Who goes camping?

[SluttyShemaleAnna]

Never camp in a valley bottom, 'cos it will turn out to be a frost hollow, and you will wake up with your tent covered in ice. Never camp on top on a hill either, because 1, it will be too windy, 2 it will be to slopey, and 3 it will be too fucking lumpy. Halfway up is the best place. Or in a wood. Tho if you're in a wood, a badger may get in your tent and rip your testicles off.

Also, camper vans are not camping, its caravanning, which is the lowest of all forms of holidaying.

Also, real camping involves fitting everything on your back and walking to the campsite, otherwise it's just sleeping in a tent next to your car (unless there's a moderate chance of being eaten by a bear, in which case it becomes camping again.).

[sesame]

Originally Posted by SS-Anna

real camping involves fitting everything on your back and walking to the campsite, otherwise it's just sleeping in a tent next to your car (unless there's a moderate chance of being eaten by a bear, in which case it becomes camping again.).

You got me there!

Thanks for the tips.

[ila]

Originally Posted by SluttyShemaleAnna

Never camp in a valley bottom, 'cos it will turn out to be a frost hollow, and you will wake up with your tent covered in ice. Never camp on top on a hill either, because 1, it will be too windy, 2 it will be to slopey, and 3 it will be too fucking lumpy. Halfway up is the best place. Or in a wood. Tho if you're in a wood, a badger may get in your tent and rip your testicles off.

Also, camper vans are not camping, its caravanning, which is the lowest of all forms of holidaying.

Also, real camping involves fitting everything on your back and walking to the campsite, otherwise it's just sleeping in a tent next to your car (unless there's a moderate chance of being eaten by a bear, in which case it becomes camping again.).

It takes me several hours to drive to where I go camping. There's not much chance I'm going to walk there and back (1200 km) in the time that I have for holidays. The area where I go camping has a lot of bears around and moose. One doesn't really want to irritate either species. Oh yes, I can't forget about horseflies that are the as big as a man's thumb and the clouds of mosquitoes.
Gee I guess I really do go camping.

[SluttyShemaleAnna]

Any of you guys know what you are supposed to do if you are in bear filled woods with no car to lock your food inside?

You have to climb a tree 100 metres from your campsite, then put a rope from that to another tree, and hang the food bag in the middle, 12 foot from the ground and 4 foot from each tree, otherwise the bear can jump up and get at it.

Bears are far too crafty, it's only a mater of time till they learn to use firearms and drive automobiles then it's the end for us humans..... lol

[sesame]

I love walking tours. I have done it quite often in the past. If you go visit the high mountains, there is no other alternative but to walk! Pack up all things really really necessary, get rid of worthless trifles, and carry it all on your sore back! Oh, forget whatever you may, dont forget your food! It can make a difference between life and death!

It happened to me several times. Once I was dying in a heavily forested gorge, without food! It was infested with wild animals and I seriously didnt want to spend the night there. I travelled until the end of my stamina and then, just gave up! I couldnt move, my muscles bagan to fail. I just sat down to pray and slowly die. Along came a woodcutter, and my hopes rekindled! I asked him for food, he smiled and told me that he had none, only a pile of firewood! By the way, he told me that there was a spring nearby. I sat up, concentrated on my options. I was out of water. Since I was going to die anyway, why not look in my bag one last time? I rummaged my bag and found a packet of 200 gms of sugar! Just what I needed. I part crawled on all four, part walked to a very shadowy part of the woods, following the mild hisss sound of the spring. I filled my bottle with water, poured all the sugar in and shook it to a solution for minutes. And then, I drank that life saving nectar! Yes, thank God! That liquid, rich in all the energy I needed, sustained me for a 5 km uphill climb! This happened somewhere near Chopta and Mukku-Bend on my way to Tunganath. Its marked reddish in the map. Those days were really good. I walked about 215 kms in 8 days, without rest. I took many shortcuts through jungles and avoided the road as much as I could. The whole 5 Kedarnath belt was covered on foot! First I wore canvas shoes! The leeches got inside the socks and sucked my blood for hours! The white shoes became brown at the end of the day. After a few days, they were shattered rags! I got rid of them and purchased a pair of slippers from a village local store. After some more stressful walking, I developed sores all over my feet, from constant friction. The next scene is pretty hilarious, an ironic grin comes to my face, every time I think of it. That is, me limping barefooted over the tracks, slippers in hand. Wherever the stretch was filled with jagged rocks, I would put on the slippers and go barefoot again when the pain became too much. I was so thankful & glad when I finally completed my route and finally stood on the asphalt road with transportation in Helang, not far from Urgam. Mission accomplished! :D

Advice: Better be very choosy about what you carry, its your own hide! Or else if you are a rich lucky fatso you can afford to hire a porter or two. Dont just leave your trash in the mountains or forests, collect them, bring em back to the stinking city, where they belong! Wear waterproof shoes with 2 socks or anklets inside. That way, your feet will be in good working condition for a long time. Always keep some Glucose in handy.

Image: My hand drawn map from 2004. It describes in detail the route I took from Kedarnath to Helang.

[GRH]

I like camping, but admittedly, I don't like "hardcore" camping...

I've always enjoyed the sort of camping where I can park, and then hike a reasonable distance to my site, but MUCH prefer a working source of drinkable water, etc. to not be TOO far away...

That said, I like a tent...I've never camped in an RV, nor do I have the desire to camp right next to water/electical hookups. But I DID camp on a remote island, where my site was several miles from the nearest water source, and right in the middle of a marsh...

Between the mosquitoes and extreme heat/humidity, I decided that camping like THAT does not suit my fancy. I don't want to have to walk miles on end just to procure water which I then must boil to make drinkable, all admidst a storm of malaria inducing insects. No thanks!

[DL_NL]

By SSAnna's definition I like to sleep in a tent next to my car. I'm such a wuss that I don't even prepare my own meals on a rickety stove using water I have to get from halfway across the site- I go out for food.

In fact, I like to sleep in a tent because it's cheap (I prefer two weeks in a tent over three days in a hotel, if the weather's half decent) and because I like waking up to the sound of birds instead of a hotel wake-up call and housekeeping banging their trolleys against the door.

[sesame]

Originally Posted by DL_NL

I like to sleep in a tent because it's cheap (I prefer two weeks in a tent over three days in a hotel, if the weather's half decent) and because I like waking up to the sound of birds instead of a hotel wake-up call and housekeeping banging their trolleys against the door.

I agree whole heartedly. Righto!

Originally Posted by GRH

I don't want to have to walk miles on end just to procure water which I then must boil to make drinkable

I always carry my water. But in case I am crossing a mountain or a forest, I am sure there would be streams or waterfalls to replenish my water. Just do some thorough enquiry about waterholes in case you are in an arid region. Regarding boiling of that natural water, :D I never do it. I just drink it directly from the source. My dad, who had been a civil engineer by profession, warned me of hill diarrhoea and such diseases... but I never got any. I just take that risk. I just like sweet sparkling clear water.

Years ago, when I hesitated to drink water from a spring, with fragments of green moss floating in it, one of the locals laughed at me and said, "Hey, have you not heard of Vitamin-C? Thats what the green stuff is!" Of course he was kidding. But from that day, my inhibition left me. I have even drank yellowish river water, which precipitated silt; and managed to digest it! I believe its all in your mind.

[ila]

Originally Posted by SluttyShemaleAnna

Also, camper vans are not camping, its caravanning,

It may be called caravanning in the UK, but it's not called that where I live.

Originally Posted by SluttyShemaleAnna

which is the lowest of all forms of holidaying.

That would be your opinion. If I had trailer and the vehicle to move it then I would definitely go camping in that. It's drier, more comfortable, and it sure is nice to be able to get away from all the flying and biting blood sucking insects.

[jimnaseum]

We would hike the Appalachian Trail when I was a kid, very safe, I got into alot more trouble hitch-hiking with no money. In Miami, I met my first transexual in a baby blue T-bird, She was so beautiful she looked like a Doll. My worst experience was at the beach, no money for a hotel, so we got eaten alive by mosquitos all night.

[SluttyShemaleAnna]

The proper use for a caravan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB74LJXAKYc

And the proper use of a motorhome: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHpfW_yXInE

Tent racing is yet to be invented.

[DL_NL]

Without even looking, I'd hazard a guess that the YT links refer to Top Gear scenes...

[twistedone]

Just went camping this last weekend. I love to camp in the mountains.
Usually go with friends, sit around the campfire, shoot the breeze, and explore our surroundings, and enjoy nature.

I'm a pretty simple camper. I have most of my gear in large plastic tote boxes that I can toss into the back of a pickup along with my tent, sleeping bag, and 3in thick foam pad. The tote boxes contain stoves, lanterns, cooking utensils, foil, some condiments, coffee, campfire coffee maker, and pots and pans. As well as my favorite, a large cast iron dutch oven which I have used to make some fantastic meals while in the woods.

[sesame]

Originally Posted by twistedone

I'm a pretty simple camper. I have most of my gear in large plastic tote boxes that I can toss into the back of a pickup along with my tent, sleeping bag, and 3in thick foam pad. The tote boxes contain stoves, lanterns, cooking utensils, foil, some condiments, coffee, campfire coffee maker, and pots and pans. As well as my favorite, a large cast iron dutch oven which I have used to make some fantastic meals while in the woods.

Thank you for your post twistedone. Its most informative.
I read about making a tent from scratch somewhere. I will look in my backup CDs and post it here soon.

[SluttyShemaleAnna]

Originally Posted by DL_NL

Without even looking, I'd hazard a guess that the YT links refer to Top Gear scenes...

One does, the other to a great destruction derby video i found.

Talking about Top Gear, who else would love to fuck the Hampster?

Originally Posted by twistedone

3in thick foam pad.

Woah woah woah, what's this? I thought we were talking about camping not building a tiny replica of a hotel bed. A therma rest is the limit ok, if a thermarest aint comfy enough, you have a faulty back! (if you actually do have a faulty back, you are let off this point)

Originally Posted by twistedone

a large cast iron dutch oven

Ok, now your just doing it wrong....


oh, and last time I checked a ''campfire coffee maker'' was a pan, anything else is actually an indoor utensil that you have accidentally taken with you outside.