Waiting for my dream girl

[a9127]

TikTok!

(According to the article I read she was considered "too old" for TikTok at 30. Guess I was right about anyone "born before 2000" being a "Boomer." Might as well kill me now... )

[a9127]

On CNN today...

For the uninitiated (Me: He really means anyone “over 18” i.e. “a Boomer” ) the $299 Oculus Quest 2 is a fully stand-alone virtual reality headset. You don’t need to connect it to a powerful PC (Me: That's good 'cause you know all my equipment is Shit.) and there are no pesky wires or sensors — just strap on the headset, pick up the two included controllers and you’re good to go. The Quest 2 allows you to create a virtual boundary where you can freely move around, so you’ll get the best workout experience if you have a decent amount of free space.

I started out with a couple of VR games I was already enjoying before I started this experiment: Beat Saber and Pistol Whip. The former is a rhythm game that has you slash targets to music with “lightsabers” in your hands, and the latter is a neon-soaked first-person shooter that has you take out enemies and dodge bullets John Wick-style while thumping electronic music plays in the background. Both games are great, but I got a better workout from Beat Saber — especially when furiously slashing along to my favorite Linkin Park songs (Me: Does the author not realize all the members of this band are several years older than “Dr. Andy”? Dr. Andy used to listen to Linkin Park back in high school. Still does. Last night he listened to the live version of “One Step Closer” from the 2001 Family Values Tour on YouTube while reliving his youth. Dr. Andy’s wife agrees that he is indeed a “Crazy Motherfucker.”).

I also worked up a decent sweat dancing along to Justin Bieber (Me: Christ. Is he actually serious? ) in Dance Central VR, and got my heart rate pumping in Blaston, a one-on-one multiplayer shooter that’s effectively dodgeball with guns. But I didn’t really start feeling the burn until I turned to the more fitness-focused apps available on Quest 2.

Here’s some screenshots for you. I think anything that motivates someone have a good workout is awesome. The author adds that VR is a “legitimate” way to work out. Everything is “legit” these days. I much prefer to work out “illegitimately.” But either way, I would probably be more motivated if my Oculus Quest could show some scenes like these three.

The last one's name is Laura Michelle. Laura Michelle is of course my “Future Wife.” But would this program even allow us to get married?

[a9127]

Selfie Culture brought us here. Today's phrase is "Thirst Trap."

A sexy photograph or flirty message posted on social media for the intent of causing others to publicly profess their attraction. This is done not to actually respond or satisfy any of this attraction, but to feed the posters ego or need for attention, at the expense of the time, reputation and sexual frustration of those who view the image or reply.

So I guess today's "Future Wife" is... Martha Stewart?

(Martha is 79. She's saying: "Andy, why are you wasting your time with those children you always post on TLB?" )

[a9127]

Just checking in to see if this site is alive or dead...

She is identified as Chulin Nakazawa. Not familiar with her. Perhaps I should be?

The video was appropriately titled “Cock Torture.” Looks like fun. We could take turns... But would she travel all the way to Zionsville? Maybe I could go to Japan instead?

[ila]

Originally Posted by a9127

Just checking in to see if this site is alive or dead...

I'd say mostly dead

[a9127]

I first remember posting about “men marrying dolls” on here a few years ago. Apparently it’s big business now. Guess the all the Coronavirus quarantining has much to do with it. Maybe I should start my own “sex doll” company in Zionsville. Who’s in with me?

At home with my latest GF. “Sweetie, I love you but you’ve really gotta quit smoking. That shit’ll kill ya.”

She’s saying: “Andy. Get your fucking finger out of my mouth. Now!”

I really hate PDA’s but we couldn’t help it.

“Baby close your legs! The neighbors are watching over the fence...”

This is a Gay sexdoll. Doesn’t do anything for me but I wish I had abs like that.

You could have your very own “Dr. Andy” doll. Who knew! Just wondering... do you think he’s missing something?

(But I’ve already decided long ago who my “Future Wife” would be if I were ever to go this route. You can find her here. Her name is "Michelle." She's 5’10” tall and comes well equipped with a 7” cock. Yes. I was shocked at how close to my “ideal woman” she actually was. At least superficially. And according to her “documentation” she will forever be “27.” $7,000 USD. Cheaper than a divorce. )

[a9127]

Anyway, this was from an article “Things You’ll Recognize if You’ve Been Teaching More Than 10 Years.” From 2018. So that takes us all the way back to... 2008? In 2009 a “young Dr. Andy” received his Ph.D. Before that he had been an “Assistant Professor of Business and Information Systems” at the college where he still teaches today (between Purdue and Indiana I picked up an MBA at Butler) and he cannot remember using ANY of the items shown in his classrooms. Apart from the VCR and floppy disks, most of this stuff looks like it’s from the 1950’s or before. Why do they always get this stuff wrong? It’s just like those “Born Before 1985” ads or saying that “Millennials” are 18-24. Jesus H. Christ!

Of course this is what a real “computer science” class was like “back in the day.” From IBM. No I don’t think I would have liked to teach back then.

This is more like it... Must be my grandad.

Present day. She’s saying: “So have you fucked Dr. Andy yet (giggle)?” “No. He’s married, you slut!”

True story: When I began my career they asked me to teach a summer class exclusively for “Adult” learners. It met for three hours, on a Monday night, for five weeks. I got paid $5,000 USD. Not too bad for part time... But as my students quickly discovered: “He lives in Zionsville!”

All my courses are “online” now because of Coronavirus. Hard to believe it’s been almost a year. I really miss seeing my students “face to face.” Especially this one.