The Problem For T-girl & Her Lover

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by Phenom99

Any part of the body can be sexual, if you treat it right

Absolutely!

Here is my observation as far as guys with Trans* women go. For men, generally, the whole of the sexual act is all about what happens to the penis. It is understood that when two guys discuss sex ultimately they are discussing what happened to their penis (perhaps some attention is given to what diversions happened on the way to the penis). When hetero women discuss sex, it's a discussion of what happened to their partner's penis.

It seems logical that being with a Trans* woman who has a penis the sex would ultimately be about her penis as well as the guy's. Why then is it so problematic for so many Trans* women? You will obviously find Trans* who enjoy, or don't mind, having it stimulated. You will also find trans*women who feel (seriously) violated with the act. It goes into the very heart of what makes a Trans* woman a Trans* woman.

I can only give my own personal account, and other gals will likely have different experiences and conclusions. To me, the whole transitioning was not about clothes, make-up, being "treated like a girl", or taking on any sort of role. It was a very real sense that my body was not my own. As I developed sexually as a person, I gravitated to the parts of me that were comfortable. My penis was not one of those parts. For all the trying and performing I have done to please past partners, it is (sensually) pretty dead. It is rather like dating someone who has a foot fetish since I don't share that particular kink. I may let them lick/suck my nicely pedicured toes and go get a polish they like and let them indulge... but really, I'm not getting much out of it. They are licking my big toe.

I can pretend and squeal and moan and even produce some stuff if they are REALLY persistent. However, the whole time I'm wondering when they will actually realize that my WHOLE body is sexual, and many parts are WAY more erotically charged than either my toe or my cock.

So while I'm not pained and I don't feel like the possession of a cock makes me less of a woman, nor do I feel that even catching a glimpse of it is a violation (no to belittle anyone who feels that way). I'm also not running home in the hopes that a guy is gunna want to gobble it down. It is simply one of many parts of my body that can be kissed, licked, fucked, teased, coaxed, rubbed, fondled and enjoyed. But it is also something that is very complicated for me and some days it really is "no man's land".