Waiting for my dream girl

[a9127]

"Online Degrees in Zionsville" read yesterday's "fake ad" featuring an 88 year old man. I know his age because I looked him up. Guess he was "Born Before 1985"? Same as me... It was a stock image of course. There are no degrees in Zionsville. I should know because that's where I live.

Since it's not looking right now like I'm going to be a member here much longer, I thought I would leave you with this picture instead.

Another "stock image" but a much sexier one. She is what we would term a "non-traditional" student. Over 25, returning to finish her degree, raising a family, working two jobs, etc.

Of course I want to take her out to celebrate. I'm sure she got all "A's" in my classes...

[a9127]

Just want to let everyone know I'm still doing my part to "self quarantine."

Keeping our home cleaned is essential to fighting coronavirus. My wife however has been wondering why everyone I've hired so far is "in her early 20's, blonde, and good looking"?

[a9127]

Shit. I hope that is her granddad and not the groom…

Our next door neighbor (recently divorced and single). “Andy! Is your wife home? This coronavirus quarantine is making me so HOT…”

The caption was: “How do know when you are being cheated on?” Umm… Maybe when you catch her fucking your best friend?

And my profile picture is still bringing them in… The last three: “He lives in Zionsville!”

[a9127]

Courtney Cox has said she "can't remember being on 'Friends' in the 90's..."

That's OK, I can't remember much about The 90's" either.

But I do remember watching "Friends" all the time. To me it was known as "The Jennifer Aniston Show."

In an interview, Jennifer talked about going through an "awkward" period in her 30's. I am going through one right now... Maybe we could talk about it over dinner?

(Jen was a really huge "celebrity crush" at the time. For lots of guys not just me. Maybe bigger than anyone today. Told my parents I would marry her someday... Check out her phone in the last picture. That was a long time ago. )

[a9127]

Got to thinking… Despite what they try to say about me in those “Born Before 1985” ads featuring that same 80 year old man, I realized that “age wise” actually I’m right in between these two. Funny how that just sort of worked out…



Fuck, you might as well kill me now!!!

[a9127]

Today’s “housecleaner” brought a surprise:

“Hello Andy. Your regular housekeeper is off today. My name is ‘Dr. Cindy.’ It’s time for your annual checkup. Now be a good boy and take off your clothes and bend over the counter for me or else I’ll have to discipline you…”

[a9127]

Today’s favorite “fake ad” is brought to you by MSNBC. The caption was something like “12 Ways to Make Money at Home.” Does anybody else think the same thing as I did?

Or do I just have a “dirty mind”?

(No, I think I was right. Looked up my “future wife”… Found the picture under “Shutterstock” images. The filename was very long but had “sexual-licking-tongue” in there. See for yourself! Update: I'm right. She's also under Adobe images. Here's the complete gallery. After looking through all of them I feel the least I can do is ask her out on another date... )