When trans-women complain about being sexualized...

[smc]

Nothing keeps me "closeted." I share my attraction to transwomen openly, but I do not share it thoughtlessly -- by which I mean in circumstances when any discussion of sexual orientation is simply irrelevant or unimportant (e.g., standing in front of a classroom of students discussing syntactic structures of a language doesn't call for a such sharing of information). If the topic comes up, I do not flinch; I say what I find attractive and, if the conversation continues, I say why.

Over the course of many years, I have had the knowing many transpeople. Some of these acquaintances have become friendships, completely devoid of any sexual content. At my university, years ago, I was one of the people instrumental in securing the most progressive (at the time) set of rules of conduct protecting students and others from gender-oriented harassment and discrimination. To this day, some of the transpeople involved in that struggle have remained close friends.

Besides sexual flings, I have had genuine relationships with two transwomen. One of them lasted for a few years, but things completely unrelated to the fact that one person in the relationship is trans intervened to bring it to a close ... with good feelings toward each other still.