Once again I met the ignorance...

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by racquel

Exactly.

If anybody actually did a study on the sex lives of TS people this would probably be pretty obvious. I'm almost too self-conscious to even have sex, and most of the people trying to hook up with me are awfully creepy.

word!

One bit that seriously gets me is how totally impossible it is to have an organic relationship. Relationships center on being trans* - either BECAUSE of it, or IN SPITE of it. I can't just go out, have chemistry with a guy, and see what comes next.

Personally, I think this whole thing is bound up with gay guy's obsessive fetish of landing a straight guy. Since they want one, we obviously must have gone through this so we could do it more easily.

[racquel]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Personally, I think this whole thing is bound up with gay guy's obsessive fetish of landing a straight guy. Since they want one, we obviously must have gone through this so we could do it more easily.

Well, some of them definitely resent the few straight guys who try to pick us up.

Tranny chasers are often a bit brooding/antisocial/creepy (maybe because they don't fit in at a gay bar because they're just there looking for tgirls) but I've still seen gay guys get a real jealous vibe when a straight guy is hitting on me. They didn't want the T in GLBT in the first place, and now those damn trannies are taking the only masculine guys who go to gay bars!

I've had drag queens try to hit on guys that were hitting on me, then get all pissed off because the guy wasn't interested. Sorry! Maybe he's just not looking for a 200 lb. fag with a feather boa and ridiculous fake eyelashes! And I've even seen gay guys try to pick up tranny chasers by saying how hot they look in drag.

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by racquel

Tranny chasers are often a bit brooding/antisocial/creepy...

Oooh... I hope not...

Well, I actually once had a conversation with a Danish T-girl who truly dreamed of finding a non-tranny chaser straight guy. I guess her "logic" was that bagging such a guy would be constant proof of her "passability" as a "real" woman. To her being a trans-woman was apparently not as good as being a cisgender woman.

On the other hand, the absolute majority of trans-women that I've met over time have more or less unanimously been completely content with their unique gender dispositions - which I, obviously, applaud!

Actually, regarding my initial posting here, what my gay "opponent" seemed to have mixed up in his mind was the use of terms. He was actually referring to certain gay transvestites that will, undoubtedly, dress up to get the guys... but he insisted on them being transsexual which they are ofcourse not.

So be it :-)

H

[racquel]

Originally Posted by hankhavelock

Oooh... I hope not...

So do I.

It's not that I have such low self-esteem that I call everybody who could ever be interested in me a creepy tranny chaser. But there are a lot. Even the ones who seem normal will often say totally inappropriate things that they would never say to a GG. A couple weeks ago a cute military guy was talking to me at a bar. After about about 20 seconds of conversation decided he had to describe in detail how large his cock was and how much trouble I'd have fitting it in my mouth, then five minutes later he seemed confused and hurt that I didn't want to hang out with him on the porch when he went out to smoke...

But I'll certainly give you the benefit of the doubt.

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by racquel

So do I.

It's not that I have such low self-esteem that I call everybody who could ever be interested in me a creepy tranny chaser. But there are a lot. Even the ones who seem normal will often say totally inappropriate things that they would never say to a GG. A couple weeks ago a cute military guy was talking to me at a bar. After about about 20 seconds of conversation decided he had to describe in detail how large his cock was and how much trouble I'd have fitting it in my mouth, then five minutes later he seemed confused and hurt that I didn't want to hang out with him on the porch when he went out to smoke...

But I'll certainly give you the benefit of the doubt.

Well, come on down here and give me the benefit of the doubt in person :-)

I have a fine place, and you're welcome to stay over ;-)

Seriously, I think that aside from the bullshitters a few guys are genuine. But they are horribly insecure. They simply don't know how to handle a gorgeous trans-woman. They may be of their best intentions, but they become weird, inarticulate and stupid because they cannot handle it - especially not in a face to face situation.

Bear with them a little bit - don't judge them too hard, baby. Remember, you live in America (don't you?), the socalled land of "freedom", where religion, politics and normal "ethics" make this thing hard...

So if the guy is just remotely cute and "un-freaky" and not toooooooooo creepy, then give him, too, the benefit of the doubt.

Remember that guys are not as strong as women! Remember that the struggle, that you have been through, is TONS heavier, than what he will ever have to carry...

When I met my first trans-woman she was far from being sarcastic or intimidating... she reeled me in in a good way... she understood that I might have had some doubts (well, I didn't), and she had prepared for that.

Don't expect some idiotic little soldier boy to be man enuff to accept his own attractions. But HELP him to understand them. HELP the poor, hetero-vanilla-bastard to grasp what it is he really needs and wants... help him to love you and help him to remove ALL the guilt... because you're so much further in such matters than he is!

Or better... come here in stead ;-)

H

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by Bionca

One bit that seriously gets me is how totally impossible it is to have an organic relationship. Relationships center on being trans* - either BECAUSE of it, or IN SPITE of it. I can't just go out, have chemistry with a guy, and see what comes next.

I guess that by the sentence "either BECAUSE of it" you refer to guys who're basicly only in it for the sex?

I actually don't think it's impossible at all to have a very organic and absolutely sane relationship. Yes, ofcourse, we've talked about transsexuality - it would be kinda strange if we didn't - and yes, we most likely wouldn't have had a relationship at all, if it weren't for her transsexuality and my obvious attraction to "the third gender". But the relationships have been based on exactly the same aspects that I guess most people's relationships are based on: namely giant boobies, a big ass and comparing dick-sizes... Oh well...

No seriously, her transsexuality is ofcourse not in itself enough to base a relationship on. As being a woman (cisgendered) or a man aren't either. And I do dare postulate that I've had some pretty sane and deep relationships with some pretty sane and deep ladies - of what ever gender, I can even say. The dynamics of a good relationship are not genderrelated, I believe...

Or am I completely wrong here...?

H