Waiting for my dream girl

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Sunday morning, nothing to do. The first pic came up on my phone this morning. Yes, she’s definitely a “Future Wife” even though I can’t see her face. Shit. I just know...

Anyway it got me thinking, what IS “the perfect ass” anyway?

These are some of what I found:

This is the first one that came up in my search. A mousepad. All I could think of is “It’s a good thing I’m left-handed.” And how do you know she’s not trans? I was thinking that she was. She’s saying: “Andy, I’ve got something else you’d like. You just need to come around to the front.”

Moderators: I just hope this one is “18.”

Very nice. That reminds me, today is “squat day.”

The article said “the science of the perfect ass.” Really! “Dr. Andy” is all for science so he read it with great interest. Maybe he could get a grant to study this further?

Speaking of “Dr. Andy” I’m sure that he has been “a perfect ass” on many occasions.

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She’s saying: “Andy said he’d be over at 9:00. I forgot he meant tomorrow!!!”

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She is pissed. "Andy! All those charges from OnlyFans? WTF?"

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Nice shirt. Guess I would like to be the "Tramp" then.

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From PERV: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us by Jesse Bering, published in October 2013 by Scientific American/ Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC. Copyright © 2013 by Jesse Bering. All rights reserved.

(Silly comments by “Dr. Andy,” January 2021. )

Acrotomophilia - Arousal to amputees (See a lot of this on “E-Hentai.”)

Actirasty - Arousal to the sun’s rays (Once had a girlfriend who was addicted to tanning.)

Agalmatophilia - Arousal to statues (Well, “Venus” IS kinda hot...)

Anasteemaphilia - Arousal to a person of extreme stature (Muscular women?)

Autogynephilia - Arousal to oneself [male only] in the form of a woman (No comment...)

Autoplushophilia - Arousal to oneself dressed as a giant cartoon-like stuffed animal (Ditto...)

Chasmophilia - Arousal to caverns, crevices, and valleys (Hell no. I stay away from places like that.)

Climacophilia - Arousal to falling down stairs

Exhibitionism - Arousal to displaying one’s sexual organs in public

Formicophilia - Arousal to insects (Only if she’s the “Queen Bee.”)

Frotteurism - Arousal to touching a stranger surreptitiously in a crowded place

Gerontophilia - Arousal to the elderly (Hope Dove Cameron suffers from this. Yes I’m older than her. We had a date for tonight.)

Katoptronophilia - Arousal to sex in front of mirrors (On the ceiling maybe?)

Knismolagnia - Arousal to being tickled (Doesn’t everybody?)

Lithophilia - Arousal to stone and gravel

Masochism - Arousal to experiencing physical and psychological pain

Nasolingus - Arousal to sucking on a person’s nose (Never have thought about sucking someone’s nose before. Sounds kinky...)

Nebulophilia - Arousal to fog

Necrophilia - Arousal to corpses

Objectophilia - Arousal to a particular object, distinct from fetishism (Well maybe if it’s a 2021 Koenigsegg Jesko Absolut.)

Partialism - Arousal to a body part other than the reproductive organs (Ass and Legs!)

Pedophilia - Arousal to prepubescent children

Podophilia - Arousal to feet

Psychrophilia - Arousal to being cold and watching others who are cold (Maybe that’s why my wife always tells me to “chill out”?)

Pubephilia - Arousal to pubic hair (No. I like my partners shaved.)

Pygophilia - Arousal to buttocks (Fuck yes!!! Why is this a fetish anyway?)

Sadism - Arousal to causing physical and psychological pain

Stygiophilia - Arousal to the thought of hellfire and damnation (Guess that’s why I stopped going to church.)

Urophilia - Arousal to urine or urinating others (Was “pissed on” by my ex. Didn’t like it.)

Vorarephilia - Arousal to eating another person’s body parts (Also big on “E-Hentai.”)

Voyeurism - Arousal to spying on others for sexual gratification

Xylophilia - Arousal to wood (“Uhuhuhuuh he said wood...”)

Zoophilia - Arousal to nonhuman animals

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Her name is "Brooke." Met her online. Maybe she'll come to Zionsville?

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“No Ariel. This ISN’T what I wished for...”

She’s saying: “Do you like this better?”

“I found some rope. Maybe you could tie me up?”

“Oooh... I love it when they rub together.”

“Sorry Andy. I didn’t mean to cum all over your face. But you look so cute like that (giggle).”

“Shit. Why do they all go to sleep after?”

(Moderators: These are all "non-Disney fan-art" drawings from various sources. As in previous posts, I'm assuming she's "over 18.")