Waiting for my dream girl

[a9127]

From Esquire:

This week in "Everything Is Dumb, Humanity Is Broken," a 69-year-old man is petitioning to legally have his age lowered to 49 because it fits his body better, claiming that age is fluid, like gender or my faith in humanity. The Dutch man, Emile Ratelband, was born in 1949 and works as a pensioner in his hometown of Arnhem.

The whole thing kicked off after Ratelband, who literally described himself as a "young god," felt he was being discriminated against on dating apps. Regarding the 20-year-shed reported in The Guardian, Ratelband goes on to say, "When I’m on Tinder and it says I’m 69, I don’t get an answer. When I’m 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position." Pretty presumptive to think that it's the 69 (nice) that's deterring potential partners and not, say, the penchant to call yourself a "young god."

Unfortunately, I believe Ratelband weakens his already shaky argument by comparing his proposed “age adjustment” to changing one’s gender legally. Not only is that offensive to many (to me it sure as hell is) but it’s the wrong comparison and shows his ignorance.

However he has given me a great idea! I’ve decided to petition a judge to make me “18” again. The same age as Hayley Williams in the picture I’ve posted below.

As for our misguided friend. I couldn’t help but run the “age test” on him. Check it out. A “young god” he is not. He might want to think about having more than 20 years deducted. Maybe see a plastic surgeon while he's at it? I have a feeling his reasons for not getting a “date” on Tinder are many… age is the least of his worries.

[a9127]

Recently another one of those “fake ads” has been circulating. You know, the ones like the “Born Before 1985” ads featuring 80 year old men. They are commonly referred to as “clickbait.” This one instead features a gorgeous model wearing a red hoodie. The caption reads:

“An Apple Engineer Designed a Sweatshirt That’s Disrupting American Manufacturing.”

Below is a review of the ad featuring my “future wife.” My comments are in parentheses. As always they should be taken with a “grain of salt.” Fuck, just use the entire shaker!

“This ad is good.” (No Shit. )

“A photo of a realistic looking woman looking directly at you.” (Yeah, sure, I run into women who look just like her at least 1000 times a day or more… )

“Piggybacking on a brand like Apple and incorporating a power word like “Disrupting.” (Damn, I though SHE worked for Apple! Was planning to move to California. The thing she’s most likely to “disrupt” is my current marriage... )

“Once again, doesn’t get anymore basic and boring than American Manufacturing.” (Gee Thanks. Now I know what’s wrong with our economy. Never would have guessed... )

“And yet this ad manages to somehow leap off the page.” (Yeah, it does. My first thought was “Who IS she?” then “How can I ask her out?” Never really thought about the “hoodie” except that she looked cute in it. )

“Thanks in large part to emphasizing what’s interesting or unique.” (Hint: Definitely NOT the sweatshirt. Sorry... Now if you can just tell me her name.)

[a9127]

As I said a couple posts above, the man who wants to have his age “lowered” legally so he is more appealing to women on Tinder seems to have larger problems. Sorry dude, “49” ain’t gonna be enough…

Chiefly, his arrogance regarding his looks and personality (“young god” and the “face I have”). Also what exactly does he DO? Does he have a job? Has he retired? Is he rich? What? Maybe he just needs a “sugar momma”?

It’s not unusual for there to be 20+ age differences with couples nowadays. There’s a lot of things that make a relationship work. But I don’t need to tell you that…

The president of France, Emmanuel Macron is 40. His wife Brigitte Macron is 25 years older. I think that’s awesome.

Many of the women we’ve posted to the Divas thread are older than most of us. Often by quite a bit. It got me thinking:

“Would I date or become involved with a woman say, almost twice my age or older?”

The answer of course, is “Yes.” Like anything it would have to depend on the person and circumstances. Here are a few I’d love to go out with…

(I posted this here rather than the Divas thread because it specifically addresses dating. Most of these women are already represented in the "Divas" or "Retro" threads. Several times...)

[Boner]

The answer of course, is “Yes.” Like anything it would have to depend on the person and circumstances. Here are a few I’d love to go out with…

(I posted this here rather than the Divas thread because it specifically addresses dating. Most of these women are already represented in the "Divas" or "Retro" threads. Several times...)[/QUOTE]

I'm on the older end of that spectrum now....

But ever since I was a kid first getting turned on by beautiful ladies it was always more for older women. I wanted one to teach me

[a9127]

Originally Posted by Boner

But ever since I was a kid first getting turned on by beautiful ladies it was always more for older women. I wanted one to teach me

Yes that was and is a common fantasy. Nothing wrong with that!

What did you think about the guy who wanted to change his age from 69 to 49? I did some research and under certain circumstances it may be possible to legally change your age. In the United States it would be difficult.

Shit, his friends told him to do what everyone else on Tinder does... Lie!

(Was curious about my own picture from my WordPress site. Did the "age test" on it. It said "19." I'm actually in my 30's. I'll leave it as my "profile pic" on here for a while. Eventually I'll take it down. Who knows, maybe I'll get a date... )

[a9127]

We all do things to make us attractive to others. Some bodybuilders for example, inject oil into their muscles to make them appear "bigger." It doesn't necessarily make them "stronger." The risks are many including serious infection, amputation, and even death.

A popular "growth stimulant" among this group is Potenay B12. (Me: Jesus. Do you know what this is used for? See pic below. Some college and pro athletes have taken "Equipoise." No I have never done it.)

According to one of the bodybuilders interviewed, married men find that they get plenty of female attention, which is probably another reason why they’re reluctant to ditch their dangerous bulking regime. (Me: Fuck. It works. That’s why some people will do anything. )

Yet another said, “My wife doesn’t like it. However, I am happy with myself. She has to accept me like I am, or we will have to go our separate ways." "I usually tell my wife that she’s the only one who doesn’t like me. Other women love my size, they love it.” (Me: Wonder if they realize the "big arms" are fake?)

(Bet his wife would like it more if he injected it somewhere other than his arms… )

[a9127]

We were discussing older PC technology in another thread. Early computers often used "CGA" graphics that rendered everything in a Cyan, Magenta, White palette. It's really before my time but lasted through much of the 80's I have played many games based on this hideous color scheme.

This one is particularly funny because it's Harrison Ford as "Indiana Jones." Poor guy. Can't believe he gave his permission. I guess I could always use this screenshot as my profile pic on Tinder. How many guys wouldn't want to look like Harrison Ford? But I wonder how many women would "swipe right" on this picture?