Once again I met the ignorance...

If you think gay men are ignorant of Trans women, ask a typical one about Trans men -- hell, ask a lesbian woman about Trans women or Trans men. Of course, I've noticed a slightly higher number of gay men seemingly sympathetic toward Trans men and lesbians sympathetic toward Trans women, but yeah... To a certain extent, the post-Stonewall "assimilation" of GLBT culture has led to the GLB quadrants getting as ignorant as anybody else about the T. It's sort of sad, really.

[Bionca]

Well, as some of us like to write... we belong to the GL(b)....t "community". I have found some of the most supportive people among gay guys and lesbians. I have also found some of the most daft assumptions from within that community.

On one hand the idea that Trans*women are gay guys that couldn't handle being gay, wanted to have an easier time picking up guys, are CD/TVs that want the fantasy full-time is common. It also erases lesbian trans*women and gay trans*men. I can without doubt state (having been someone who ID'd as a gay man) they are totally unrelated. If anything, being a gay guy (even a REALLY sissy one) is better understood and accepted than being trans*. Being trans* has complicated hooking up so much that the idea I did this to get laid is laughable.

If we look at Radical Feminists dogma re: trans* we open up yet another batch of poorly formed theories and assumptions about why we do this. Rather than listen to what trans*folk have to say (or for that matter what the people who date us) we have people using political/social theories telling us that we don't know our own lives and they have all the answers.

I get the anger Hank. My fella's gay brother pulled the same crap a few months ago. Perhaps because the Trans* umbrella is so large and includes both men and women as well as people who dress up for sexual kink or to express their "inner woman/man" confusion is bound to happen. The anger happens when those on the outside try pin their "observations" on my body.

[racquel]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Being trans* has complicated hooking up so much that the idea I did this to get laid is laughable.

Exactly.

If anybody actually did a study on the sex lives of TS people this would probably be pretty obvious. I'm almost too self-conscious to even have sex, and most of the people trying to hook up with me are awfully creepy.

[thequietone1]

I just call you by your name, i dont give a shit what you identify as** nor what your ancestry is. Face value for me every time.





** I dont mean this to be bad, just that I really hate people that pass judgement based on looks or assumptions. If your mostly sane and sincere, you're okay to me.

[franalexes]

I don't think I have ever met a gay guy that has had so much as a hint of what TS really is.
They seem to be too stupid to play it dumb to the ignorance in which they display their mental incompetence and they do that with great ineptitude.

To all of you that have posted before me,,,,

[quickpick]

You would think a gay man would be more understanding of transgendered individuals, that is what you would expect. But it always amazes me that they feel that TG individuals are just someone who is "confused". This is the response that I got from one gay guy. I guess there are some people who are just ignorant. Some by choice and maybe some by fear. I'm not sure what is their reason. But it applies to any ignorant thinking in this world. What's worse is that they don't care to even care to consider any alternative view. But that's why it is important to surround yourself by your supporters but at the same time not to shy away from voicing your opinion.

[sesame]

Hanky,
I've been through the frustration that comes when you waste all your energy on some moron who just wont understand! Some people are like that; they are called "Bone heads", their heads are thick to the core with nothing but solid bone! Well, not literally! Some may even possess a pea sized brain! But the sheer lack of grey matter makes them full of themselves! There is hardly any room in that tiny brain to put in and understand other people's opinions.

My advise is, leave them alone. Some people, who are intellectually handicapped, think that they know everything! You spend half your life living with and understanding Tgirls, yet this Bright Guy thinks that he knows more about them than you do! I think coming to terms with his being GAY has cost him all his mental juices! Ask him, and he will tell you that he knows Laser technology better than Mani Bhowmik! Well, donkeys will always bray, what can you or me do about that?

Transsexuality as I've encountered it, is simply an amazing way to be true to yourself and to live your true identity. It's not a fucking fetish or a perversion, it's a deeply felt human and actually highly poetical and beautiful way of self-expression - and it demands respect - not to be be-littled... and it usually comes with a lot of pain.

Yes, my man, yes. You can spread the gospel of T-Love.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by racquel

Exactly.

If anybody actually did a study on the sex lives of TS people this would probably be pretty obvious. I'm almost too self-conscious to even have sex, and most of the people trying to hook up with me are awfully creepy.

word!

One bit that seriously gets me is how totally impossible it is to have an organic relationship. Relationships center on being trans* - either BECAUSE of it, or IN SPITE of it. I can't just go out, have chemistry with a guy, and see what comes next.

Personally, I think this whole thing is bound up with gay guy's obsessive fetish of landing a straight guy. Since they want one, we obviously must have gone through this so we could do it more easily.

[racquel]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Personally, I think this whole thing is bound up with gay guy's obsessive fetish of landing a straight guy. Since they want one, we obviously must have gone through this so we could do it more easily.

Well, some of them definitely resent the few straight guys who try to pick us up.

Tranny chasers are often a bit brooding/antisocial/creepy (maybe because they don't fit in at a gay bar because they're just there looking for tgirls) but I've still seen gay guys get a real jealous vibe when a straight guy is hitting on me. They didn't want the T in GLBT in the first place, and now those damn trannies are taking the only masculine guys who go to gay bars!

I've had drag queens try to hit on guys that were hitting on me, then get all pissed off because the guy wasn't interested. Sorry! Maybe he's just not looking for a 200 lb. fag with a feather boa and ridiculous fake eyelashes! And I've even seen gay guys try to pick up tranny chasers by saying how hot they look in drag.

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by racquel

Tranny chasers are often a bit brooding/antisocial/creepy...

Oooh... I hope not...

Well, I actually once had a conversation with a Danish T-girl who truly dreamed of finding a non-tranny chaser straight guy. I guess her "logic" was that bagging such a guy would be constant proof of her "passability" as a "real" woman. To her being a trans-woman was apparently not as good as being a cisgender woman.

On the other hand, the absolute majority of trans-women that I've met over time have more or less unanimously been completely content with their unique gender dispositions - which I, obviously, applaud!

Actually, regarding my initial posting here, what my gay "opponent" seemed to have mixed up in his mind was the use of terms. He was actually referring to certain gay transvestites that will, undoubtedly, dress up to get the guys... but he insisted on them being transsexual which they are ofcourse not.

So be it :-)

H

[racquel]

Originally Posted by hankhavelock

Oooh... I hope not...

So do I.

It's not that I have such low self-esteem that I call everybody who could ever be interested in me a creepy tranny chaser. But there are a lot. Even the ones who seem normal will often say totally inappropriate things that they would never say to a GG. A couple weeks ago a cute military guy was talking to me at a bar. After about about 20 seconds of conversation decided he had to describe in detail how large his cock was and how much trouble I'd have fitting it in my mouth, then five minutes later he seemed confused and hurt that I didn't want to hang out with him on the porch when he went out to smoke...

But I'll certainly give you the benefit of the doubt.

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by Bionca

One bit that seriously gets me is how totally impossible it is to have an organic relationship. Relationships center on being trans* - either BECAUSE of it, or IN SPITE of it. I can't just go out, have chemistry with a guy, and see what comes next.

I guess that by the sentence "either BECAUSE of it" you refer to guys who're basicly only in it for the sex?

I actually don't think it's impossible at all to have a very organic and absolutely sane relationship. Yes, ofcourse, we've talked about transsexuality - it would be kinda strange if we didn't - and yes, we most likely wouldn't have had a relationship at all, if it weren't for her transsexuality and my obvious attraction to "the third gender". But the relationships have been based on exactly the same aspects that I guess most people's relationships are based on: namely giant boobies, a big ass and comparing dick-sizes... Oh well...

No seriously, her transsexuality is ofcourse not in itself enough to base a relationship on. As being a woman (cisgendered) or a man aren't either. And I do dare postulate that I've had some pretty sane and deep relationships with some pretty sane and deep ladies - of what ever gender, I can even say. The dynamics of a good relationship are not genderrelated, I believe...

Or am I completely wrong here...?

H