Feel guilty about watching a ts porstar who passed away years ago and I just found out

[a9127]

I understand what you are going through. I went through something similar with Anna Alexandre. She was one of the first transsexuals that I had a “crush” on and it was only after a few years that I learned she had been killed in a car accident. Like you, I had often fantasized about Anna and also like you, felt some guilt after I learned she had passed away. But mostly I felt overwhelming sadness over her death and the loss of a beautiful human being. Eventually I decided that the best way to deal with my feelings was to learn as much as I could about Anna and be glad that this wonderful person had touched my life as she did, I’m sure, for many others. When I think about Anna now I celebrate her life not her death.

You might also want to learn about ways to become more involved in the LGBT community. Specifically, activities that promote public awareness of the particularly malicious forms of discrimination and violence transgender people are subjected to. Next November, if there is a Transgender Day of Remembrance ceremony near you, take the opportunity to go—in the meantime use the Internet or ask questions of members of this forum to learn more about some of the issues facing the LGBT community and ways you could help. Unfortunately, many of the members who you would learn the most from are no longer active here but you might search some of the threads.

I like your idea about travelling to Brazil. Maybe you would meet some of Kelly’s friends and it would allow you to “connect” and also learn more about her as a person.

Best of luck my friend.

[EasyE]

Thank you for understanding a9127 I will try to help out any way I can, it's nice to know someone who is going through the same thing I am, who understands there is a memoriam forum up here I'm going to put kelly and Keizy up there so people will know and remember them, and yes brazil is the way to go I will find people who knew them so I can connect and learn about them
As a person

[bareambition]

I was always devastated when I heard Camilla DeCastro died. I remember seeing her in one porno and I swear she did everything to the guy I would have wanted at the exact time and always felt I had a bit of a genuine connection with her. Going to Brazil next year hopefully I would have loved to have met her like you say to get to know her as a person RIP Camilla angel x