Waiting for my dream girl

[a9127]

Nothing to post anymore. The Internet hates me today.

This guy going to see his doctor is “40.”

Shit, I hate it when all my “ex’s” get together…

My wife said “I told you what would happen if you posted any more pictures of Hayley Williams.”

[a9127]

CNN had a new "fake ad" for me today: "More pot investors join today’s new millionaires."

Wouldn't care, but a beautiful woman wearing denim shorts walking along the beach by herself is more than enough to get my attention.

So I had to do a Google search to see who my latest "future wife" was.

I found the original image but she's not identified and all it said was "photo shoot."

(Update: Persistence pays off. Tried again and struck gold. Still don't have a name but found several more pics of her. Nice... )

[a9127]

The original “Rebelde” ran from 2004-2006. You can find it on Netflix. The setting was the “Elite Way School” in Mexico City. A fictitious high school. Good thing, ‘cause I’d get myself into trouble in no time. That should be me with Anahí on the bike. Nice bike by the way.

(Moderators: Both women were actually born in 1985 and 1983 and are at least 19 and 21 here. Why wasn’t my school in Michigan like this? )

[a9127]

Tyra Scott "future wife"?

(She invited me over for dinner. But I don't see any food out... Wonder what she had in mind? )

[a9127]

More “ED” fun! This is what they “advise against” doing in favor of whatever they’re selling. Bet that works though. Hell I’d get hard. Especially if Tyra (above) did that to me. Seriously though, I read a story once of a guy that shot cocaine into his dick. It got infected and had to be “surgically removed.”

He’s “35”? Whatever. I’ve seen him before in those fake “Born before 1985” mortgage ads. His name is “Brian Johnson.” Brian, you sly dog you.

And this couple was “Born before 1985” so they are my age? No, it's just me who's old. My wife was born in 1987. She’s still a fuckin’ kid…

[a9127]

“Eye Contact”? Where did they think I was looking? Based on my experience, this machine is a lot more fun with a partner. "...moaning as I pull her shorts down revealing her hardening cock."

(One article says this machine is one of four to avoid in the gym. No, it has a purpose. Just not the one the designers had in mind. Or maybe they did... )

[a9127]

My new friend in the above post looks like she could use a “workout partner.”

It gets even better. They have these machines with adjustable backs that allow the user to lay down. Don’t tell me the designers didn’t know what they were doing… Why am I thinking this could be used in some kind of bondage game? It looks like a piece of dungeon equipment. Or do I just have a dirty mind? (probably, yes...) Of course you can also use it “backwards” as shown below. Incidentally the caption for this image was “Showing Porn Images for Adductor Exercise Machine.” Who would have thought?

Anyway today’s fake ads brought yet another of my “future wives” wearing a hoodie. Of course I’m a sucker for a woman in a hoodie as you can clearly see from the third picture.