Waiting for my dream girl

[a9127]

Today’s best “clickbait” ad gave me an idea of what my “Future Wife” will look like.

IF I live to be 1000.

She’s saying: “Sorry Andy, but you’re really just too old for me...”

(What would you tell her on a date? “You have really prett... errr... ummm... BIG eyes.”? )

[a9127]

I've decided that our date would be "awkward" at best. I don't know if I ever could get used to those eyes looking at me all the time.

“What? Did I spill something on my necktie?”

“Stop staring at my cock. It’s not that big...”

“This is the ‘3000’s’! I thought it would be OK if I brought my wives and all my sex dolls along for our date...”

(Wonder how they arrived at that is how humans would look like in the year "3000"? I mean I would think by then everyone would be at least 7' tall, stronger than The Terminator, immune from all diseases, and look like Brad Pitt or Cindy Crawford. But what do I know... )

[a9127]

This arrived in my e-mail this morning. From PC Magazine! Not exactly what I would have expected at 7:00 AM.

Didn't read the article. I mean really? What could they tell me that I don't already know?

(Moderators: I'm sure the dogs are at least "18" in people years. )

[a9127]

"Dr. Andy" can't help it. It runs in the family. This is my grandfather with his "Business COBOL Programming" class.

(Moderators: Since it is a "Business School" I assume it's a college and not a high school so over "18." Probably a "community college" - 2 year.)

[a9127]

Most “visits to Santa” this year will be “socially distanced.”

But not for me. As you can see this Santa and his two helpers will be having a celebration of their own.

The one on the left is 6’3” and the one on the right is 6’2”.

They’re saying: “Wait ‘till you see what we’ve got for YOU, baby.”

[a9127]

Think I found a workout partner.

[a9127]

Your very own Penis Car? Built in 1969, many music fans will remember it from the Steppenwolf album “For Ladies Only.” Apparently it only has 500 miles on the odometer (well, yeah... makes sense... where would you drive it anyway? ).

The Internet IS educational. For example until today I’d never seen any other views of this car. Wonder if it hurts when you get “hit from behind” by someone? Guess that’s what they mean by “that which has been seen cannot be unseen.”