Is there a bias against those still in the closet?

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by PurpleDressCD

I'm going to have to say that I take the opposite opinion of the theory of male privilege. In Western countries I'd say that females usually have the upper hand.

So, let me get this right,
you want to present as a man,
get all the privilege that this brings
society standing,
60% more pay than a M2F Transsexual gets {if they can even get a job}
Acceptance, family, friends
pension scheme.
not undergo costly & painful surgurys,
meds for life,
And so on.

My point is male privilage over status or lack of, that a Ts person has
...not comparison with a Day-1 female
which is a totally different topic
outside this post
or indeed this site.

Interesting you tube vid, though.

[valentinetabitha]

Jodie, are you saying we all have to fit inside a predefined box of transsexuality, that it is impossible for someone to be happy dressing as a male and a female?

You are exactly the type of person I have a problem with. Just because I don't suffer through all of the hardships you do doesn't mean I should be outcast. I'm sorry I'm not as brave or willing to sacrifice half of my life for the other half. Silly me.

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by valentinetabitha

Jodie, are you saying we all have to fit inside a predefined box of transsexuality, that it is impossible for someone to be happy dressing as a male and a female?

You are exactly the type of person I have a problem with. Just because I don't suffer through all of the hardships you do doesn't mean I should be outcast. I'm sorry I'm not as brave or willing to sacrifice half of my life for the other half. Silly me.

No thats not what I'm saying
I answered your post

If you want the same interactions with people
that ts's who walk-the-walk have,
then walk the walk.

I had exactly the same choices that you have
exactly the same.
I chose what was best for me
and live with the consequences

I suggest you do as well.

[JodieTs]

No photo = A lack of honesty/integrity
That is often peoples perceptions on forums/chat rooms.
Not mine
After all, I'm interacting with you
{lucky you}


from your myspace profile:
Blurbs
About me:
I'm a married, bisexual, occasional crossdresser
http://www.myspace.com/tabithavalentine

How does your wife feel about you having sex with other men?
She does know, yes?

[no1000]

From his posts I do not think his wife knows.

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by no1000

From his posts I do not think his wife knows.

Smiles.

But on another point.
It's good form on a trans-forum,
to use the female pronoun, if the person represents themselves as female.
In valentinetabitha's case, "her"

[smc]

Originally Posted by JodieTs

Smiles.

But on another point.
It's good form on a trans-forum,
to use the female pronoun, if the person represents themselves as female.
In valentinetabitha's case, "her"

Excellent point, Jodie: "good form" and a sign of respect, which we expect to be shown to all members on this site.

[valentinetabitha]

Originally Posted by JodieTs

No photo = A lack of honesty/integrity
How does your wife feel about you having sex with other men?
She does know, yes?
[/COLOR]

She knows I'm bisexual, but is unaware of the crossdressing aspect. I have to handle this in steps because she isn't exactly the most open-minded person.

In fact a big reason why I asked my initial question is I found when I went to ask people who have been in my situation, and have since come out to their wives, for advice I found myself rejected or met with ignored friend requests.

I can see why those that are fully out can see me as half-assing it, but at the same time every person's situation is different. In my case, I don't want to live my entire life as a woman, but others do. Dressing as a woman, and the desire to perform sexual acts in the, traditionally, woman's role is only one part of my life, and it isn't even the dominant part. I don't feel like I should be compartmentalized or ostracized for feeling that way.

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by valentinetabitha

She knows I'm bisexual, but is unaware of the crossdressing aspect. I have to handle this in steps because she isn't exactly the most open-minded person.

Well she would be very pissed at you at the very least
In a large part for concealing this from her
as honesty is a large part of marriage.
You are not alone on this as almost all tv's conceal this HUGE aspect about themselves.
Thats why I have no wife / ex wife or children...I refused to meet society/family/partners expectations without full disclosure about me>>>>& how the hell do you disclose something about yourself that you don't really understand?

Now wherever you stand on the tg spectrum (& that can be fluid)
You will be like most people just trying to find the best way for you,
to keep the world in balance.

We are in very different places
so I would not be able nor experienced in stuff like yours
to offer any useful coping strategies
which is what you seek.

On the bi-tv/cd/wife thing....no answer for you on open forum
as this is far too deep with too many ramifications for you
But useful for you to chat with others who were in the same place as you.
PM sent.

Originally Posted by valentinetabitha

I can see why those that are fully out can see me as half-assing it, but at the same time every person's situation is different. In my case, I don't want to live my entire life as a woman, but others do. Dressing as a woman, and the desire to perform sexual acts in the, traditionally, woman's role is only one part of my life, and it isn't even the dominant part. I don't feel like I should be compartmentalized or ostracized for feeling that way.

In fact a big reason why I asked my initial question is I found when I went to ask people who have been in my situation, and have since come out to their wives, for advice I found myself rejected or met with ignored friend requests.

Well your wife & almost / everyone you know
don't hang out on tranny boards
& if they did:
1.they wouldn't be likely to out you, as it would out themselves
2.In a dress, wig, makeup they arn't gonna recognise you in the first place, Doh!

If your wife checks your computer to see which sites you visit, she already know your interest in tv cd ts tranny porn, anyway.
If you don't want to put up a pic, thats ok.
And others reactions are for a myriad of reasons.
The fact your question in these places is not fantasy/wank stuff
should tell those people
that your question is genuine.

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by PurpleDressCD

I agree that transsexuals go through a lot. I wasn't saying that they don't or that people who choose to stay the gender they were born don't have it a lot easier than those that do.

I was just saying that I wouldn't exactly call it male privilege. When females also enjoy the same privilege. I'd call it "non-transsexual privilege" if anything.

That really appeals
[the term, not the reality]
as its spot on the money.

Though a lot of the ts angst about society rejection
I project in some posts
is repeating what other ts's experience.

I actually feel empowered, by being able to be myself,
never been happier
kept my parents
My brother will never accept me as Misha,
which does my girlfriends head in >>>on the basis of:
"so when he looks at you, how can he see anything other than a beautiful woman?"
which is actually good
coz he only sees me as his sibling
and my trans has not impacted that. He is as close to me as ever
we still hang out go for Indians, chill with his family or just natter in his allotment.
In other words, all good,
Kept most of my pre trans friends...lost not through rejection but coz they couldn't handle it
& made a ton of newer friends....some of who are so close, && as special as can be.
No society rejection, positive in early transition days...
...to neutral now coz I appear to be just another Day-1 woman,
rather than an ex-bloke
...all good then

Still, a lot of trans talk about & undoubtedly experience a range of negativity
from society in general
& it seems a pity to let that pain go to waste...

I probably don't come out too well in this post,
but in my defence,
Darth Vader had a better theme tune to Luke Skywalker.
click here