The Problem For T-girl & Her Lover

[Phenom99]

Any part of the body can be sexual, if you treat it right

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by Phenom99

Any part of the body can be sexual, if you treat it right

Absolutely!

Here is my observation as far as guys with Trans* women go. For men, generally, the whole of the sexual act is all about what happens to the penis. It is understood that when two guys discuss sex ultimately they are discussing what happened to their penis (perhaps some attention is given to what diversions happened on the way to the penis). When hetero women discuss sex, it's a discussion of what happened to their partner's penis.

It seems logical that being with a Trans* woman who has a penis the sex would ultimately be about her penis as well as the guy's. Why then is it so problematic for so many Trans* women? You will obviously find Trans* who enjoy, or don't mind, having it stimulated. You will also find trans*women who feel (seriously) violated with the act. It goes into the very heart of what makes a Trans* woman a Trans* woman.

I can only give my own personal account, and other gals will likely have different experiences and conclusions. To me, the whole transitioning was not about clothes, make-up, being "treated like a girl", or taking on any sort of role. It was a very real sense that my body was not my own. As I developed sexually as a person, I gravitated to the parts of me that were comfortable. My penis was not one of those parts. For all the trying and performing I have done to please past partners, it is (sensually) pretty dead. It is rather like dating someone who has a foot fetish since I don't share that particular kink. I may let them lick/suck my nicely pedicured toes and go get a polish they like and let them indulge... but really, I'm not getting much out of it. They are licking my big toe.

I can pretend and squeal and moan and even produce some stuff if they are REALLY persistent. However, the whole time I'm wondering when they will actually realize that my WHOLE body is sexual, and many parts are WAY more erotically charged than either my toe or my cock.

So while I'm not pained and I don't feel like the possession of a cock makes me less of a woman, nor do I feel that even catching a glimpse of it is a violation (no to belittle anyone who feels that way). I'm also not running home in the hopes that a guy is gunna want to gobble it down. It is simply one of many parts of my body that can be kissed, licked, fucked, teased, coaxed, rubbed, fondled and enjoyed. But it is also something that is very complicated for me and some days it really is "no man's land".

[GCharles]

I think the hard cock
But i often find the face is just a sexy, especially expressions

[Talvenada]

BIONCA:

Not to put you or anyone on the spot,

but if gay men want masculine men, straight men want feminine women, t-girl admirers are attracted to hard cocks on feminine forms for the most part, and most of the t-girls (not TV's) on this site are conflicted over what's between their legs--albeit in different degrees--

what a does one do w/ limitations on a limited situation to begin with?

I mean this is the corner of the corner!

As difficult as mating is in the best of circumstances, this is sanity threatening!

I do realize that no one probably has a solution,

but the poll was supposed to be secondary to the conversation.

Wouldn't the guy most interested in a t-girl be into her surprise, having no or no more children, and be in the mood for bedroom-type activities.

One answer is your ability to make a man crazy w/ pointed excitement, like your marine not being into your surprise junk.


Piece,


TAL

[Bionca]

Tal... that, my sweet, is the burning question isn't it? Sex should be uncomplicated and mutually pleasureable - right? For me (and from what I hear from the GG's) and women in general that isn't always the case.

"Wouldn't the guy most interested in a t-girl be into her surprise, having no or no more children, and be in the mood for bedroom-type activities."

1) Seems to be the case mostly
2) Yes and no.. and children (and guys wanting them) is a whole other topic
3) Yes, but one would hope there would be more happening - but I get your point.

It is clear that for the majority of guys it is the physical stuff that makes us desireable. Guys could have a cock on a man or a woman with a vagina... but in us he gets cock and a woman. As objectifying as that is, and not even getting into how that ultimately hurts Trans* women, it is the cold harsh reality of desire.

Idealistically, I want our strength, determination, and force of will to be what makes us attractive. But, I like a few specific fatures on guys and sometimes I don't care how well he can do math in his head (or whatever). So I can hardly expect guys I date to be less carnal in their motivations that I am myself.

On planet porno all Trannys love having their cock played with, are sexually available to any and all men/women/shemales - then again, this is the place where Ron Jeremy can still get laid easily. In real life, sex is always going to be about negotiation. We agree or comply with what is happening with our bodies. If we do not agree or comply, sex stops or changes focus (anything else becomes messy and illegal and pretty shitty).

[Bionca]

I wanted to break this post up ecause It was getting long.

So what to do with sex and the single trans*?

The best thing for a guy who seriously wants to BE with one of us - not pay us for our time - is to understand that our idea of good sex is not always going to be the same as yours. Much like one would expect on any date with any person. I "get" that it's the cock y'all ultimately wanna see, and frankly, it's better that way then having a guy be so freaked by it he doesn't even want accidental contact/visuals with/of it.

My advice to guys is be respectful with what your partner wants/needs sexually. Take her non-verbal cues on how/where to pleasure her body - just like she is doing with you. If cock-play is the end-all of your attraction and you are not willing to pay an escort, politely discuss this beforehand. She'll know (or more likely have confirmed) what you want and will be able to decide if she's willing to go out.

Remember also, for many of us the cock isn't always a huge no-no spot. It's just tiresome when EVERY PART OF MY BODY IS CAPABLE OF PLEASURE .. and my partner wants to focus on that same part the last guy did.. and him before that.. and and and... except that one guy who thought he wanted it, but really didn't, and then freaked out and ran away.

[ladylover]

I agree with Bionca.

[franalexes]

I'm trying hard to see where Bionca and I sort of blend in our perception of what we are. I do not speak for her ( I know better ) nor are her remarks a copy of my thoughts. Sexuality for me is like a pat of butter on a mound of hot mashed potato. ( See Mr. Bush, there is no E ) It soon is melted into my entire being. The idea that TS is the best of both worlds is such a farce. Female hormones rage war on male body parts. Male parts don't always function 100%. I have soft skin, I have a sweet smile. I like my clothes. I like the attention, most of the time. So many guys have snuck a feel across my ass, I get offers to be a test stand for auto polish. I like the empowerment that females have over guys. It's not the same as that which guys have over gals but I still like it. Sex for me is not a quick jump into the back seat of a Chevy and a "Hey Fran, let's fuck."
But if you begin on Monday and a follow up on Tuesday and then through the week doing thoose little attentive things that brings me to the enjoyment of my own being then perhaps, if that is in your power, you will be justly rewarded. You want a 5 minute sexual experience with me? Go jerk! At least you will get the size you want.
Now, if you want to dance, I need the romance.
Why Bionca and I are spending time in this forum is an answer we haven't come up with yet, but we did give it thought briefly.
Just because I'm a composite does not make me a sex machine. I may even seem high-strung. It doesn't take much to tick me off but I'm not offended easily.
You have heard it said that you should treat us like females. We are more complicated than that. All the time you are devising skeems to "get us", remember we have the power to think like you do.
In terms that you guys just never seem to understand, "don't make love to me, make me feel loved."

Fran