Does my obsession come from control?

[merelypink]

yes most often when men are always in control(ceo's etc...) they secretly want to be dominated.... Its almost relaxing to them... So no you are perfectly normal..

[FMB]

Originally Posted by merelypink

yes most often when men are always in control(ceo's etc...) they secretly want to be dominated.... Its almost relaxing to them... So no you are perfectly normal..

Thanks for the reply. I'm not worried, more intrigued if you will.

Don't get me wrong if I found the right ts then I would as always be as kind as ever but with them I think I could have the best of both worlds.

[smc]

Originally Posted by merelypink

yes most often when men are always in control(ceo's etc...) they secretly want to be dominated.... Its almost relaxing to them... So no you are perfectly normal..

And you base this conclusion -- "most often" -- on WHAT?

[franalexes]

Your desire to be in control does not come from strength, but from weakness.

[smc]

Originally Posted by franalexes

Your desire to be in control does not come from strength, but from weakness.

Truer words were never spoken (er, written).

[FMB]

Originally Posted by smc

Truer words were never spoken (er, written).

Shockingly I complete disagree. My desire to be in control is based around the idea that if I am in control then women enjoy the experience more. If I found a woman who got more enjoyment from me not being in control then within reason I'd gladly hand over the reigns as it were but in my experience there are not many women like that.

The idea of being in control being a weakness is completely illogical to me no matter how profound one might make it sound.

[smc]

Originally Posted by FMB

Shockingly I complete disagree. My desire to be in control is based around the idea that if I am in control then women enjoy the experience more. If I found a woman who got more enjoyment from me not being in control then within reason I'd gladly hand over the reigns as it were but in my experience there are not many women like that.

The idea of being in control being a weakness is completely illogical to me no matter how profound one might make it sound.

And in this scenario, who decides if "women enjoy the experience more"? You, a priori?

The idea that all powerful men (or women) secretly want to be dominated seems to be a myth perpetuated by popular culture. I’m sure some do. Others don’t. It makes a great storyline however in pornography. And topic of conversation among amateur psychologists.

Fran is correct, I believe, when she says that those who must always be “in control” do so from a point of weakness. In my experience, those types of individuals make poor leaders and usually do not last in positions of authority. Power is an interesting thing to study. My short take on “power” is: If you have to explain to others that you have it--you haven’t got it.

I would seriously question why someone would always feel the need to be “in control” during something as pleasurable as sex anyway. Speaking again entirely for myself, I have found that the best sex is when there is shared control and my partner and I communicate to each other what we like.