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  #251  
Old 01-03-2019
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Wow! "Film Fun" looks fun indeed! My favorite is the lady on the lower left- hot!

My parents had an old hardback coffee table book called "Life Goes To The Movies" from Life Magazine. In it were some pictures I really loved of Julie Newmar as Stupefyin Jones from the movie "Lil Abner"
There were also some of Shirley MacLaine that I really enjoyed
Feel free to post! My parents had a similar book called something like "Life Goes to War." Lots of beauties in the style of pinups like the "Film Fun" covers. Many 40's actresses too. Quite a few adorned the noses of WWII bombers and fighter aircraft. The "Memphis Belle" was very tame. Others were quite risque. There are many collections out there. Worth checking out.
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Old 01-11-2019
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Feel free to post! My parents had a similar book called something like "Life Goes to War." Lots of beauties in the style of pinups like the "Film Fun" covers. Many 40's actresses too. Quite a few adorned the noses of WWII bombers and fighter aircraft. The "Memphis Belle" was very tame. Others were quite risque. There are many collections out there. Worth checking out.
I loved that book when I was kid and would sneak it up to my room from time to time

I can't remember all the beautiful actresses in there but I do remember being struck by how gorgeous Elizabeth Taylor was as Cleopatra and would fantasize about being this magnificent queen's young boy-toy
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  #253  
Old 01-11-2019
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Wow! She's pretty!

You know, it seems I've always had a thing for queens.. "Marsha Queen of Diamonds"was perhaps the first lady to ever turn me on. And then there were other queens...like Beverly Sills
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  #254  
Old 01-11-2019
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Aircraft nose art during WWII was quite risque. Even though both the USAAF and RAF issued directives against decorating aircraft they couldn't prevent it and finally decided it was good for morale.

That is Betty Grable ("Million Dollar" legs ) gracing "Sentimental Journey" a Boeing B-17 "Flying Fortress," and of course the famous "Memphis Belle." The site said it was the restored original but there is also a "movie" version that makes the rounds.

Of course our friends and allies in the RAF also got into the act, "Just Jane" is very sexy and nicely adorns this Avro "Lancaster."

But perhaps the most elaborate and "X-Rated" art to adorn any aircraft was "The Dragon And His Tail" a Consolidated B-24 "Liberator" flown by the United States. It survived the war only to be destroyed for scrap. The artwork was restored on another "Liberator" of the same type many years later. I first saw a picture of it in one of my Dad's aviation magazines. It is, needless to say, quite popular over 70 years later at air shows. Wonder why?
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  #255  
Old 01-12-2019
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Pretty cool!

I love retro-glamour as you know, especially when it has a modern twist like these gorgeous ladies from "T-Girl Pin-Ups", Jonelle, Olivia, and Vaniity.
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  #256  
Old 03-14-2019
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I’m sure she’s saying “Don't untie me just yet, asshole…”

“Rule 34” – "If it exists (or not), there’s porn of it." This doesn’t do anything for me. But hey, whatever, it’s all good…

Most “Prometheus's” are large, muscular, and have beards and body hair. This one however… Now if only he had long blonde hair and blue eyes, his oiled body stretched tightly, his cock, encased in a chastity device, straining to rise to its full 7", needing relief…

They way she’s looking at the photographer: “Next time let Andy tie me up. You suck at bondage…”

Definitely me if that was Taylor Swift…

My wife. “Andy, you’ve posted how many pictures of Hayley Williams to the TLB "Divas" thread?”
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  #257  
Old 03-30-2019
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Whatever. But I’m not sure I’d want to be known as “sudden” with women…

General Motors in the late 70’s maybe? So now I know how my mom and dad first met.

This is from 1927! She’s cute. Wondering if she's anyone famous from that era? And that title does get right to the point…

A beautiful blonde going for a swim? And me wishing I could join her? What’s so “abnormal” about that?

“Love Doctor.” Him? Well maybe it’s because he’s so tall, young, and handsome… (or maybe he has a 12” cock).

“Film Fun” from 1934. “A Winning Personality.” Yeah, and also a fantastic body and great legs…
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  #258  
Old 03-30-2019
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Don’t think I could improve on a title like that.

Is the “mystery” how she’s able to survive in the vacuum of space?

Nice shot asshole. Not. My money’s on the guy with the knives…

God. Damn. Fuck. Wow.

She’s thinking “Shit. Did it again... Must learn not to swipe right so soon. But he said he was 6'4" and had abs of steel.”

I hate it when they walk in on me like that when I’m with one of my students.
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  #259  
Old 04-07-2019
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Wow! Great post Andy!

I can't really remember any one movie that got me excited as a kid but I always loved seeing pretty women in costumes. It started with Beverly Sills

"Batman" may have been the first time I got excited by seeing pretty ladies but I also remember seeing Beverly on "Carol Burnett" or the "Muppet Show" and really liking her. Later I found pictures of her in my parents record and magazine collection which quickly found their way under the mattress. Her Thais costume just blew my mind and I couldn't wait to get under the covers at night with such a temptress

My dad found my stash and asked me if I liked seeing Beverly in her underwear. What could I say?
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  #260  
Old 04-07-2019
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Glad you liked it. Thanks. But I discovered that, well, maybe someone else has been reading my posts on TLB.

Last night, after she got off her nursing shift, my wife and I were getting ready for bed and out of nowhere she mentions "Easter" coming up and the "Ten Commandments." We've never really talked about it before--at least not the way I did above...

Maybe for Easter I can talk her into role playing the "Golden Calf Sacrifice" scene or something...

(I was asked if either of the "male" bondage scenarios were hot? In this case no, I mean yeah, but not for me. They are too "masculine." Charlton Heston is also a pretty big guy--like 6'3" or 4", and the other actor is John Derek who was known for his beautiful and much younger wives. Usuala Andress, Linda Evans, and Bo Derek. He should be my role model. )

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  #261  
Old 04-07-2019
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Of course "modern opera" is quite different. These are scenes from a production of "Carmen." All I want to know is do they need a baritone?

(That guy looks like he could use an understudy. All I'm doing is offering my services... )

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  #262  
Old 04-21-2019
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Definitely marriage material…

It’s not my fault. She’s the one who ordered the Calamari…

Do I get a choice as to which comes first?

Admit it, you would have posted this one too…

Damn, that’s big!

It was uncomfortable as hell in that “snake costume” but I’ll have you know it was working.
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  #263  
Old 04-22-2019
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Jesus, nobody's posted anything since I put this up last night (see above). Sorry. It was the "Beheaded and Castrated" one wasn't it?

(I did see however that my "Best. Prom. Date. Ever." and future wife has gotten several views so far. Gotta find out who she is... )

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  #264  
Old 04-24-2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by a9127 View Post
Of course "modern opera" is quite different. These are scenes from a production of "Carmen." All I want to know is do they need a baritone?

(That guy looks like he could use an understudy. All I'm doing is offering my services... )
Wow! How did I miss this post? That's really hot!

I love beautiful opera singers!
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  #265  
Old 04-30-2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boner View Post
Wow! How did I miss this post? That's really hot!

I love beautiful opera singers!
Well, keep them coming.

I had no idea "Carmen" was so sexy. I always thought it was about "bullfighters" or something. We learned "Toreador" in 6th grade music class. Damn.

From Wikipedia:

Quote:
Carmen is an opera in four acts by French composer Georges Bizet. The libretto was written by Henri Meilhac and Ludovic Halévy, based on a novella of the same title by Prosper Mérimée. The opera was first performed by the Opéra-Comique in Paris on 3 March 1875, where its breaking of conventions shocked and scandalized its first audiences.
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  #266  
Old 05-02-2019
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I don't know the whole story of "Carmen" other than she's a beautiful woman

One of my early experiences was seeing these issues of "Opera News" come in the mail when I was a kid. As soon as I was sure my parents would not miss, they found their way under my mattress

The diva on the cover is Hungarian singer Eva Marton. I thought she was just magnificent and would fantasize about her being a naughty baby sitter
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  #267  
Old 05-11-2019
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"Don't worry baby, it happens to every guy once in a while."

I see no problem here...

Yeah I can see that. So it's a date?

No reason. Just a very beautiful girl. From the 20's or 30's.

That's the last time we're using Uber. Fucking creeper.

From 1929. You know the "Ph.D." is the one who actually wrote this. No one else could come up with such "bullshit" without really saying anything at all. That takes "years" of "education" and "training."

Quote:
It is true that each of these types has admitted advantages over the other; but, in my opinion, the Airplane or some other “heavier-than-air” flier is bound to prevail in the long run and, in all probability, will be the type universally used in the future.
"Dr." Andy says: I find it hilarious that we are still taught to write that way. Almost 100 years later. OMG! The phrase "in all probability."
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  #268  
Old 05-12-2019
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Great post! I especially like the top middle one

I remember as kid watching a local TV station this coming on one Saturday afternoon. There was no Frankenstein in the movie but that was okay. There was a werewolf and some vampires. The lady vampire, played by gorgeous actress Aurora De Alba, just blew my mind! Not only was she stunningly beautiful but the movie had a scene where she seduces her victim in what was just about the sexiest thing I had ever seen. Even today I fantasize about being her willing victim!
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  #269  
Old 05-17-2019
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Since this is a “retro” thread I though it might be fun to look back 50 years… To 1969! Today is May 17, 2019. I tried to find things that happened in May for comparison. Does it bring back memories for anyone? Or if you weren’t around yet, what do you think of their world? Would you want to have lived back then?

Me, I’d really like the women, cars, and music. Some of the other stuff not so much. Computers and early “technology” would have sucked compared to now for example. No “smartphones.” No "wi-fi." No "Starbucks." No "Amazon." And no "4K Ultra HD" TV's. And I’m not into drugs.

Joni Mitchell Although I’m from a totally different musical era, she is a legend. Have (older) friends that have met her. And I think she’s really cute as well.

Marlo Thomas Very popular show of the time. But I have never seen it, not even in repeats. I can see there’s a reason they called it “That Girl.” However, my favorite “celeb crush” from the 60’s is Sharon Tate . I think she’s one of the most beautiful women that has ever lived. I’d rank her right up there with my current favorites. And from all accounts I’ve read, a sweet person. We all know what happened that night. Wish I could have been there to stop it. But you already knew that. Have been working on a tribute to her that I’ll post later this summer in the “Divas” thread.

You mean I could’ve seen Led Zeppelin on this night (as an "added attraction" WTF?) for $2.50 USD. In Ohio? That's just a short drive from here. Awesome!

Of course I would have taken my date to see Led Zeppelin in this. A ’69 Chevelle SS 396. Dark green just like my uncle’s. This is pretty much the same car I learned to drive a “stick” in and took Stephanie for a ride in. His is not in as good of shape as this one but it’s mine one day.

Apollo 10. The “dress rehearsal” for the moon landing in July. They separated from the command module and descended to within 50,000 feet of the moon’s surface. The “moon lander” was called “Snoopy” after the dog. The launch date was May 18, 1969.

Nixon was President from 1969 until he resigned in 1974. The United States was deeply involved in the Vietnam War in 1969. This is a clip of Nixon from May 14 addressing the nation. There’s also a clip of Nixon on “Laugh In” saying “Sock It To Me” (a phrase of the time, sort of like “groovy”). Go find it on YouTube.
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  #270  
Old 05-26-2019
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She’s really cute. Very short swimsuit for whatever year this is. Did a search and turned up empty handed. Anyone that good looking would have been a movie star or something. Wonder if it’s fake?

Assholes! Why the hell are you shooting at the polar bears? Fuck. That looks like ila taking his revenge. I’m with ila and his friends on this one. Go get ‘em!

Looks like he’s putting out his cigarette on her ass. And a nice ass it is too.

Miley, Hayley, Dove, and Taylor. Who else? The shocked look on my face is because my wife just walked in on us.

“I know he’s too old for me and not much to look at Daddy but he can stay hard longer than any other guy I’ve dated.”

From 1925. “For Artists and Art Students.” Riiiiight. By the way, excuse me for a minute while I go study...
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  #271  
Old 06-04-2019
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"Saucy" retro postcards. Looks like 50's through 70's maybe?
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  #272  
Old 06-25-2019
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Default My Babysitters, Nancy and Sasha

Just before we moved back to Michigan, my mom and dad went into Manhattan to celebrate something. I don’t remember what it was but they had to get a babysitter for me.

There was one babysitter, Nancy, that I really liked. She was a cheerleader and played volleyball at the local high-school. With me being in first grade, there wasn’t anything that was going to happen between us but still she was really cute. And a young woman. Not like the girls in my class. But also NOT like my mom either.

Nancy was always really nice to me and I think she knew I had a “crush” on her. She used to call me her “boyfriend.” And always let me stay up late and watch TV and stuff. She was tall and blonde, and to a six year old probably looked like a movie star. I was always well behaved for Nancy. One ‘cause I really liked her. Two, she probably could’ve beaten the crap out of me.

Her real boyfriend, Joe, was the Quarterback for the high-school football team. But even at six I was beginning to grow. He must have noticed my athletic ability even then because he often played catch with me. Teaching me about the game. Showing me plays. Explaining what each player did. And telling me what it was really like on the field. He knew how to tackle and block as well and let me practice on him. He always took it easy on me but one time he knocked me down really hard. I got back up and charged at him. He laughed and said “That was pretty good Andy. When you get bigger you’re gonna put someone on their ass. I hope I never have to play against you.”

My parents and I went to his games. He ended up playing for a college in the East. I followed his career as I got older. Of course I also got to see Nancy at all the games so it was awesome. I credit both of them for helping me get started in life. Not just sports. They were great friends and role models for a little kid.

Unfortunately, Nancy was busy this Saturday night… Damn!

My mom and dad didn’t know what to do. They thought I was too young to stay alone. So they told me they would get “Mrs. Woody” (yes, that was really her name ) from next door to babysit me.

“Mrs. Woody” was mean and like 70 years old. She would always yell at us whenever we played baseball or football in our yard. And she hated it when we would ride our bikes and play music.

“No way!” I screamed. “I want Nancy!”

I don’t think my dad liked “Mrs. Woody” either so he said “Honey, can’t you find someone else?”

My mom tried calling around but the only person she could find was “Sasha.” He was also in high-school and was considered “different” by the other kids. I had seen him in a musical once with Nancy. He was very good looking with long hair but more in the way that Nancy was. I had met him before and he seemed like a nice guy. I didn’t like that other kids sometimes made fun of him.

Anyway “Sasha” became my babysitter for that night. He was really cool and we watched movies together. I was amazed that he knew so much. He was really smart too and we talked about all kinds of things. One of the movies was an old black and white horror movie and of course the girl ends up getting captured by the “evil scientist” or whatever and tied up.

Sasha must have noticed that I was really interested in this scene. Also I’m sure he noticed something else too. But no, this story isn’t going there. Besides, really, nothing ever happened.

Afterward he asked me if I liked the movie. I felt I could be open with him for some reason so I told him I really liked the part where the girl was tied up adding that I was glad she was rescued at the end.

It was still a couple hours before my parents were expected home. I asked Sasha if he had ever tied a girl up. He said no but he often wished he could be tied up. Once in rehearsal he got tied up too tightly and they had to find a knife or scissors to free him. It took a while. He said that it was exciting to be helpless and wondered if he would ever escape.

We both laughed. There was a pause. I looked in his eyes. They were really blue. Kind of like Nancy’s. And he was a lot smaller than her boyfriend, Joe.

I don’t know why but suddenly I asked him if I could tie him up. I wasn’t really thinking. Sasha giggled and said “Sure. But you better untie me before your mom and dad get back!”

Gathering rope from our garage, I did my best to tie Sasha to a chair in the kitchen. He pretended to be a “damsel in distress” and struggled and pleaded with me not to “torture” him. It gave me a funny feeling all over (but a good one… ) and my little dick swelled. Kind of like when I saw girls tied up on TV or around Nancy.

We had just gotten started when we heard my dad’s car coming into the driveway. “Oh Shit!” Sasha said without thinking. I knew that was a bad word but already knew all of them anyway so I just giggled.

“Better untie me Andy.”

I quickly untied Sasha and we put the rope away and made sure everything was exactly like it was. We both knew what we did was sort of “naughty” but like I said nothing happened. My mom and dad came in through the garage into the house then up to the living room and saw us watching TV together. I was snuggled up against Sasha.

“Awww… isn’t that cute!” my mom said. “Did you two have a good time?”

“Yeah mom. Sasha was awesome” I said smiling at him.

Later that year my dad was transferred back to Michigan. I never saw any of them again. I think of Nancy and Sasha a lot even today. They would be about 11 or 12 years older than me. I’m glad they were a part of my life. I did follow Nancy’s boyfriend Joe in college. He was pretty good although never played in the NFL. I credit him for teaching me the game. I’ve often wondered if he ever saw me play years later.

(This is a true story. That's old our house in New Jersey. Bergen County. Jen would know where it was. My dad worked in NYC. I've posted this story here because of the early experiences. I’ve changed the names of course. Except for “Mrs. Woody.” I look back on my friendships with “Nancy” and “Sasha” and realize they both played an important role in my development as a person. )

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Old 06-26-2019
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Great story! I enjoyed reading it
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Old 06-28-2019
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Wow! She's hot!

I remember beating off to the original G.L.O.W.
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Old 07-10-2019
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“Bondage” in movies has been a popular theme since, well, forever!

“I want to be a… dentist!”

Everyone wants to be Superman.

My wife and I call this “foreplay.”

She looks pissed because he did a shitty job of tying her up. “Next time let Andy do it.”

Wonder if I can find this on Netflix? Really cute girl, intriguing scenario, (they could've done a better job with the gag) and I couldn’t help but noticing how the left side of her top was pulled down. No censors back then.

Bad bondage. Guy must have tied himself up. Just one rope? And why aren’t her wrists secured? (well, I do have an idea... but could they show that? ) Still, it looks like he might be somewhat “aroused” by this anyway.
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Old 08-01-2019
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“You wish Grandpa… and what’s up with the teddy bear? Fucking pervert.”

From the 70’s maybe? Just needs someone who knows how to tie her up.

The blonde just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t want her to stop!

Yeah. Of course I’d “swipe right” on her.

From the “sleazy” 60’s. Damn! The blonde in the green dress. Now if we can just get rid of the asshole…

Good dog!!! I trained him well…
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Old 08-18-2019
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Today is actually my birthday, so to celebrate I thought I’d choose my “top 5 celebrity crushes” who were popular before I was born. The 60’s and 70’s are well represented, and so is the early 80’s.

They are: Françoise Hardy, Sharon Tate, Farrah, Loni Anderson, and Heather Thomas.

Heather Thomas is a special case. While “Fall Guy” began before I was around, her career lasted well into the 80’s and even early 90’s. In fact, my dad took me to something when I was about 6 or 7 and I got to meet her. Still have the autographed picture (posted somewhere on here) to “Andy.” She was really sweet and spent a lot of time talking with me. Wonder what she’s doing now? I am sure I said something dumb like asked her to marry me. And I think my dad liked meeting her as well. Hell, I don’t blame him.

Have always wondered what my mom thought of it? Guess that’s the reason my dad slept in the garage that night…

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Old 08-30-2019
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Default It’s Been 20 Years?

This post on my WordPress site has been getting a lot of attention lately. Not a "sex" story but more about my own experiences back around the turn of the milennium. Thought some other members might have similar memories and enjoy it:

"It’s Been 20 Years?"

andy9127z.home.blog/2019/08/29/its-been-20-years/
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Old 09-01-2019
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Wow! Very nice!

Seeing how these are kind of "retro" I figured I'd post them here. I don't know if these are real or not but I love the cover illustrations, especially the "BacK Alley Queen"
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Old 09-01-2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boner View Post
Wow! Very nice!

Seeing how these are kind of "retro" I figured I'd post them here. I don't know if these are real or not but I love the cover illustrations, especially the "BacK Alley Queen"
I like them. Think I'm in love with the last one.
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Old 10-07-2019
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Susan Anton. A promising star of the late 70’s. She was a country singer, had a TV variety show, and also starred in the movie “Goldengirl” in 1979. I have seen this movie on TV as a kid.

***Major Crush Alert*** Of course she’s my “type.” I’d say “perfect.” Supposedly 6’2” and trained to be a “super athlete” that would take home the Gold at the 1980 Moscow Olympics (which the USA eventually pulled out of in protest—look it up) she begins to “break down” from the overly rigorous and abusive training regimen and rebels against it or something—I can’t remember. Allegedly her “dad” was a “doctor” and “neo-nazi” (would they even allow this today?).

Looking at her pictures this afternoon, over forty years later, I decided all she really needed was a 6’4” former college football player boyfriend…

Susan was born in 1950 so she was actually 28 or 29. She’s about the same age as my mom in reality. Yes it really was 40 years ago. So what does that make Loni Anderson? Born in 1946.

Who cares!!! Just get me a fucking time machine…

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Old 10-24-2019
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“Watson! What do you mean you ‘came quickly’?”

Baby I’ll blow out the fuse then we’ll have some real fun.

More “bad bondage.” Guess I’ll have to step in once again.

Shit. When he said he liked to cosplay as “Thor” I thought he meant Chris Hemsworth.

“Women want him. Men want to be him.” But for chrissakes get rid of the flippers.

“War Maid of Mars.” Sure, whatever you say. I’ll pick you up at 8.
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Old 11-08-2019
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Sex sells… Alchohol.

Actually my eyes are brown… And my name is not “Smithers.” But we were both so drunk who cared?

I see a bottle of Seagram’s, a very old can of 7UP, my mom’s tennis racket, and legs to die for.

Never heard of “Echo Spring” before but looks like fun. Gotta be early to mid 1970’s. BTW the blonde on the left is mine.

Very early Jose Cuervo tequila ad. 1950’s early 60's? The artwork is beautiful. Wonder if she is anybody famous?

Another sexy tequila ad. Wild? Suggestive? From the 70’s or even 80's maybe? But I bet you will always remember “two fingers.”

This shit’ll kill ya. I think it really has in the past. I’ve only had it once. Very potent. Also a cool green color. If you have a guest who knows how to serve it it’s even better. We did…
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Old 11-18-2019
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This belongs in the “retro” thread because… it’s from 1981! This is Heather Thomas of “The Fall Guy” which ran until 1985 or ‘86. I have only seen the show in repeats but elsewhere on this site I have told the story of how I got to meet her years later as a little kid. I must have been 6 or 7 at the most and went with my dad to something. I still have the autographed picture. I’m sure I was a little shit but I remember her as being really sweet and talking with me. My dad thought she was pretty awesome (of course he did). I would have liked to have had her as my babysitter. But no luck.

Anyway, I think Heather is gorgeous, one of the most beautiful women of all time, and easily ranks with any of my “current” celebrity crushes (as in the ones I “totally have it bad for”). They would include Dove Cameron, Hayley Williams, and Taylor Swift. No kidding… All of whom are younger than me. Hayley and my wife are about the same age.

My biggest "crushes" who were around before I was would include, Heather (of course), Loni Anderson, Farrah, Francoise Hardy, and Sharon Tate. Of these five, the only one younger than my mom and dad would be Heather. I know because I checked. Susan Anton (a few posts above also should be on that list). She is maybe a year younger than my mom. So would I date someone my parent's age? Fuck yes. If I wasn't married of course.

Curiously, I own this poster. I helped a friend’s mom get set up on something called “eBay” which was new at the time (showing my age now…). He was also into “retro” stuff and knew I had met her. So this poster being “rare” (the pink bikini is the “famous” one) he decided to get it for me. I have a lot of sports collectibles and keep it with that stuff. It is rolled up and in perfect condition.

(Just noticed it's signed "Jody." That's because she played stuntwoman Jody Banks on "Fall Guy." That is a very old GMC pickup--the kind with the exploding gas tank I think--this was worse than the infamous "Pinto." They had several "jump trucks" for stunts and then "show" trucks like this one.)
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Old 11-18-2019
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Here's three more of Heather...

"Zapped." Don't know if this was in theatres or straight to video. I do know it was before I was around. She played a cheerleader. First watched this movie at a friend's house not too long after I got to meet her. Ever wonder why I chose to play football at such a young age?

In the movie (a spoof of "Carrie") she also was voted prom queen. Like who would her competition be anyway? Moderators: She's actually 24 or 25. Wish she had gone to my high school.

From "Fall Guy." They go undercover to infiltrate a "biker gang" or something. She was also in a movie about a "high tech" (for back then) motorcycle called "Cyclone." I have seen it but not for a long time. Think it's from the late 80's or early 90's. Don't know if she really can ride. Maybe if it warms up here we could get the Harley out. I don't think my wife would mind...
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Old 11-30-2019
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More “retro” stuff…

Didn’t realize all my “ex’s” had moved in together when they invited me “over for coffee.”

She saved the best part of the sacrificial statue for herself.

“Weird Tales” was published almost 100 years ago. Still has a following today. Wonder why?

“Bad Bondage” strikes again. Just gotta get rid of your hopeless loser boyfriend rolling around on the floor then that creepy “snake guy thing” and we’ll have a great time.

I’ve have had more than a few dates end badly. This is the first time one ever pulled a .45 and climbed out the window.

Yes. He really IS way too old for you Dove. You should date me instead if you wanna go out with an “older guy.”
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Old 12-13-2019
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Sex Sells... At Christmas?

Segrams scores again. Think she might be my friend from the "tennis" ad earlier. I'd spend Christmas with her.

From 1946. Sex sells... "roller bearings"? Kinda looks like some sort of "cock ring" to me.

She's saying "A fucking vacuum cleaner! He got me a fucking vacuum cleaner." Now she'll wait 'till he's asleep then hook it up to his dick.

Look at Santa drooling... He knows she's been a naughty girl. Younger members: That's a phone she's using, not some sort of hair dryer.

Sorry sweetie, this Santa is into "autoerotic asphyxiation." He was watching you as you slept... and slipped. He's still alive. Better cut him down.

Naughty Santa. Ask me if I love my work? Actually that's "Mrs. Claus." Or else Santa will be a dead man.
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Old 12-14-2019
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So my latest “future wife” is… Forty years older than me??? As many of you know I workout in the middle of the night at a gym just down the street. I like it because I get the place to myself and I’m kind of a “night person” anyway. They have several flat screen TV’s that play CNN, ESPN, old TV shows, and “infomercials” constantly. Usually don’t pay any attention.

But last night there was some kind of “Western” on (Unless it’s Clint Eastwood, I typically don’t watch “cowboy” stuff. I’m definitely a “City Boy” anyway. ). Looked like it was from the 50’s or 60’s. Didn’t really care about it except that there was the most totally gorgeous girl. Unlike many actresses of the period, she had a very modern look and I thought she was beautiful. She was wearing a flannel shirt and jeans. Old Levi’s maybe? Definitely Love at first sight.

Very surprised I didn’t know who she was. Thought of all my “retro” favorites and couldn’t come up with a match. Finally they mentioned her character’s name: Maybelle. That was all I needed. Did a search on my phone and discovered it was “The Big Valley” Christmas episode from 1965. The actress’s name was Lynn Loring.

Research was required. Today I learned Lynn had starred on one of the earliest “soap operas” at 7, graduated from high school in 1961, played Efrem Zimbalist Jr.’s daughter on “The FBI” (I have heard of this series), appeared in numerous TV shows and movies (including “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.” and “Journey to the Far Side of the Sun”), and later became a producer, eventually becoming president of MGM/UA Television Productions in the 1980’s.
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Old 12-19-2019
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It’s good to be “007.” In what other movies does the hero get to sleep with so many different women?

There’s been a James Bond film festival on today. Not getting much work done. Just got done watching “Goldfinger” (1964). Bond’s main “love interest” was the infamous “Pussy Galore” (Honor Blackman ) but perhaps the most iconic image from the movie was Shirley Eaton as the girl who is killed by gold paint.

Shirley was born in 1937, in Edgware, Middlesex, England. She is still alive and was featured on the cover of “Life” magazine right after the movie was released. She is without a doubt my favorite of the “Bond Girls.”

(Have never made love to a woman covered in gold paint. Tried to talk my wife into doing this. She went out to our garage and came back with a can of gold spray paint. Shit. That stuff is really hard to get off… Especially from my hair. )
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  #290  
Old 12-23-2019
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Not really “retro.” It’s from 2011. But damn. I finally know what I’m gonna do when I retire. BTW Mrs. Claus looks pissed.

Me in Kindergarten. I’m saying “Fuck yeah! An awesome Santa! I want an ’87 Buick Grand National GNX, a Compaq 386 Deskpro, a .357 Magnum, a case of Jack Daniels, and a subscription to Playboy. Miss Williams, what would you like for Christmas, baby?” The teacher is saying “Andy! Get your hand off my knee. Now.”

Not sexual, but a very cool idea. The beginning of “the 60’s.” Wish I’d thought of a “tech tree” for my office.

From 1928. “Peeping Tom” Santa gets his ass busted.

I’d spend Christmas with Karen. Very pretty. From 1953. Wondered if she was a movie star of the time?

Allegedly one of the “worst movies ever made.” Anyone ever see it?
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  #291  
Old 01-18-2020
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From Russia With Love.
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  #292  
Old 02-01-2020
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The 80’s… What do you remember of it? Reagan? Cocaine? MTV? Heavy Metal? Pac-Man? The Terminator? Aerobics? Spandex? Leg Warmers?

Well the last three are back!!! This is Anjelica Scannura who hosts a show called “22 Minute Workout” on OneTV.

According to the article, Scannura, who also hosts Anjelica’s Dance Workout, has always made fitness a priority. She started dancing professionally at age five, took Irish dancing for years and is part of her family’s flamenco dance ensemble — her mom even appears on her new show. She also won the Belly Dancer of the Universe competition in 2013.

“I wanted to make it modernized and more inclusive of people of all kinds. Those ’80s fitness shows only had one kind of person. And while I really admired the esthetic of that era, the update was much called for.”

“Recently I got injured,” she says. “OK, my injuries started when I was 18 years old, but when you’re that age, you think you’re invincible. Then all of a sudden you’re frickin’ 28 years old and you can’t get up in the morning without everything cracking.” (Me: Just wait a few more years… )

“Throughout the show you see that I’m not living off of green smoothies all friggin’ day. Sometimes I have a bad night, I drink a beer, I have five A&W hamburgers. What are you going to do?”

Sounds like a date.
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  #293  
Old 02-11-2020
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Friday is Valentine's Day!

Here's a few "hate" Valentines from long ago. Didn't know people back then could be so nasty. Telling someone to "hang yourself." Tsk...

I like the "lemon" one. From 1900 supposedly. My "favorite" however is the "Jackass" one. Of course it is.
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  #294  
Old 02-20-2020
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Another thread suggested "all porn should be in English" or words to that effect. Umm... no. Doesn't have to be. Sex has a language all it's own.

As evidence consider the picture in my post above... Here's how I interpret it: I have accepted an opportunity to guest lecture on data analysis at a university in Moscow for a semester. Running late for class, I am "distracted" by the beautiful woman cleaning the floor as she says "Здравствуйте" to me.

She smiles knowingly as I trip over her bucket. My Russian is pretty poor, her English is just as bad.

I think we are "communicating" just fine. I'm sure back at her apartment later that evening everything will take care of itself.

And how do you know she's not trans? I like to imagine that while making out later I discover she has a perfect 7" cock...

(But I would never wear a yellow shirt with brown slacks. And those shoes! )

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Old 03-29-2020
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Default Retro Covers – “Future Wife” Edition

Can ride a motorcycle while shooting at someone with a .45. Marriage material!

She was getting ready for our date then realized she was supposed to meet me downtown.

Looks kind of like Zionsville.

“Dame Tu Cosita!”

The girl is really cute. But what caught my attention is that is a human body in a block of ice. He’s pulling it down as if it were nothing. Some serious strength.

Fuck yes!!! Definitely my “future wife.”
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  #296  
Old 03-31-2020
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He’s saying to her “So, what are you doing next Friday…”

Would go see these guys. Don’t know who they are but great poster.

Wife material? Maybe. Crazy girlfriend for sure…

Educational reading…

She’s saying “Shit… That’s the last fucking time I’m swiping right on somebody!”

And I can get this on Netflix?
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Old 03-31-2020
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This has been a slow day. So here goes. Some longer alternative descriptions for the pics above…

The first one: “Fuck, Andy… Don’t look so surprised. You know I was a Navy Seal. This is nothing…”

The second: We were planning a romantic weekend. And lots of wild sex and bondage. But she forgot when I kissed her goodbye this morning that I had to drive to Chicago to meet a client. Before she tied herself up, she put her soft cock into a surgical steel chastity device with a urethral plug that I designed myself… A very snug fit, this one also has a “ball vice” that uses a ratchet mechanism which tightens ever so slowly if she tries to remove it or plays with herself in any way… And only I have the key. Her cock fully hard is just over 7” and the plug is beginning to drive her wild. It’s only been like 10 minutes and already she needs to cum SO badly… But it won’t be much longer. I should be home tomorrow night. Unless, of course, I have to stay until Saturday

The third: Couldn’t help this one… She’s saying “Andy, you are a lot smaller than I had imagined.”

And finally: “Damn that Andy, he talked me into going to this stupid Dame Tu Cosita Dance Challenge. Fuck. Can’t tell anyone apart in these dumb green alien costumes. Shit, I hope that was him who sucked my cock back there…”

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Old 04-29-2020
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Sex sells… Everything!!!

Don’t know exactly what this ad was for. Flowers? To give to your secretary maybe? But it must be from perhaps the 1940’s given the old dial phone and number (count the digits). I’ve never even seen a number like this before. But she is super hot. Wonder how they allowed this back then? Christ, she could be my great-grandmother.

I see a… bowling ball? Again don’t know what this was about. And frankly don’t care. Think it’s maybe for shoe polish? Never got past my “future wife” (from 60 years ago?) but yeah, sure I’d go bowling with her.

This one is for an Optometrist. Had my “eye exam” recently. My doctor showed me this pic and asked me “what I saw” I replied: “a billion dollars, a new Ferrari, and a 12” cock.” There’s really no other way to explain it actually…

Cigarettes were a big deal until they realized they killed people… During the 50’s and 60’s especially. Shit, even Virginia Slims and “Joe Camel” ads carried on into my own lifetime. There was a real backlash against smoking with people my age. In 1992, we were given “Say NO to Cancer Joe” buttons in school. Still have mine. Will have to post it. She looks like the girl from Thunderball. The look on her face. She is NOT impressed... I hope she’s saying “Fuck off, asshole.”

It took me a while to notice that she was selling stereo speakers. Would love to have something like the largest one hooked up to my computer. I would play "classic" Slayer at full blast. Maybe she could help me set them up? The only problem is my neighbors will call the cops and my wife will file for divorce…

From 1970. Fifty years ago now. Kinda sexist if you ask me. All the women are kneeling and appear submissive. I believe the text that accompanied this said it ran in "Playboy." Wouldn’t work today. Besides, who would wear pants made out of Acrylic? Shit, better not smoke wearing these. You could become "the human torch." “Dynamite” is right.
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Old 05-03-2020
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Very nice!

You know, I used to love these magazines but all it took was me seeing Gia Darling for the first time and- BAM- I never looked at a titty mag again, not after seeing Gia and her sexy friends...
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Old 05-10-2020
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Sex sells… Computers!

Looks like the late 60’s, very early 70’s? I never would have gotten any work done…

Dude! No wonder you are still a virgin at 35 and live with your parents. Christ. Quit playing the goddamn game and fuck her already!

From the looks of the computer, I can tell this is well within my lifetime. The 90’s probably. So my “future wife” is really not that much older than me…

You can tell he wants to fuck her. But she’s thinking “Shit. Bad haircut and he’s probably got a small penis…”

Mom: “Andy! Why is your door locked?” Me: “I’m busy Mom, go away!”

This one is much more recent. They definitely are not practicing “social distancing.”
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