Sad transexual on HBO's Taxicap Confession

[racquel]

It's always seemed a little strange to me that most TS women don't seem to care about not being able to have kids. I went to a lot of support group meetings for a few years, and I think I was the only one who even mentioned it.

But I guess in the US there are a lot of TS people who transition later in life and actually had kids earlier. I've always been a little horrified of the idea of being a father ... which actually makes me feel like my depression over never being able to get pregnant is more of a selfish desire to feel more feminine than a maternal instinct, since if I just wanted a baby then I probably should've been a father instead of permanently sterilizing myself with female hormones.

I've often wanted to ask genetic women if they could choose between being a childless woman or having to live life as a man which one they would pick, but it seems like a creepy question to ask.

Creating life and feeling that bond with your child seems like such a major part of being a woman, and sometimes I do obsess about it. Hopefully I'll be able to adopt in a few years and get to experience some of that.

My partner has three children and it does contribute to me feeling like less of a woman.