The Conquistador's Picture Of The Day

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The latest "news" in my inbox this morning... Zoom has been used by many during this coronavirus time to hold conferences. It's quick and easy to set up for one. Some of my colleagues have used it. However, if you let anyone join your meeting, the results can become unpredictable. There have been cases of lectures being interrupted by porn on screen, racist messages, and other things.

But apparently, the latest thing is that you can become anybody on Zoom.

So, this is what I decided I will look like to my students and clients.

Of course my class looks like this...

(Moderators: They are all "college age" so >18.)

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It would probably be a good idea to take my shorts off first.

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Today's “ad” was “How To Look Sexy on Instagram” the picture below is what accompanied the ad.

I tried dressing like that for my profile picture but it didn’t work…

But they DID have a list of captions guaranteed to get you laid. (My advice: Use them at your own risk. Bet you’ll be spending the night with your hand… )

“Do you sit in a pile of sugar? cause you got a pretty sweet ass! (Me: Tried this one on my wife. Not only did I end up sleeping in the garage, she also ran over me with our truck… )

They say tongue is the strongest muscle of the body. Wanna fight?

Did you swallow magnets? cause you are attractive!

Kiss me if I’m wrong but Dinosaurs still exist? Right? (Me: Tried this out on Dove Cameron. She replied “You should know Andy, you’re old enough…” )

Nice t-shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Do you have a name or can I call you Mine?

Do you like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometimes!

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living? (Me: The “best” one. Though that’s probably debatable. May try this on Taylor Swift the next time she’s here. )

Do you live in a cornfield, coz I’m stalking you.

Never do the same mistake twice, unless he’s hot!

My mind is full of You!

Can I keep You?

Hey You! I love your face!

You don’t cross my mind. You live there!

As beautiful on the inside as I am on the outside.

Let me touch your shirt so I can tell you if it’s boyfriend material.

Besides chocolate, you’re my favorite.

Smile. It’s the second-best thing you can do with your lips.

In a room full of art, I would still stare at you. (Me: Jesus Fucking Christ! Please don't tell me you think this one would actually work? )

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My posts are not getting many views. So when all else fails…

The first three: “He lives in Zionsville???”

“We loved your on-line class Dr. Andy!!!"

“Oh Shit. He’s married…”

Yes. I know. But I can’t control who sees that pic…

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Fuck, he looks creepy. McDonalds had a campaign several years ago to attract younger consumers. It didn't work... One, they got "Millennials" confused with "Gen Z" as many do. Two, the campaign sucked. "Selfies, here I come." Three, in 2016 there were "evil clown sightings" worldwide and basically Ronald was toast.

But his "makeover" got me thinking... Maybe this is what I should wear for my date with Dove Cameron?

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As if the news wasn't bad enough...

Today, CNN reported coronavirus can exist in semen and may be passed on to your partner during sex. Here's what they had to say:

The new coronavirus can persist in men's semen even after they have begun to recover, a finding that raises the possibility the virus could be sexually transmitted, Chinese researchers said Thursday.

A team at Shangqiu Municipal Hospital tested 38 male patients treated there at the height of the pandemic in China, in January and February.
About 16% of them had evidence of the coronavirus in their semen, the team reported in the journal JAMA Network Open. About a quarter of them were in the acute stage of infection and nearly 9% of them were recovering, the team reported.

"We found that SARS-CoV-2 can be present in the semen of patients with COVID-19, and SARS-CoV-2 may still be detected in the semen of recovering patients," Diangeng Li of Chinese People's Liberation Army General Hospital in Beijing and colleagues wrote.

"Even if the virus cannot replicate in the male reproductive system, it may persist, possibly resulting from the privileged immunity of testes," the team added. Privileged immunity means the immune system cannot fully reach the region to attack viral invaders.

If this is true maybe I'll just have to cut them off...

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More news weirdness... Really, I have no idea how I could have made it all the way up to Connecticut overnight.

(Sorry couldn't resist. In the post above, I'm sure the one on the right is thinking "He lives in Zionsville?" Works every time... )