What sort of relationship do you want with a ladyboy? - Your Votes!!!

[vwf pervert]

Originally Posted by Bionca

This is a little disheartening, particularly on a site devoted to men who "admire" women like me. Firstly, I am a "real woman" - gender and biological sex are not the same. Secondly, the reason so often cited for not having an actual relationship with a Tgal has been in essence fear of what others might say. Relegating me to a curiosity or fetish, no consideration of my (our) feelings or needs.

Although I pass all day every day (even without makeup), I am 100% honest about my surgical status when the issue arises. To expect me to lie about a huge chunk of my life isn't exactly fair - imagine going through life never mentioning anything that happened in your first 20 years.

My transition, and those of my friends have shown courage, tenacity, character, strength and compassion that I rarely see in other communities of people. I'd like to be loved and admired for those qualities rather than whats going on in my crotch.

I do see your point and am sorry if I have offended you in any way... I do realise by what you are saying that it is really hard for you, without us guys looking at you as a sex object.... As you have read though I am married so a relationship with a women such as youself would simply not work.... It is still however a fantasy of mine( feelings or no feelings involved)

Again as I said I would not only enjoy casual sex but friendship as well, to get to know more about the beauty of a Tgirl....

[Bionca]

vwf -

I almost specifically left out the married guys. Having a sexual fantasy is normal and healthy, marriage may just limit one's ability to live the fantasy. So married guys who can't get into a romantic "date" relationship I understand.

I'm troubled by guys who wouldn't date us for fear of what ther friends/family may say. Also guys who made statements to the effect of "I like shemales and real women" - both of these statements tell me that some of you don't see me as a woman, and you are afraid that someone will call you out for being gay. Being a "dirty secret" can be hot, but being a "dirty secret" all day every day - come on.

I don't feel ashamed in who I am, I sure as hell don't want a guy who is ashamed of me.

**comments not directed at any particula poster**

[russellwu]

I understand it's (incredibly) unfair to you, but you have to understand that it isn't *us* that shy away from potential serious relationships; rather, it's society that forces us. Our lives, jobs and platonic relationships are held hostage here... and it's very difficult to ignore the fact. By that same account, I (and hopefully, others) have tremendous respect for those who choose to risk everything for love and identity.

So I hope you don't feel offended when some of us say that we would never date a tgirl (unless he—or she, in rare cases—is extremely rude about it). We may lack courage, but for some of us, respect is there.

[belfagar]

I don't think i want a relationship. I believe its purely sexual for me.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by russellwu

I understand it's (incredibly) unfair to you, but you have to understand that it isn't *us* that shy away from potential serious relationships; rather, it's society that forces us. Our lives, jobs and platonic relationships are held hostage here... and it's very difficult to ignore the fact. By that same account, I (and hopefully, others) have tremendous respect for those who choose to risk everything for love and identity.

So I hope you don't feel offended when some of us say that we would never date a tgirl (unless heâ€"or she, in rare casesâ€"is extremely rude about it). We may lack courage, but for some of us, respect is there.

Thank you for the honesty, I be honest in return. Please understand that I'm not trying to be mean here at all - and I DO intimately understand the issues around dating a transwoman.

The thing is, I think I have more balls than most guys. I took a hard look at my life when I was 17, I realized the root of my severe depression was that as I was going through puberty EVERYTHING was happening all wrong. When I finally figure out what was happening I couldn't wait to do something about it.

During the course of my first awkward years I lost every friend I had, my parents disowned me (thankfully my brothers are better), I haven't seen any of my extended family in at least 5 years. I'm finding it VERY hard to get a new job because my documentation seems to contradict (birh certificate will say "Male" even if I have the operation).

The thing is, I'm actually lucky. I have a degree, I wasn't forced into subsistance prostitution in order to pay for my life and surgeries. I pass very very well, that gives me a leg up over transwomen who don't or can't. I can go almost anyplace and not be seen as TG (unless someone looks REALLY hard).

Society may be the problem, but not challenging the attitudes of society won't help anything. I don't want to focus too much on the crap that has happened, because in all my life has been great, with some hiccups. I'm just .. amused that there seems to be so much appreciation of how gals like I look, with little consideration of what we had to do to get there and how we feel and think.

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by russellwu

I understand it's (incredibly) unfair to you, but you have to understand that it isn't *us* that shy away from potential serious relationships; rather, it's society that forces us....

That's a lame excuse... and a scary load of c***. No, I ain't flaming you at all here, I'm merely opposing your immediate acceptance of the standards of the moral majority - they ain't moral at ALL!

As long as you deny yourself and sacrifice your true being on the altar of less intelligent peoples' morale, then you basicly fuck yourself... in a bad way.

FUCK what society says! FUCK what ya mutha and ya sista and ya brutha have to say. SCREW conformity!

Be a man and prove them wrong, for crying out loud. Cuz indeed they are.

How hard can it be?

Peace!

H