funny joke!

[ladyboyadmirer]

Originally Posted by rchriss69

didnt really get the first joke :P had to read for an exp.

Oh well, maybe you need glasses too Rchriss lol.
I have heard that joke written a bit differently where the father tells his young son if he constantly wanks, it will cause blindness. The next day the son comes down to breakfast and says...Hey dad, I was thinking...can I wank just a little bit and wear glasses But I like that version from Hungcowboy just as much.
Rgds

[ladyboyadmirer]

The manager of Liverpool Football Club sends his talent scouts out around the World looking
for a new striker to hopefully win Liverpool the Cup Final at Wembley. One of his
scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out
to be a true superstar. So the manager flies to Iraq to watch him and
is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down at home to Man Utd with only twenty
minutes left, and Liverpool's manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod
to go on.

The lad is a sensation, scores five goals in twenty minutes and wins
the game for Liverpool.

The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the
media love the new star.

When he comes off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his first
day in English soccer.

"Hi Mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for twenty minutes today, we
were 4-0 down but I scored five and we won. Everybody loves me, the
fans, the players and the media, they all love me. Nothing will stop us going to Wembley"

"Great," says his Mum. "Now let me tell you about my day. Our car stereo was stolen and the car set alight. Your father got shot in the street by some British soldiers, your sister and I were mugged whilst shopping and
your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time."

The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mum, but I'm so sorry".

"Sorry?!?" says his Mum. "Is that all you've got to say?"

"It's your fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"

[ila]

On his way to his bedroom Little Johnny hears grunting and groaning coming from his parent's room.
Little Johnny opens the door only to find his mom bent over the dresser with Dad taking her from behind.
Dad looks over at Little Johnny with a big grin and winks.
Little Johnny runs to his room.

The next day Little Johnny's dad hears moaning coming from Johnny's room.
Curious he opens the door only to find little Johnny taking Grandma from behind.
Little Johnny looks up at his dad and says " It's not so funny when it's your mom is it?".

[ladyboyadmirer]

Originally Posted by ila

On his way to his bedroom Little Johnny hears grunting and groaning coming from his parent's room.
Little Johnny opens the door only to find his mom bent over the dresser with Dad taking her from behind.
Dad looks over at Little Johnny with a big grin and winks.
Little Johnny runs to his room.

The next day Little Johnny's dad hears moaning coming from Johnny's room.
Curious he opens the door only to find little Johnny taking Grandma from behind.
Little Johnny looks up at his dad and says " It's not so funny when it's your mom is it?".

Nice one Ila

[lemari_dela_tfemme]

3 Comrades at a desert islands, were boring... One said to the others, lets play Golf... One of them asked: "How to you play that? ". "Simple…" the first one replied, "with a bar, a ball and a hole..." and added "I put the bar", the 2nd stated "I put ball", and the one that asked, emphatically stated: "I do not play!!!"

[hungcowboy]

day of thanksgiving, mom and dad have a fight:

the mom calls the husband a "bastard"

and then the dad calls the wife a "bitch"

and billy goes to his mom and says "mom what's a bitch and a bastard?"

and the mom says "well, a bitch is a lady and a bastard is a gentlemen"




and then later billy goes outside and hears his neighbors, and hears "Put your penis in my vagina!"


So Billy goes to his mom and says "mom whats a penis and vagina?"



His moms says "Well Billy, a penis is a hat and a vagina is a coat"

and then later billy sees his dad shaving and cuts himself and says "Shit"


and billy said "Dad, whats shit"

And then his dad says
"Well billy, Shit is a type of Shaving cream "


and then billy goes to see his mom cutting the turkey and his mom cuts her finger and says "fuck!"


and then billy says to his mom "Mom whats fuck?"

"Well billy fuck is a way cutting the turkey"


and Then later the guests arrive and billy goes to them and says


"Hello bitches and bastards, may i take your penis's and vaginas,
my dad's upstairs wiping shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the Turkey

[orion]

Confucius said ... "Man who go to bed with problem in hand .. wake up with solution on chest" ...

I'll get me' coat now .. shall I ? ...

[Naked Freedom]

Originally Posted by lemari_dela_tfemme

3 Comrades at a desert islands, were boring... One said to the others, lets play Golf... One of them asked: "How to you play that? ". "Simple…" the first one replied, "with a bar, a ball and a hole..." and added "I put the bar", the 2nd stated "I put ball", and the one that asked, emphatically stated: "I do not play!!!"

if i were the third person i would have surely offered the hole

[SilverSabre]

Originally Posted by lemari_dela_tfemme

3 Comrades at a desert islands, were boring... One said to the others, lets play Golf... One of them asked: "How to you play that? ". "Simple..." the first one replied, "with a bar, a ball and a hole..." and added "I put the bar", the 2nd stated "I put ball", and the one that asked, emphatically stated: "I do not play!!!"

I' ve heard that joke about three Russian cops :D

[simmo]

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.
For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned,
he had a hat over his dick.

A woman walks past and says, snickering,
"If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."

He raised an eyebrow and replied,
"If you weren't so f**king ugly it would lift itself."

[simmo]

[QUOTE=ila;46934]On his way to his bedroom Little Johnny hears grunting and groaning coming from his parent's room.


LMAO ........... just cracked me up ! Thks