Movie Quotes

[moonvisage]

I am unsure if this can be classed as an official quote as such,but the funniest thing i have ever heard in a film,was in an old horror movie called: House of Frankenstein.Boris Karloff was stuck in a cell,and was being tormented by a prison guard.When the guard got too close to the cell door bars,Boris reached out a gnarled clutching hand,grabbed the guard by the throat and started to throttle him with one hand.As the guards head was shaking backwards and forwards,Boris uttered: '' NOW,Will you give me my chalk?!!! ''.

[km1]

"Look Marge, you don't know what it's like - I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order. You're out of order. The whole freakin' system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth. 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do. Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown."

[smc]

I was thinking: I have lots of favorite movie quotes, and there are lots of great ones posted in this thread, but the films quoted all seem to be from one "side" of the movie spectrum. So, I'd just like to add one of my favorite quotes that appears in many, many films from the other "side" of the movie spectrum:

"Cum in my mouth, baby."

[time9]

I live by a quote from a book (Richard Bach- Illusions) "No problem is so large that it can not be run away from"
as far as changing a quote, when Glenda tells Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz "You had the power to go home all along" I want Dorothy to say "what is wrong with you people? You are sick fucks!"
In closing my six year old look at me and said (not knowing how wrong she was saying it but how right she was) "I think we have reached the point of no concern here dad"

From a truly tragic scene in The Rock:

[the Marines have ambushed the SEALs in the Alcatraz showers]
Gen. Hummel: This is General Hummel! Drop your weapons! Drop ’em!
Cmdr. Anderson: Anderson here, General Hummel. Commander. Team leader.
Gen. Hummel: Commander Anderson, if you have any concern for the lives of your men, you will order them to safety their weapons and place them on the deck.
Agent Paxton: This is not happening...
Cmdr. Anderson: Sir, we know why you’re out here. God knows, I agree with you. But like you, I swore to defend this country against all enemies, foreign, sir...and domestic. General, we’ve spilled the same blood in the same mud. You know God damn well I can’t give that order.
SEAL: We’re dead!
Gen. Hummel: Your unit is covered from an elevated position, Commander. I’m not gonna ask you again. Don’t do anything stupid. No one has to die here.
Cmdr. Anderson: [raising his voice] You men following the General—you’re under oath as United States Marines, have you forgotten that? We all have shipmates we remember. Some of them were shit on and pissed on by the Pentagon. BUT THAT DOESN’T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO MUTINY!
Gen. Hummel: YOU CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT! YOU’RE DOWN THERE, WE’RE UP HERE! YOU WALKED INTO THE WRONG GODDAMN ROOM, COMMANDER!
Cmdr. Anderson: STAND FAST!
Gen. Hummel: God damn it, Commander, one last time—you tell your men to safety their weapons, drop ’em on the deck.
Cmdr. Anderson: I CANNOT GIVE THAT ORDER!
Gen. Hummel: I’M NOT GOING TO REPEAT THAT ORDER!
Cmdr. Anderson: I WILL NOT GIVE THAT ORDER!
Gen. Hummel: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?!
Cmdr. Anderson: STAND FAST!
SEAL: Oh God...!
Cpt. Frye: Let’s waste these fuckers.
Gen. Hummel: One more time—you order your men to safety their weapons—
[a Marine purposely knocks loose bricks onto the floor]
SEAL: [whirling around and opening fire] AAAAHH!!
[they all start shooting; Goodspeed, Mason and Shephard react from below]
Gen. Hummel: CEASE FIRE!
[Shephard tries to climb the ladder]
Stanley Goodspeed: Don’t go!
SEAL: [as he’s shot] AAAH!!
Gen. Hummel: CEASE FIRE!
Lt. Shephard: Shit! God damn! Let go of me! Let go of me!
Stanley Goodspeed: Don’t! Don’t go!
[Shephard ascends and stares at the slaughter before cutting loose]
Cmdr. Anderson: [firing his pistol] AaaAAAAH!!
[Darrow drops him; Shephard continues to blaze away until Frye shoots him, ending the firefight]

[The Conquistador]

If you ain't first, you're last!-Ricky Bobby

[Sweet Sydney]

my favorite movie quote is from Yazoo ( my role model !!!!) in Final Fantasy Advent Children:

"Are we having fun yet...?" ( said in the most UBER sarcastic and mocking and bitchy ass voice as he walks up to some enemies he and his brother have just soundly fucked up, and are lying there on the ground ) ..

I still say Yazoo is a shemale ......if you have seen that movie just ...look at him ...

[smc]

I love it when Dorothy says this in The Wizard of Oz:

"My! People come and go so quickly here!"

Probably not my favorite movie quote, but I've already had occasion to use it twice today.

[TGirl Anna girly_feet_boy]

i was watching one of my favourite movies Escape From Alcatraz starring Clint Eastwood. When Doc chops off his fingers with a hatchet after the warden bans his painting work, Eastwoods character Frank Morris goes back to the workshop table and picks up his friends severed fingers and puts then in a wooden box. He then gives the box of fingers to one of the guards and says -
Frank Morris: Here. Put that in your report!

[The Conquistador]

Guerilla Leader: "You had better give up senor! You cannot kill us all!"

(Payne jams pistol in Guerilla Leader's ass)

Major Payne: "No, but I can clean your colon out quicker than one of them burrito's with extra guacamale sauce!"

[d332_dot_com]

There's a scene in my all time favorite movie Bunuel's Belle Du Jour where a nice fat Japanese man comes to "visit" Belle (Catherine Denueve). After he leaves, the housekeeper Pallas finds her naked on her stomach, crushed, absolutely ravished, barely conscious. Pallas says: "That man would frighten me too. Sometimes it must be hard."

Belle looks up, hair all over, with a sly smile and answers: "What would you know Pallas?"

Richard Bastion: We’re back, America. Here’s the Bastion Buddies salute. [trumpet plays] At ease. Today on the show, we’re going to talk about why America is number one. Okay, without further ado, let’s do what this show is all about and hit the phone lines. You are the people that make this show. All I do is make the money and spend it on facefuls of pharmaceuticals until I go deaf. Hello, caller!
Caller: I just wanted to call in and say that I absolutely love the show.
Richard Bastion: Well, I absolutely love that you think that, okay? Now, now you want to talk about what makes America number one, huh?
Caller: We have a completely incompetent buffoon for a leader. We drive outrageously large gas-guzzling Maibatsu Monstrosities.
Richard Bastion: I know. Isn’t—it’s fantastic, isn’t it? What we’ve been given from our forefathers—the freedom from thought. Y—that, for my money, is real freedom! Knowing you’re always right! That’s...real freedom! It’s like life is a party that’s never gonna end, and, and you’re not hosting that party, you’re there, so you can, you know, take a—take a dump on the coats, and you know, you can leave your beer bottle in the toilet if you want, it doesn’t matter, it’s not your house! Okay, we’re just here to have a good time. Now this is unless we make a serious mistake in the election! You know, think about it, you can’t expect someone with no backbone to police the world! And...that’s what these liberals don’t understand! Drinking is a sin. Laying is a sin. Fisting? You know, that’s a mortal sin! And the trannies...don’t even get me started on the trannies, it’s, it’s science run amok. It’s very confusing, okay? I’m looking at a woman, I’m talking to the woman, I see the woman’s penis...now I’m confused! I don’t know what’s going on! The government...i-i-is turning into a confused transgendered prostitute. I mean, it really is! They don’t know who to serve! You feel terrible afterward, you have this overwhelming feeling that everything in your life is horribly wrong. Yes, it feels good while you’re doing it. Yes, you’re making him-slash-her feel good. But still, it’s wrong.

Vladimir “Vlad” Glebov: You remember Ivan?
Niko Bellic: No.
Vladimir “Vlad” Glebov: [shows picture] This guy.
Niko Bellic: Oh, yes. You guys had a little kiss.
Vladimir “Vlad” Glebov: Very funny. What would you say if I told he was going to rob your cousin?
Niko Bellic: I’d say, what problem does he got with my cousin?
[phone rings]
Vladimir “Vlad” Glebov: Hold on. [answers phone] Hey. Hey, gorgeous, no. I can’t talk right now. What are you wearing? Listen, I’ll call you back. [to Niko] Sorry.
Niko Bellic: Who was that?
Vladimir “Vlad” Glebov: Never you mind.
Niko Bellic: Was it Ivan?
Vladimir “Vlad” Glebov: Oh, that’s funny. You know, for a damn yokel, you’re a very funny guy.
Niko Bellic: [laughing] Yes. And for an annoying dick, you’re really an annoying dick.
Vladimir “Vlad” Glebov: Well, it is a shame then that I am the guy with the powerful friends, and you are the little punk whose only friend is a fat weasel who drives a fucking cab!

Tom Goldberg: Hello, Niko. What’s that short for? Nikolai? I’m looking for a man who can get jobs done right. Nikolai, I like your resum?. You seem to be the sort of man who would go the extra distance, I just need to take another look, get myself reacquainted with your experience...So, you’re the sort of man who doesn’t wait to get told what to do? A guy who looks at the world, sees problems and tries to fix them?
Niko Bellic: Sure.
Tom Goldberg: My problem is that people don’t notice the decay in society. They leave the decay alone and soon it’s too late so you have to pull the whole tooth.
Niko Bellic: Yeah?
Tom Goldberg: I’m the guy who goes around shaking people. For people, read society, read City Hall. I shake them, and I say “Floss! Get rid of the rotting flesh stuck in your teeth. Prevent decay! Mouthwash, you hear me?” There’s this cop. Good cop, but he thinks he’s above the law. He’s not. You wanna know why? Because the law is clear. I’m gonna crush him into dust. No one is above my judgment! You understand me?
Niko Bellic: Okay.
Tom Goldberg: Here at G.L. and S., we’re pushing things to the limit. We’re on the front line, young man. A man I was recently with in this office, in this very room, was murdered. You gotta fight for what is just in this world.
Niko Bellic: You do.
Tom Goldberg: Anyway, gimme an example of some time where you’ve worked as part of a team.
Niko Bellic: I work alone.
Tom Goldberg: So, are you going to expand on that or are you just going to hang around like a chump? Damn these quotas. You end up with every dumb immigrant in the city coming in for interviews.

[Tread]

From
Il mio nome ? Nessuno (1973) (Italian) original title
My Name Is Nobody a.k.a. Lonesome Gun (English/USA)
Mein Name ist Nobody (German) funniest version


Nobody (Terrance Hill): There was this little baby bird that fell from it?s tree in the cold of snow. It starts peeping, ?Pa peep! Pa peep!? as it was damn near freezing.
Along comes this cow. She looks down at the little bird and feels sorry for it. She raises her tail and? ?splah!?
?She drops a steaming hot cow pie right on top of it.
The little bird starts again? ?Pa peep! Pa peep!? Because it?s hungry.
Along comes a mean ole Coyote? It reachs down easy into the cow pie and picks the little bird up. He raises the little bird higher and brushes the dirt off him real nice.
And then? ?Gulp!? Swallows the little bird down all in one bite!
My grandfather says there is a moral to the story, but you have to figure it out for yourself?


At the end of the movie Jack Beauregard (Henry Fonda) figures out the moral of the fable.
Jack Beauregard: Folks that throw dirt on you aren?t always trying to hurt you, and folks that pull you out of a jam aren?t always trying to help you. But the main point is: when you?re up to your nose in shit, keep your mouth shut.

[smc]

As I rode on the T (Boston's subway) today, on my way home, I heard a guy on his cellphone say "plate o' shrimp." He looked at me as he said it. I smiled. When he got off the phone, he turned to me, and simultaneously we said, "Repo Man."

Here's the quote from the 1984 film Repo Man.

Miller: A lot o' people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch o' unconnected incidents 'n things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice o' coincidence that lays on top o' everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.

Otto: You eat a lot of acid, Miller, back in the hippie days?

[Axelle drops her robe to pose nude for the art class]
Art Class Professor: Hands on your pencils, boys!

"Jonas Venture": I took the form of your dad because I figured it would be easier to accept. I didn’t want to stress you out—end of the world, life on other planets, blah blah blah.
Dr. Venture: Why...you SON OF A BITCH! Do you know what you just put me through?! What the fuck were you thinking?! What kind of fucked-up planet are you from, where you think showing up as my dead fucking father is supposed to make me feel any better?!
"Jonas Venture": Okay, take it easy—
Dr. Venture: You prick!
"Jonas Venture": Look, I just saved your entire planet—
Dr. Venture: Prick!
"Jonas Venture": Alright, fine, you wanna see? Here! [peels off his face, revealing his true self, which is shown offscreen, but horrifies everyone else] There! That would have been better? If I showed up like that out of nowhere? Look at you! You practically crapped your pants! Except him—he crapped his pants! [points to Ned]
Ned: Boom boom.

Abdul Amir: [enters] Yusuf!
Yusuf Amir: Oh, Poppa! What are you doing here? [sets down SMG, turns off music] Welcome! Welcome, Poppa. This is my business associate…er…Mr…uh…
Luis Lopez: Luis.
Yusuf Amir: Mr. Lewis. Y'Allah, he is the greatest technical advisor in the whole city. And this is his wife, Jaundice. [pulls Jonelle across the room]
Jonelle: Careful, motherfucker!
Yusuf Amir: Yes. And you know…we were just having a little creative meeting and things went a bit crazy, and, ah…I somehow lost my pants. But you know, Poppa, I tell you, you are looking…you’re looking very well, in fact.
Abdul Amir: I knew how disgraceful you were, but I didn’t realize quite how shameful you were.
Yusuf Amir: Things are not how they look.
Abdul Amir: Things do not look good, son.
Yusuf Amir: Don’t judge a book by its cover, Father. That’s what you taught me.
Abdul Amir: When a book is called Guns, Drugs, Hookers and No Pants, I think I don’t need to read it.
Yusuf Amir: Poppa, you know, these people…they mean nothing to me. In fact, they are just going. Go, get out! You, Mr. Lewis, take your wife, Mrs. Lewis. And may I say, madam, this is not a very appropriate way for a married woman to dress! [shoving them toward the door] I told them many times, Father, this is a disrespectful way to dress. Do they listen to me? Oh no, never! And you, by the way… [whispering to Luis] I will text you in about one minute about the tank, okay?
Luis Lopez: The NOOSE tank?
Yusuf Amir: Shhhh! Go and leave right now!

Announcer: WKTT. Because I love my country, and if you don’t, fuck you and your fat wife.

Playboy X: I was someone, y'know! I made it! I…changed the game!
Niko Bellic: You didn’t change the game. [shoots Playboy dead] The game changed you!

[Hedonistman]

,,, ' lunch is for wimps' ,,,Gordon Gecko to Bud Smith, Wall St 1,,,, says it all to me,,haha hehe

[sts451]

What ...... No Mustard ?

( The Stomach from MEATBALLS 1979 )

Audrey II: Feed me!
Seymour: Does it have to be human?
Audrey II: Feed me!
Seymour: Does it have to be mine?
Audrey II: Feeeed me!

Prostitute: I'm safe, huh. No HIV.
Danny Archer: Ja, ja. I've heard that one before.

Danny Archer: We thought we were fighting communism, but in the end, it was all about who gets what, you know? So one day, I decided, "Fuck it, I'm gonna get mine."

Obesandjo's Lieutenant: [gets a machete, moves towards Wilkus, laughing] Heh heh, I will teach you...
Wikus Van De Merwe: [grabs an alien weapon] YOU BLIKSEM!
Obesandjo's Lieutenant: Hey, hey, hey! [gets blown away by Wikus]
Obesandjo: Oh! Holy shit!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [blasts several more of Obesandjo's soldiers, then turns to Obesandjo] You tell them to fooking stand down!
[Obesandjo shouts in Xhosa to his soldiers, who back off]
Wikus Van De Merwe: Put the fooking weapons in the bag! [backing away with the weapons] Don't fooking look at me!

Dave Lizewski: How do I get a hold of you?
Hit Girl: [sarcastically] You just contact the mayor's office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky; it's in the shape of a giant cock.

[the Madman shoots at Navin but hits a display of oil cans]
Navin R. Johnson: He hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!

[nisa]

Punch-Drunk Love

Barry: I'm lookin' at your face and I just wanna smash it.I just wanna fuckin' smash it with a sledgehammer and squeeze it.You're so pretty.
Lena: I want to chew your face, and I want to scoop out your eyes and I want to eat them and chew them and suck on them.
Barry: OK. This is funny. This is nice.

Wez: [after a raider is killed] No! No more talk! We go in! We kill! Kill! We kill 'em! They kill us, we kill them! Kill 'em! Kill 'em! Kill! Kill!
The Humungus: [restraining Wez] Be still, my dog of war. I understand your pain. We've all lost someone we love. But we do it my way!
Wez: Losers?losers wait!
The Humungus: We do it my way. Fear is our ally. The gasoline will be ours. Then you shall have your revenge.
[Wez passes out]
The Humungus: Take him away.
[raiders drag Wez off; Humungus grabs intercom]
The Humungus: There has been too much violence?too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise?just walk away. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I'll spare your lives. Just walk away and we'll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.
[raiders start up their vehicles]
The Humungus: I await your answer. You have a full day to decide.
[everyone drives away]

Agent Smith: Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something? For more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Yes? No? Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose! And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love! You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson! You must know it by now! You can't win! It's pointless to keep fighting! Why, Mr. Anderson?! Why?! Why do you persist?!
Neo: Because I choose to.

Estella: [after sleeping with Finn] I do love the way you dance.

Paul: Go get the butter.

Iona: Does he have?strong lips?
Andie: How can you tell?
Iona: Did you feel it in your knees?
Andie: I felt it everywhere.
Iona: Strong lips. [laughs] I know I'm old enough to be his mother, but when the Duck laid that kiss on me last night, I swear my thighs just went up in flames! He must practice on melons or something.

[smc]

Hey, St. Araqiel, what is the point of these extended movie quotes if you don't bother to identify the film?

This is not your first time (not) doing so.

Oh. Didn't think it was really necessary. Not trying to be rude. I'll try to remember to do it from now on.

NCIS
Caitlin Todd: Speaking of way beyond hinky...
Anthony DiNozzo: Okay, Kate. I can take it.
Caitlin Todd: What was it like, tonguing a guy?
Anthony DiNozzo: [takes deep breath] Forget it. I can't take it.

Timothy McGee: Hey, you know what this reminds me of? Pacci's suspect that we were staking out last year.
Caitlin Todd: That's right! The beautiful pre-op transsexual who seduced Tony.
Anthony DiNozzo: She didn't seduce me. I was undercover.
Caitlin Todd: Yeah, well, didn't you stick your tongue down?
Anthony DiNozzo: I took one for the team, all right? Someone had to keep her occupied.
Timothy McGee: Don't you mean "him?"

[interrogating a ship's captain, Ziva plucks away his cigar]
Captain: [in Turkish, under breath] Bitch...
Ziva David: [in Turkish] How would you like this bitch to apply that cigar to your testicles?

Anthony DiNozzo: [as McGee stumbles while taking photos] Steady, Probie.
Timothy McGee: Tell that to my stomach.
Anthony DiNozzo: [leans down] Steady, Probie's stomach.

[smc]

Originally Posted by St. Araqiel

NCIS
Caitlin Todd: Speaking of way beyond hinky...
Anthony DiNozzo: Okay, Kate. I can take it.
Caitlin Todd: What was it like, tonguing a guy?
Anthony DiNozzo: [takes deep breath] Forget it. I can't take it.

Timothy McGee: Hey, you know what this reminds me of? Pacci's suspect that we were staking out last year.
Caitlin Todd: That's right! The beautiful pre-op transsexual who seduced Tony.
Anthony DiNozzo: She didn't seduce me. I was undercover.
Caitlin Todd: Yeah, well, didn't you stick your tongue down?
Anthony DiNozzo: I took one for the team, all right? Someone had to keep her occupied.
Timothy McGee: Don't you mean "him?"

[interrogating a ship's captain, Ziva plucks away his cigar]
Captain: [in Turkish, under breath] Bitch...
Ziva David: [in Turkish] How would you like this bitch to apply that cigar to your testicles?

Anthony DiNozzo: [as McGee stumbles while taking photos] Steady, Probie.
Timothy McGee: Tell that to my stomach.
Anthony DiNozzo: [leans down] Steady, Probie's stomach.

You do realize that NCIS is a television show, and not a movie, right?

Yeeees. Point taken.
Now that I think about it, my first post in this thread included video-game dialogue, too...

[joshuaty2010]

My favorite qoute is from the last movie of Ramboo. "Leave with nothing, or Die with something?"

Thomas Fowler: [V.O.] I can't say what made me fall in love with Vietnam?that a woman's voice can drug you; that everything is so intense. The colors, the taste, even the rain. Nothing like the filthy rain in London. They say whatever you're looking for, you will find here. They say you come to Vietnam and you understand a lot in a few minutes, but the rest has got to be lived. The smell: that's the first thing that hits you, promising everything in exchange for your soul. And the heat. Your shirt is straightaway a rag. You can hardly remember your name, or what you came to escape from. But at night, there's a breeze. The river is beautiful. You could be forgiven for thinking there was no war; that the gunshots were fireworks; that only pleasure matters. A pipe of opium, or the touch of a girl who might tell you she loves you. And then, something happens, as you knew it would. And nothing can ever be the same again. ? The Quiet American

General Lu Soong: Restaurant closed! Health violation! All go home now!
[restaurant patrons start running around, scared]
General Lu Soong: All finished! Everybody go now. Free dinner! Nobody pay! I do business with round-eyes all my life!
[breaks dishes]
General Lu Soong: For sure, no Corsican fuck me! ? Air America

Anthony "Swoff" Swofford: A story?a man fires a rifle for many years, and he goes to war. And afterward he turns the rifle in at the armory, and he believes he's finished with the rifle. But no matter what else he might do with his hands?love a woman, build a house, change his son's diaper?his hands remember the rifle. ? Jarhead

Paul Kersey: You believe in Jesus?
Stomper: Yes, I do.
Paul Kersey: Well, you're gonna meet him. ? Death Wish II

Prostitute: [to the cabbie] Too bad you're not on welfare. I'd give you a freebie. ? Magnum Force

[Rachel]

Gene Hackman- You just shot an unarmed man Clint Eastwood-- Well he should have armed himself..... from Unforgiven

[Pascal]

Originally Posted by Rachel

Gene Hackman- You just shot an unarmed man Clint Eastwood-- Well he should have armed himself..... from Unforgiven

And of course Clint Eastwood's

"I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

[Pascal]

Another great quote was by my hero GG Allin. He was this punk rock singer who used to shit on stage and threw his feces at the audience. When some interviewer asked him why he did that he answered very serious "I throw shit at the people because that's the way I see them, I don't like people very much!"

Roy Cohn: "AIDS." "Homosexual." "Gay." "Lesbian." You think these are names that tell you who a person sleeps with, but they don't tell you that.
Henry: No?
Roy Cohn: No. Like all labels, they tell you one thing, and one thing only: Where does an individual so identified fit into the food chain, the pecking order? Not ideology or sexual taste, but something much simpler: clout. Not who I fuck or who fucks me, but who will come to the phone when I call, who owes me favors. This is what a label refers to. Now, to someone who does not understand this, a homosexual is what I am because I have sex with men, but really, this is wrong. A homosexual is somebody who, in fifteen years of trying, cannot get a pissant anti-discrimination bill through the city council. A homosexual is somebody who knows nobody and who nobody knows. Who has zero clout. Does this sound like me, Henry? — Angels in America

Belize: [seeing that Roy appears dead] Is he...?
Ethel Rosenberg: Mm-hm.
Roy Cohn: [rising from his bed] No, I'm not! I fooled you, Ethel! I knew it was you the whole time! I can't believe you actually fell for that "Ma" stuff! I just wanted to see if I could finally, finally make Ethel Rosenberg sing! I win!
[starts to flatline again]
Roy Cohn: Oh...fuck. — Angels in America

Dr. Peter Venkman: Alice, I'm going to ask you a couple of standard questions, okay? Have you or any member of your family ever been diagnosed schizophrenic? Mentally incompetent?
Alice: My uncle thought he was Saint Jerome.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'd call that a big "yes." Are you habitually using drugs, stimulants, alcohol?
Alice: No!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?
Roger Delacourte: [concerned] What does that got to do with it?
Dr. Peter Venkman: [slowly turns his head to Roger] Back off, man. I'm a scientist. — Ghostbusters

Red: Where you think you're goin', Mr. Wiggles? Get back here! Feisty!
Dale Denton: Saul, help me! Help me! He's punching my bum! I'm done with this!
Red: No, you're not. No, you're not!
Dale Denton: Let's try words! Use words! — Pineapple Express

[RobbyPants]

Originally Posted by Indestructable2K4

I just finished watching Star Wars, Ep. 3, and for some reason the quote, "Luke, I am your father," came to mind...

I know this is two-and-a-half years old, but I have to mention: the original line is actually "No, I am your father". Most people remember it as "Luke" instead of "No", probably to give it context.


As for my favorite quote? I've always been fond of "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist." It's from several movies, but I'm thinking of The Usual Suspects in particular.

[Paul's doorbell is buzzing during the last minute of Liverpool v. Arsenal]
Paul Ashworth: [out a window, not really seeing who it is] Please, please, please, please, please just fucking fuck off! You have arrived during the worst sixty seconds of my life, and I really don't want to see you!
[the window slams shut; the visitor is revealed to be Sarah]
Paul Ashworth: [to Steve] I ask you, what sort of berk would do that? You'd just about forgive an alien visitor from the planet Zarg, but even then, you'd have...
[Paul realizes what he's done and runs to the door]
Steve: Where're you going? You're mad! You might miss something! ? Fever Pitch

[Logue is sitting on the coronation throne]
King George VI: Get up! Y-you can't sit there! GET UP!
Lionel Logue: Why not? It's a chair.
King George VI: T-that...that is Saint Edward's chair.
Lionel Logue: People have carved their names on it.
King George VI: L-listen to me...listen to me!
Lionel Logue: Why should I waste my time listening to you?
King George VI: Because I have a voice!
Lionel Logue: ...Yes, you do. ? The King's Speech

[last lines]
Dr. Strangelove: Sir! I have a plan!
[stands up from his wheelchair]
Dr. Strangelove: Mein F?hrer...I can walk! ? Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Two-Bit: Who you callin' bums, pal?
Randy: You! Look, Greaser, we got four more of us in the backseat.
[Two-Bit hands a broken pop bottle to Ponyboy and flips out his switchblade]
Two-Bit: Then pity the backseat. ? The Outsiders

[LeeIII]

Rise and rise again til lambs become lions

see how many of you know this one

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: What is this Mickey Mouse shit?! What in the name of Jesus H. Christ are you animals doing in my head?! Why is Private Pyle out of his bunk after lights-out?! Why is Private Pyle holding that weapon?! Why aren't you stomping Private Pyle's guts out?!
Joker: Sir, it is the Private's duty to inform the Senior Drill Instructor that Private Pyle has a full magazine and has locked and loaded, sir! ? Full Metal Jacket

[last lines]
Marines: [singing] M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. We play fair and we work hard and we're in harmony. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse. Forever let us hold our banner high. High! High! High! Boys and girls from far and near, you're as welcome as can be. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Who is marching coast to coast and far across the sea? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse. Forever let us hold his banner high. High! High! High! Come along and sing a song and join our family. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Hey there, hi there, ho there, you're as welcome as can be. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. ? Full Metal Jacket

V: Beneath this mask, there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask, there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof. ? V for Vendetta

Nelson: Hey, Twombles!
Twombly: What?
Nelson: C'mere. The Humvees ain't coming back, dude.
Twombly: What? Were we supposed to go to them?
Nelson: I thought they were supposed to come to us.
Twombly: I think we're supposed to go to them.
Nelson: Shit.
Twombly: Okay, let's go to the crash site.
Nelson: Okay. Just don't fire that thing so close to my head. I can barely hear as it is.
[they exchange fire with a group of Somali militiamen]
Twombly: Shit! Get down! [fires a long burst inches above Nelson's head]
Nelson: What did I just tell you?! I swear to God, you do that again?
Twombly: Shut up! [fires on the remaining Somalis]
Nelson: AAAAHHH! Aaahh! Uhhh...
Twombly: You okay? Nelson, you all right?
Nelson: WHAT?! ? Black Hawk Down

Paul Rusesabagina: I am glad that you have shot this footage and that the world will see it. It is the only way we have a chance that people might intervene.
Jack: Yeah, and if no one intervenes, is it still a good thing to show?
Paul Rusesabagina: How can they not intervene when they witness such atrocities?
Jack: I think if people see this footage they'll say, "Oh my God, that's horrible," and then go on eating their dinners. ? Hotel Rwanda

Gust Avrakotos: As long as the press sees sex and drugs behind the left hand, you can park a battle carrier behind the right hand and no one's gonna fucking notice. ? Charlie Wilson's War

[curiousguy221]

"and Saint Attilla raised the hand-grenade up on high saying, 'oh lord, bless this thy hand-grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits... in thy mercy'. and the lord did grin, and the people did feast on the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bags, and-"
"skip a bit brother"
"and the lord spake saying - 'first, shall thou take out the holy pin, then shall thou count to three. no more, no less. three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. four, thou shalt not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. five is right out. once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbeth thou thy holy hand-grenade of Antioch towards thine foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it'. Amen"

"all female officers will be required to wear... TINY MINISKIRTS!"

"Baldrick, believe me, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil if we can't replace this dictionary."

"i wish none of this had happened"
"so do all who live to see such times but that is not for them to decide. all you have to decide, is what to do in the time that is given to you"

[mellownella]

Peter Venkman: Alright... let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.