I love you because you're my girl

[Be_my_nude]

Originally Posted by Mirabeau915

Earlier this morning I responded on one of your other posts on the subject, I did not see this one.

I am sorry, but I think I agree with the prevailing wind here, your BF has issues and and not sure it if has anything to do with shemales precisely. By which I mean that if it wasn't shemales, it would be something else.

When you say that "seems like the only real time he ever tells me is when I am about to walk out the door." I presume you mean "I love you" or somesuch. That would be very troubling I think, and possibly borderline abusive to be honest with you (on an emotional level). It doesn't give me the warm feely, and I am involved with a dedicated commitment-phobe who doesn't want to do more than half of the things I'd like to in bed. That aint good.

But this is all armchair psychology, and I'm not going to pry. Only you can know if there is a serious problem (like he just wants you to not be alone as one person suggested) or not. But sometimes we will try to convince ourselves of something we want, even when the facts are in front of us. Thus, I'd suggest some sort of counselling frankly, and normally I am not a fan of that sort of thing.

One thing I would say: You don't want to be married to someone that feels the way about you some of us have opined here, you deserve to be loved as more than a fuck buddy or a shield.

Oh dear. So many of us long for another to want us as much as we want them. But tragically, the degree of need is not always equal. This is where mutual lust and that hazy happiness of falling in love comes in. It enables us to bond with immense strength, and to get us through so many of the bad patches in life. But a one-sided bonding where the strength of feeling and the starting points are not the same, will cause serious longer-term problems.
Yes we make ourselves believe what we most need and want, and this carries us forward against many doubts, but the reality may come with stunning force from the other person, and the dreams may be shattered.

Follow your instincts, feel his feelings, and if you can't do that surely, then back off and give the ' relationship ' a chance to founder. If it doesn't, then LUCKY YOU. If it does, then I'm sure you've got enough Love in you to move on to someone who really does care.

Reach out with your feelings. There is no other way.

Big and Love

[WudLuv2try]

"...Last night my BF asked me why I love him. I told him because he takes care of home, he's smart, funny, good looking, he's a wonderful father to his kid and my daughter..."

First of all, if a guy actually asks a girl why she loves him, well, I think he's pretty OK. Not many guys ask that.

Second, your response to his 'Why do you love me?' question wasn't exactly fantastic either.

To me, personally,

"I love you coz you're my girl and you're the mother of my child."

Sound MUCH better than

"I love you coz you can take care of the house and smart and funny and handsome..."

Oh, by the way, I'm a dude.

[jjayman3]

May be he is just very analytical. My wife has asked me the same question and I answered in the same fashion. I my mind I thought I was being passionate. I have very few things that I'm passionate about and take deep personal interest in. Those few things I do I consider as my own. So when I told my wife she is my girl. I was giving her a compliment in my mind, as in she is one of the few things I care about. Not that she was my posesion.

Anyways, you know your man. What are your thoughts? You knew him when the relationship was new. Has his answers changed? They might not be the most romantic but do they make sense for him?

Also, would you rather have a "romantic" guy give you the best answer and be full of shit or your man?

[johndowe]

Hi there.

First thing you HAVE to consider: Men & Women are VERY different emotionally, and see things from a very different perspective, and another thing men are less communicative and expressive than women, women remember dates of things in their lives, men don't, that's why we sometimes forget birthdays or aniversaries, not because we don't care, but simply because we see time and dates differently.

When he said: "I love you because you're my girl" he didn't say it like you understand it, he said it like I understand it, he loves you because you accepted him as he was, you stuck by him and you had a child with him and he stuck by you then also, it wasn't the ansewer you expected, but it was still a good ansewer, about the insurance thing, he wanted to mary you so you would have medical coverage, because he cares for you and your health and your child's health, isn't that love, even if it isn't verbalised properly?

I remember my first live-in g/f we were living togather for about a year and she comes out with "you take me for granted", my first tought was: "Yes and i wouldn't have it any other way" but if i'd said that, she would have gone balistic, only because she wouldn't have understood the ansewer.

What i meant by that was that, we were comfortable togather, at least i was, and i KNEW i could count on her and she could count on me, i respected her and she me, to me that was the best ansewer i could give but because i knew she wouldn't understand it as i meant, i enumerated alot of the things that she did for me and us as a couple instead, to me it was an inferior ansewer, but to her it was a better ansewer, so as i said, men and women are VERY different emotionally.

Also, when men love someone they accept it and live with it as such, but when women love someone they don't do it wholehartedly as men, they need to be told, and told often, as if their love would dis-appear if she wasn't told, and it does from my perspective anyway, so did she realy love him/me in the first place? from my perspective, when i love a woman i tell her once in a while, but not every day, if she needs to hear it every day so she would "stay" in love with me she should buy a tape recorder and record it, and not have mis-guided ideas that if i don't say it i don't feel it, all while i don't hear her saying it to me every day either.

Another thing, i have seen this often; a couple break up after living togather a few years she sais he doesn't love her, but when she leaves he is devastated; proof that he didn't love her? And she goes on with her life as if nothing happened; proof that she loved him?


JohnDowe.

[ila]

This thread is two years old and the OP hasn't been on the site in more than a year. All this advice is fine, but the OP hasn't been around to read it.

[Be_my_nude]

Originally Posted by ila

This thread is two years old and the OP hasn't been on the site in more than a year. All this advice is fine, but the OP hasn't been around to read it.

I'm confused too. How are we to know just how cobwebbed a post is and how long the thread has been stale ?

Your advice on this would be of value to those not in the know. Nobody likes to waste emotion and time on addressing an empty seat.

Thanks

[ila]

Originally Posted by Be_my_nude

I'm confused too. How are we to know just how cobwebbed a post is and how long the thread has been stale ?

Your advice on this would be of value to those not in the know. Nobody likes to waste emotion and time on addressing an empty seat.

Thanks

The date a post was made can be found in the top left corner, in the dark green border, of each post.

It's possible to find out when a member last visited by checking that member's Public Profile. In any post, by that member, left click on the member's name. A list will drop down and then left click on Public Profile. The Public Profile dialogue box will open. The date or time of the member's last activity is shown in the top right of this box.

[shadows]

Originally Posted by Be_my_nude

I'm confused too. How are we to know just how cobwebbed a post is and how long the thread has been stale ?

Your advice on this would be of value to those not in the know. Nobody likes to waste emotion and time on addressing an empty seat.

Thanks

The date can be seen in the top left corner of each post. Newer ones will go by hour, then by day, then by week, and so on. I am not sure how old a post has to be before it will say the actual date instead(over a month, perhaps?). I hope that helps.

As far as knowing the last time a particular Member visited, you can visit their Profile and it will say it there.

ETA: It looks like Ila beat me to it.

[johndowe]

Originally Posted by ila

This thread is two years old and the OP hasn't been on the site in more than a year. All this advice is fine, but the OP hasn't been around to read it.

Hi there.

I noticed that after i posted...


JohnDowe.