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Old 12-11-2009
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I really like those videos. I really have a thing for masculine white men. There are a lot of asian girls like me that prefer to be with a white man. I find them to be very attractive, and I love the fact that most white men are pretty well hung and have a nice hairy chest. Age does not really matter to me as long as he is in average to good shape, I will have sex with him. I have even been with sime men that have been well into their fifties that have great rock hard bocies. To me that is sooooooo hot. For me, it's better to be with an older guy that is in good shape than to be with a younger guy that it not in good shape.
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Old 12-26-2009
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I'm jealous of how good some of the girls look. I'm relieved I'm not doing that to fund my transition though.
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Old 12-29-2009
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I do get jealous but the anger I feel is anger at myself because the men in the videos are doing what I want to do.

I am not doing what I want to do.

That's my fault.

I did see one video of "Ladyboy Moo", who to me is a goddess, in which she was not treated particularly well. The young men in the video were off-hand with her and did not seem to respect her. That made me angry. Also, I felt sad upon hearing that Moo is a fiend for yabbah. On the other hand, it stokes my knight-in-shining-armour fantasies.

Really, though, these young ladies have made their own choices. They've made a huge choice with regard to their gender identity. Who they have sex with on camera is a minor detail.

Sexual jealousy is natural but for us it should be fleeting. It's not healthy to get worked up about things one cannot change.
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Old 06-15-2010
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Lucky bastards they are.
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