer I'm sorry for what happened to you. Any man that hits a women is not a man. Besides you are so beautiful inside and out. I agree this world has a long way to go.
XOXOX respect

[franalexes]

Originally Posted by TracyCoxx

Ok, so it does seem that you distinguish between gals like you, and gals who are not like you. Shall we refer to "real" girls from now on as gals unlike Bionca? Or do you have any other suggestions for terminology we should use when talking about "real" girls with people who don't know Bionca?

Chaulk one up for Tracy.
Bionca, I think the term here is "GOTCHA! " You want a guy(xy) that will treat you as xx but who is not looking for a xx.

[CCC]

Good Golly Miss Molly---after reading this thread I don't know if my opinion would get me a pat on the noggin or a kick in the pants. All I know is the moment a person starts living as a woman full time then I would call her a girl/lady/she/female etc. I have fortuneately met a number of TS's for a better word and have thought of them as ladies every single moment that I have been with them. I also admire them highly for the courage that they have as a whole to have the guts to change thier entire lives and go through all the turmoil of daily living. From what I have seen all TS ladies take more pride in thier appearance than most GG's because they emotionally and physically had to sacrifice --- not just been given it.

OK attack away

[jimnaseum]

Hey, I wrote Bionca TWO loveletters, she COMPLETELY ignored me!!

Bionca Darling, When you pass up all the rejects and retards at your local bar and go home with the hipsters and sex athletes, do you worry that you treated the "unattractive people" unfairly?

SHEMALE, CHIX with DIX, that's all sex drivel. Scientists have determined that consuming 6 alcohol beverages sets back human evolution 10,000 years. Mutts that fuck neighborhood bitches in heat? THAT'S ROMANTIC. Lions that choose a mate for life and raise a family? THAT'S RESPECT. An average guy trying to figure out what to call a dude with tits and stiletto heels? THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

I think that self respect and respect for others might be the determining factor for a better world and better a human being, not so much for transgender issues, but for a nuclear-missiled world where millions of children starve every year, ..... and Bionca Baby, I don't care if you ignore me (now that MandyTgirl is here) ........I just think that transgender issues are more personal than social, I'm prouder of Bionca more for all the good works she's done here than her riveting little breasts, and all Pearls begin as an irritating little piece of sand.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by franalexes

Chaulk one up for Tracy.
Bionca, I think the term here is "GOTCHA! " You want a guy(xy) that will treat you as xx but who is not looking for a xx.

Nope- I'm looking for a guy who can respect me as a human, not an exotic sexual treat. Also, had Tracy actually read the post she quoted, she would have seen a few suggestions for what terms to use when required.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by jimnaseum

Hey, I wrote Bionca TWO loveletters, she COMPLETELY ignored me!!

Bionca Darling, When you pass up all the rejects and retards at your local bar and go home with the hipsters and sex athletes, do you worry that you treated the "unattractive people" unfairly?

SHEMALE, CHIX with DIX, that's all sex drivel. Scientists have determined that consuming 6 alcohol beverages sets back human evolution 10,000 years. Mutts that fuck neighborhood bitches in heat? THAT'S ROMANTIC. Lions that choose a mate for life and raise a family? THAT'S RESPECT. An average guy trying to figure out what to call a dude with tits and stiletto heels? THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

I think that self respect and respect for others might be the determining factor for a better world and better a human being, not so much for transgender issues, but for a nuclear-missiled world where millions of children starve every year, ..... and Bionca Baby, I don't care if you ignore me (now that MandyTgirl is here) ........I just think that transgender issues are more personal than social, I'm prouder of Bionca more for all the good works she's done here than her riveting little breasts, and all Pearls begin as an irritating little piece of sand.

I really don't know what you are getting at.

Trans issues are quite personal... however, they have very real social implications. Try getting a job when your ID says "F" and every other bit of government paperwork says "M". Try dating where the only reference anyone has to a body like yours is porn, and these people seem to believe that in this one case, porn is totally true.

You have no idea what happens when I go out. Here ya go...

I hate going out to bars for two reasons. 1) If I get hit on, it's hard for me to say "no". I know how hard it is to work up the gumption to ask someone out. So, I tend to at least have a conversation with any guy who isn't too pushy or creepy. 2) I absolutely hate telling guys I'm trans. There is never a good time to do it and you always risk as ass-beating doing so.

How I pick guys to date I don't see as any particular mystery. I an attracted to charm, wit, and smiles. I have some body types I tend to go for more than others... you know like normal folks do.

Since shemale is only used in porn and escorting - it would be like going to any woman in a bar and saying "I have always been attracted to whores, and I'd like to take you out". Now what your you expect would be the reaction?

[jimnaseum]

Originally Posted by Bionca

I really don't know what you are getting at.
Since shemale is only used in porn and escorting - it would be like going to any woman in a bar and saying "I have always been attracted to whores, and I'd like to take you out". Now what your you expect would be the reaction?

OH, I get it now, you're talking about the "Dating Arena" OK, sure, that has alot to do with your personal taste and I can't knock you for knowing what you like. That's YOU.

I thought you were talking US and THEM.

There are plenty of nice people who like Kenny Rogers music, but I just can't get too close to them. That's PRINCIPLE.

I'm a man in his fifties, my perfect match is some annoying old BAG!! Just like you are a woman, I am a 20 year old hipster.

There are probably many men in dresses that you would despise, and many men on hormones who are whores. You have become such a spokesperson for this forum, (for me) sometimes I forget and think you are speaking for them.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by jimnaseum

Just like you are a woman, I am a 20 year old hipster.

There are probably many men in dresses that you would despise, and many men on hormones who are whores. You have become such a spokesperson for this forum, (for me) sometimes I forget and think you are speaking for them.

OK, now I get you. You are intent on ungendering. I'm not having this discussion *again* here.

I always only speak for me or from my personal experience. My experience tells me that guys who insist on calling trans women "guy with tits" and "men in dresses" are generally douche bags. I don't like talking to douches, so I avoid it whenever I can.

[shadows]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Nope- I'm looking for a guy who can respect me as a human, not an exotic sexual treat. Also, had Tracy actually read the post she quoted, she would have seen a few suggestions for what terms to use when required.

As I am one of those guys, I know that we are out there(in fact, there are some fellow respectful gentlemen to be found here as well).

[Jenae LaTorque]

[quote=Bionca;119840]

I hate going out to bars for two reasons. 1) If I get hit on, it's hard for me to say "no". I know how hard it is to work up the gumption to ask someone out. So, I tend to at least have a conversation with any guy who isn't too pushy or creepy. 2) I absolutely hate telling guys I'm trans. There is never a good time to do it and you always risk as ass-beating doing so.

While I don't go out in drag, I think I can see where it would be a difficult thing to decide when you are going to "drop the bomb," and the inherent risks when you do. I think I would try to make it a strict policy never to tell a guy face-to-face unless I was damn sure it would be safe to do so. I would insist that any guy looking for a date would have to call me up on my cell phone (not a home phone where my address could be traced) and talk to me first. Then the subject could be broached safely in a non-confrontational way. Many guys who might be upset at first and violent as a result of the disclosure, would then have a chance to "cool down" and may not even get as mad as they would later on, or as they would if confronted while their sex drive is in "high gear."
If you are bar hopping and looking to get laid that night, then obviously that is a differant game. "Looking for Mr Goodbar" has always been a dangerous business for all women. Going with any stranger always has it's risks. All women need to develop rules for the game. Always be cautious of the guy who wants to meet you outside the bar, club, etc... If he doesn't want to be seen leaving with you....there may be a dark reason for it. And in the case of being a transgendered women I think it would be only prudent to always let the guy know as soon as possible before he has too much invested. I think it is kinda comparable to being married to a gigantic insanely jealous man or having AIDS - you owe the potential paramour a warning!

Isn't there some kind of trans - jewelry (pins) that are fairly well known? Are there not known transgender nightclubs or bars where the clientele is pretty savvy as what to expect? For that matter - are there not online dating services who will match you up with the "man of your dreams", the guy who has professed an interest in trans-women.

It just seems to me that there are many options to meet guys, who you know are interested in trans-women, safely without doing the bar scene. I see presenting yourself as a normal women as downright dangerous because you are buckin' the odds. It is a very high percentage of all men who are not going to be happy to find out you have a penis like them. Furthermore, it is very unlikely that you will find a guy who will fall so in love with you that he disregards the "differance." Right or wrong, those are the bald facts of our society and culture.

[Talvenada]

I hate going out to bars for two reasons. 1) If I get hit on, it's hard for me to say "no". I know how hard it is to work up the gumption to ask someone out. So, I tend to at least have a conversation with any guy who isn't too pushy or creepy. 2) I absolutely hate telling guys I'm trans. There is never a good time to do it and you always risk as ass-beating doing so.

BIONCA:

Maybe, a new excuse would suffice: spoken for, lesbian, period, yeast infection, bad break-up.


TAL

[Bionca]

Jenae - If only there was some sort of well known pin or something... We also don't have any trans clubs here, so gay bars are about as good as we get. There is a social club that meets monthly in a local gay bar, but it's pretty much just trans folks with a couple creepy dudes hanging around the bar. So, pretty much I do Internet dating - the messed up part is, THAT'S where the majority of the guys who flake out last minute come from.

Dating isn't easy - even more so if you are trans.

TAL-

I'm not big on lying, and I'm honestly way to nice to blow a guy off. I really feel like I should give them some attention if they mustered up the gumption to strike up a conversation in public. I know I'd be mortified if I had to make the first move. It's a weird place to be:

Growing up as a boy and getting those messages (Boys talk to girls, girls make lame excuse, boy's feelings get hurt) I know what's happening on that end and it is really hard for me to be like those girls my buddies used to crash and burn over. On the other hand, I know it's just easier to say I'm married or something...

[Talvenada]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Jenae - If only there was some sort of well known pin or something... We also don't have any trans clubs here, so gay bars are about as good as we get. There is a social club that meets monthly in a local gay bar, but it's pretty much just trans folks with a couple creepy dudes hanging around the bar. So, pretty much I do Internet dating - the messed up part is, THAT'S where the majority of the guys who flake out last minute come from.

Dating isn't easy - even more so if you are trans.

TAL-

I'm not big on lying, and I'm honestly way to nice to blow a guy off. I really feel like I should give them some attention if they mustered up the gumption to strike up a conversation in public. I know I'd be mortified if I had to make the first move. It's a weird place to be:

Growing up as a boy and getting those messages (Boys talk to girls, girls make lame excuse, boy's feelings get hurt) I know what's happening on that end and it is really hard for me to be like those girls my buddies used to crash and burn over. On the other hand, I know it's just easier to say I'm married or something...

BIONCA:

Some things aren't possible. Like an unavailable man cannot tell a single woman he'd be interested if he were available after she hit on him, because then she'd take it as leading to something else, which is what happens when you try to be nice. Like you with straight guys, it might be safer for you, less complicated, or less confusing. Like I said, some things aren't possible, because most people aren't as empathetic as you are.


TAL

[shadows]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Growing up as a boy and getting those messages (Boys talk to girls, girls make lame excuse, boy's feelings get hurt) I know what's happening on that end and it is really hard for me to be like those girls my buddies used to crash and burn over. On the other hand, I know it's just easier to say I'm married or something...

Being on the receiving end of those crash and burn scenarios, I will agree with you that it hurts. The truth may hurt(if the woman says that she is simply not interested), but a see-through lie hurts even more. Men(or at least some of us) aren't as stupid as the women that do that think.

[Amy]

Wow. All of his makes me glad I could find a lesbian who treats me exactly as I should be. So many men seem to be utter dicks.

I don't believe anybody deserves to be beaten, just because they are sexualy different, I think they do it because you bring out feelings that makes them think their gay, and it angers them, instead of going with their feelings, they become violent. Cowards, maybe not, just not in touch with their feelings, like some of us. This happened to me and I went with it, glad I did.

Originally Posted by jmad

I don't believe anybody deserves to be beaten, just because they are sexualy different, I think they do it because you bring out feelings that makes them think their gay, and it angers them, instead of going with their feelings, they become violent. Cowards, maybe not, just not in touch with their feelings, like some of us. This happened to me and I went with it, glad I did.

Their "feelings" are their problem. Yes they are cowards. Attacking someone because they are "different" is despicable.

One of my main causes is stopping the violence toward the LGBT community. Maybe because I have friends who have suffered. Maybe because I find the idea of someone beating up a person they presumably went home with because they were attracted to--only to turn violent--especially heinous. Maybe because I am capable of doing something about it.

The next time someone "feels" like that, I hope that they will come to see me instead. We'll talk about it...

[JodieTs]

I'm pretty much stealth all the time,
in that I don't shout my trans status anywhere
People see me and see whatever they want to see.
believe whatever they want to believe.

I do date, and quite early on, involves
"That conversation"
It used to really bother me, but now it doesn't.
This following blog post helped me get my head round things.
I now smile, wink, & say I'm a packin'...then tell them 'that stuff'
I just need to stop thinking about writing a written apology for the anatomical layout of my body,to anyone who finds me attractive.
Yep. I really mentally do think that
The following is the most awesome trans-related thing I have ever read.

http://therealkellyshore.info/2009/11/05/my-wish/

Stop Oppression. We can do it if we just be ourselves with out word slinging and violence.
Why is it we transpeople feel we need to talk back to a group of guys that clocked us in public.
Why do we need to escalate it so its another transsexuals? death in vain.
A beautiful individual working her/his way down the path of peace within her/his self.
The peace they will never be allowed over an escalated argument or dating a man or woman under false pretences.
I?ll go more into this topic later.
It?s a minute out of our day that we were name called, but we have 23:59 to keep on our path and the rest of our lives.
I say lets bury our pride and worry about ourselves and safety first.
Too many transsexual deaths? come from escalating the issue of hate.
We think standing up and yelling back at the person/persons emotionally abusing us,
is going to make them change their mind or change what was said that made us so mad.
I can tell you it wont.
I have always believed you can always catch more bees with honey.
When we decide to take part in the word slinging it escalates the hate more.
It gives them the catalyst to make it easier to physically harm us. Who knows if that day it will be a beating or death.
Why play with fire people?


I don?t get why we give these people filled with hate so much power over our lives?
We should worry more about what we think of ourselves and what our loved ones think,
before instigating a mob of haters. So they called us a fag, a man, a freak, a pervert,
or whatever lame attempt they can throw at us let them have it.
In the end we know who we are and what path we are on.
Let the them have their view, if thats what it takes to keep us safe for another day.
We still have our view, they haven?t taken it from us.
The media may strip us as they like, but we know who we are and thats what is important.
Hold dear to things in you life you value and love.
Remember that tomorrow we most likely wont even remember the incident the day before.
This keeps us safe and gives us the time we need to achieve our genders we need to be viewed as, live as, and love as.
Escalating hate with flinging words can result in having our life ripped away from us.
Remember time is precious, life is precious, and lying on a morgue table is not a wish I have for myself.
My wish is to get these men and women that have beat us and murdered us not have the option of a slap on the wrist with a thing called a sanity plea.
That judicial systems finally start seeing these crimes as hate crimes, and giving them the full punishment of the law.
We need to stop giving these people the angle they need to be set free for our deaths.


Lastly with ladies and gentleman that go around tricking men and women on dates.
I beg you to think of your actions before you keep practising this habit.
I realize you need to be treated as your gender, and maybe you think in your head you can?t be treated solely as that gender if they know.
I assure you this isn?t true!
Lets remember our dead.
Lets remember the beautiful teen Gwen Araujo who played with fire and in the end was burnt.
No she did not deserve this, she was a teen girl wanting to do what every teen girl does her age.
It would be great if we had the luxury of living as any other teen girl,
but we as transwomen have limitations we need to understand this and embrace this.
To protect ourselves.
To stop our murders.
Lets stop giving these people filled with so much hate an excuse to dismiss who we are so easily by killing us.
I am sure I?ll get many debaters on this, saying this is cowardly, but dear it?s smart.
Why throw away your life so easily?
Why do you feel the need to give these people who you only knew for that instant so much power on who we are?
This issue goes on a lot with transmen also tricking women,
violence is less in these instances,
but please remember Brandon.
Another young transperson wanting to be viewed as what he was.
A man.
He wanted to fall in love like everyone does, but loving under false pretenses under any admission will never work out.
There are those rare and lucky cases where tricking did turn out good for the transmen and women,
but don?t base these rare chances on fact or your fate.


Lets talk about what we should do.
Lets ignore the people that don?t understand us on the streets,
and put our anger towards getting our voices heard politically,
by openminded supporters, and by each other.
Lets stop hating on one another and focus this energy on getting transwomen and men
jobs, opportunities, and equal rights.
Lets try to figure out a plan to make sex work less of a stigma of what transsexuals are and do.
Let transwomen and men that have the means open businesses and hire other transpeople.
Many are doing this now, lets stick to doing this.
Lets work on helping our weak and making them strong, instead of focusing on the people who would rather see us dead.
Lets donate money to activist groups who are fighting for our rights in Washington, in our counties, and in our cities.
My wish is to become a more unified, caring, and helping community.
Rather than a community that reads one another, because one girl is less transitioned than the next.
My wish is the lover of transwomen and men stand with us to battle discrimination and oppression.
That they will be proud to say I love transsexuals for whatever their reasoning.
My wish is to see less transsexuals having money for sex and more mainstream jobs.
Even if it?s just stripping.
My wish is to bring our sisterhood and brotherhood together instead of transmen being on one side and transwomen on the other.
Lets stop oppression now.
Lets use our voices to uplift, instead of defending all the time.
Most of all lets stop our murders,
thats my wish.

I would love to see trans-couples come forward to talk about their successes.
Their love.
Their normalcy.
To help educate.
I know there are many couples out there but so little come out and talk, all you hear is about escorts.
We need to make a stand with empowerment and education, not with idle words and comebacks.
It leaves us nowhere!
XoXo

Kelly

[enigma1965]

All of of you look great its to bad these things happen I wish there was some thing I could do to help.

[cgeissler]

I remain baffled in the end by any attitude other than respect. It takes courage and LOADS of patience, not to mention the time and money to go through with transition. I just don't understand.

[escierto]

After having read this entire thread, here is the thing I do not understand. What is so fucking difficult about treating everyone with kindness and respect regardless of what they have in their pants or whether you wrongfully believed they had something else in their pants? EVERYONE is fucking entitled to the same kindness and respect regardless of physiology, regardless of gender, regardless of race, regardless of sexual orientation. Human beings, fuck, get with the program!