10 Simple Rules to Win My Heart...

[CreativeMind]

Originally Posted by bossymax1981

I've been going about it all wrong. I've been searching for a man who will "have me" when I should be looking for the lucky sap who will win me. Yes, I have my faults. Yes, I am a bit nuts. But when it comes right down to it, I'm a nice woman...

Perhaps I watched too many old movies. Maybe I expected too much Cary Grant and ended up with Jim Carrey. I settled in the past when it came to men. I was more interested if they liked me than if I liked them. I had things backwards. Because, despite my faults, I finally have realized that I'm a woman worth having...

For what it's worth, I think these two parts of your post were the MOST important of all. While the other sections talk about what kind of guy you'd like to find, these two address YOUR OWN sense of self-worth and self-being. And I think having a positive state of mind like this, as well as maintaining a strong inner spirit, are what will ultimately lead you to true happiness and finding truer love, Lydel. That's because (in my opinion) any successful relationship that's REALLY going to go the distance should always be based upon two people not just saying they love each other -- after all, words can often just be words -- but instead it should be based on two people actually PROVING it through their daily actions, and thus showing a true sense of commitment towards their partner.

So, you are right to say that you had it backwards. And I think you're right to flip it around and try things in a new and different way. Having a strong sense of pride in yourself and realizing that someone should love you for ALL that you are, inside and out... that they should be willing to fight for YOUR attentions above anyone else's... and they should be willing to PROVE their dedication to you... are all standards you should keep as you go forward. Because love should NEVER be about "settling" for someone, where the implication is that you are lucky to even have someone, so you'd better take whatever you can get. Screw that -- that's a completely defeatist attitude to have, and it's just putting yourself down. Most of all, TRUE love and finding a TRUE partner to build a life with shouldn't be about compromising many of the things you truly believe in or that you hope to have one day.

The bottom line: You DO deserve to have your own dreams and to find true love just like anyone else. Not to settle...not to just accept anything...but to find someone who loves and accepts YOU.

Best of all? That's where the magic kicks in. Because when you do find that person and they truly touch you in so many ways...when they ignite a spark in your heart as well...that's when things will flip around and YOU will be doing your best to prove your intentions TOO. At which point you'll BOTH know it's a real and sincere love -- one based on honest emotions -- because NEITHER of you will be settling. Instead, you'll both be working hard to show your dedication towards the relationship and each other, and towards what you want to build TOGETHER.

So, good for you, Lydel. I think standing up for yourself and declaring that you're not interested in settling anymore...that you now realize deep in your heart that you ARE a good person, and that someone should be happy to have you, for everything that you are inside...is a much healthier way to find true love.

[transjen]

HMMNN sounds like just about every girls wants in a man , But what if you found a guy who meets like 8 out of the ten a guy who doesn't care much for sports or he's a little on the dum side? Some times you need to be a little flexable after all no one is perfect Jennifer

Friends and family may find this a shock...as I do have a never-say-die spirit towards every aspect of life. However, sometimes you need to make sacrifices...you need to give up whatever you had faith in to make other people's lives much easier. Obviously, it depends if other people see how much love you have for them, if people know they love you, they will appreciate every decision you make. They may not agree with it, my best friends do not agree with me giving up "suitors and admirers" but I know they accept and appreciate my decision, hence they are my best friends.

Giving up is not easy, but I am ready for that person. It actually does not help any situation but it does do one thing...reconnecting yourself together. Going back to my decision...I had two choices. One was to try and get what I wanted back or it was to simply give up. Now...I gave up...Why? Why did I give up? Was there a need for me to give up? Yes because it made someone else's life easier. What more happiness can that bring...if someone can live their life much easier, with more freedom of thought, more happier. However, each decision has a consequence. My decision to give up on what I wanted back...had a few consequences.

Those consequences were simple...I give up anything that reminded me of what I wanted back. Yahoo and MSN Messengers...I gave it up! After Love is Complicated...I will not write another full-on romantic novel until I get over my memories. I am still a romantic though! The good news is that you will see me writing on the blog a lot more than before!

I give a lot of things thought. Ever decision I make...there is a consequence. In fact...every decision you make there is consequences attached to it. The fact is...do we ignore the consequences or do we carry them out? I have decided now to practice my consequences but let me just remind you...yes, other people may get hurt by it. There is one important issue, is not many will realize how much it hurts you to practice them or even to give-up on something you love more than, possibly, your own life.