funny joke!

[simmo]

Swine Flu .........

The Big Bad Wolf snarled and said:

"I'll huff ...

and I'll puff ...

and I'll blow your house down!"

And the first little pig said:

"F**k off or I'll sneeze on you!"

[ladyboyadmirer]

Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque. They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care...One has a weak tikka and the other one is in a korma.

During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree. A spokesman for the Birmingham Council said 'We didn't even know they were living up there'.

Asylum seekers in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.

[simmo]

These three little old ladies and their dogs were
sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation,
when a flasher approached from across the park.

The flasher came up to the ladies,
stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.




Marilyn immediately had a stroke.



Then Bev also had a stroke.



But Judy, being older and more feeble,
couldn't reach that far.

[sesame]

Originally Posted by simmo

...
The flasher came up to the ladies,
stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.
Marilyn immediately had a stroke.
Then Bev also had a stroke.
But Judy, being older and more feeble,
couldn't reach that far.

Thats a good one. I had to wait three seconds for the funny detail to sink in. stroke as in... stroking the cock!!

Originally Posted by Jenae

"Fuck or walk," says Smilin' Jimmy.

"Ok, let's fuck," say Sally with an air of resignation. And they did.

Afterwards with a satisfied smile on his face Jimmy asks, "Why did you finally go along, Sally?
"Well," she said, "I was willing to walk 5 miles, and I was willing to walk 10 miles."
"But," she continued, "after dancing all night, and my feet being tired,-----I'll be damned if I'll walk 25 miles...just to keep some sunny beach from catching the clap!"

All the time she was doing him a favour.
Clap: A common venereal disease caused by the bacterium Neisseria gonorrhoeae;

A really cool joke.

[Jenae LaTorque]

At first I didn't see why you felt the need to define "Clap", then I realized that it is a slang term and maybe not used in many parts of the world. I also realized that in the present day, the clap is not so bad when compared to the possibility of AIDS. I guess that kind of dated me there. Ah, the good old days when the worst a fellow had to worry about was catching the clap or syphilis.

[ladyboyadmirer]

Originally Posted by Jenae LaTorque

At first I didn't see why you felt the need to define "Clap", then I realized that it is a slang term and maybe not used in many parts of the world. I also realized that in the present day, the clap is not so bad when compared to the possibility of AIDS. I guess that kind of dated me there. Ah, the good old days when the worst a fellow had to worry about was catching the clap or syphilis.

I've no idea if this is true but I was led to believe that the slang noun 'clap' is from Old French 'clapier' = brothel or whore house, fun house or whatever the local term is. Makes sense, I guess
Rgds

[simmo]

Twelve Irish priests were about to be ordained.

The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Terry.

Poor Terry.

As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Terry quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.


He bent over to pick it up .....then all the other bells started to ring.