Baseball

[smc]

Originally Posted by shadows

Holmes is probably still trying to find his bearings after the Moriarty incident.

What in the world are you talking about, Dr. Watson?!

Moriarty played only one season in the majors, for the Orioles. I don't think Holmes ever came into contact with him.

[shadows]

Originally Posted by smc

What in the world are you talking about, Dr. Watson?!

Moriarty played only one season in the majors, for the Orioles. I don't think Holmes ever came into contact with him.

Moriarty was the dastardly fellow that sold the steroids to Big Mac(who thought that it was just a flu shot) and other MLB players and that is why he got punted from the Orioles. Plus the fact that he was caught "doing the deed" with the costume of the Oriole's mascot(I'm not even sure if there was anybody in the costume at the time) didn't help matters any.

[smc]

Originally Posted by shadows

Moriarty was the dastardly fellow that sold the steroids to Big Mac(who thought that it was just a flu shot) and other MLB players and that is why he got punted from the Orioles. Plus the fact that he was caught "doing the deed" with the costume of the Oriole's mascot(I'm not even sure if there was anybody in the costume at the time) didn't help matters any.

Oh, that Moriarty. At least he wasn't caught with that creepy Phillies Fanatic costume, which looks like the bastard love-child of ALF from the old TV show and Jose Canseco's shrunken testicles.

Excuse me, now I have to go get that image out of my head ...

[shadows]

Originally Posted by smc

Excuse me, now I have to go get that image out of my head ...

Or create that costume for yourself.

[smc]

Soon this thread will be hopping the way the hockey thread hops. Spring training games are in full bloom and are marching towards Opening Day. It is a well-known fact that baseball season means a better world for all.

It also brings out the craziness in people. Take my friend Pat, another Boston fan who nevertheless is buying into the hysteria here in Red Sox Nation that maybe our Old Towne Team doesn't have enough offense after losing Jason Bay and making no big-bat acquisitions in the off-season. Pat, who hates the Yankees as much as the next guy in these parts, told me the other day that there is no way the Red Sox will come in first in the the AL East division. Being a serious baseball fan, I replied that it is always a crap shoot in the strongest division in baseball, that the Yankees also have some offensive problems (mainly in the form of old men), but that perhaps it will be a wild-card year for our team.

Pat's response was to become quite agitated, quietly scream about the loss of Jason Bay, and "correct" me: "No, he said. You don't understand. The Yankees are going to win the division hands down. There's no question."

I offered Pat a friendly bet: I would pick the Red Sox and he would pick the Yankees (despite that a bet would mean he would root against his favorite team), and the loser would pick up the full tab in October at our favorite local oyster bar.

"No!" Pat insisted. "This is serious, and we should have a real bet. $50 says the Yankees win the division by 6 games or more!"

My instinct was to phone Pat's doctor. Clearly, he was having some sort of mental breakdown. But I made the bet. I mean, really, 6 games!

I tell this to all of you baseball fan friends here on the board only to remind you of the madness that will soon spread in those few cities where baseball is treated with religious, or near-religious fervor. Boston, of course, is the center of the baseball universe, but you know which few other places I mean: Philadelphia and St. Louis, primarily, and parts of Chicago (where genuine White Sox fans, and the 1/3 or so of Cubs fans who aren't just on some kind of bandwagon) reside.

[ila]

Originally Posted by smc

Soon this thread will be hopping the way the hockey thread hops. Spring training games are in full bloom and are marching towards Opening Day. It is a well-known fact that baseball season means a better world for all.

It also brings out the craziness in people. Take my friend Pat, another Boston fan who nevertheless is buying into the hysteria here in Red Sox Nation that maybe our Old Towne Team doesn't have enough offense after losing Jason Bay and making no big-bat acquisitions in the off-season. Pat, who hates the Yankees as much as the next guy in these parts, told me the other day that there is no way the Red Sox will come in first in the the AL East division. Being a serious baseball fan, I replied that it is always a crap shoot in the strongest division in baseball, that the Yankees also have some offensive problems (mainly in the form of old men), but that perhaps it will be a wild-card year for our team.

Pat's response was to become quite agitated, quietly scream about the loss of Jason Bay, and "correct" me: "No, he said. You don't understand. The Yankees are going to win the division hands down. There's no question."

I offered Pat a friendly bet: I would pick the Red Sox and he would pick the Yankees (despite that a bet would mean he would root against his favorite team), and the loser would pick up the full tab in October at our favorite local oyster bar.

"No!" Pat insisted. "This is serious, and we should have a real bet. $50 says the Yankees win the division by 6 games or more!"

My instinct was to phone Pat's doctor. Clearly, he was having some sort of mental breakdown. But I made the bet. I mean, really, 6 games!

I tell this to all of you baseball fan friends here on the board only to remind you of the madness that will soon spread in those few cities where baseball is treated with religious, or near-religious fervor. Boston, of course, is the center of the baseball universe, but you know which few other places I mean: Philadelphia and St. Louis, primarily, and parts of Chicago (where genuine White Sox fans, and the 1/3 or so of Cubs fans who aren't just on some kind of bandwagon) reside.

I think that you have a sure win, smc. Six games is clearly delusional thinking. The Yankees have deep pockets, but they're not deep enough to buy a division win by six games. Heck, the Yankees would have to buy every team in the AL and then fire all the players and coaches and still it is doubtful that they would win the division. (I confess. I don't like the Yankees, but only because they think they that if they spend enough on players that they can win a World Series; and that is the only reason that I don't like the Yankees).

[smc]

Originally Posted by ila

I think that you have a sure win, smc. Six games is clearly delusional thinking.

Thanks, ila.

I forgot to mention in my earlier post my plan as the season unfolds: I'm going to try to press the bet. I haven't decided yet which will work best -- do it when the Yankees are ahead (if they are), or when the Red Sox are ahead. My goal is to milk Pat's pockets for everything, and then (of course) because he is one of my best friends, give every cent back to him except for the tab at the oyster bar.

Oh, and make him wear a special t-shirt that I'm going to have made for him that he can wear to some local sports bar. It's going to say "Bitch for the Steinbrenners" on it.