Why
In my case, I didn't discover T-girls or Shemales until after I was married, over 16 years ago, and part of me often wonders what life would have been like if I had, even though I really haven't been getting into this "lifestyle" and going on sites like this very heavily until recently. Now, as I see my marriage slowly (and quickly) coming to an end, for many reasons, not the least of which is my wife's unacknowledged and untreated depression, I do have to admit that I am intrigued by the possibilities. However, and call me a coward if you will, although I am still relatively young (41), I don't think I will be acting on my curiousity anytime soon, despite my pending bachelorhood. Why? Several reasons. First, basic geography...I live in central Wisconsin and have ties to this area that prevent my easy relocation to an area with better access to T-girls. I am too happy in my profession and ties in this area and have been through enough moves to want to move again and live anywhere else at this time. Second, basic society and family pressures in this area also prevent me from succumbing to my desire to investigate more fully this type of lifestyle...if the girl were easily passable and could live with my not revealing the truth to friends and family, then I would be open to such a relationship and commitment. Finally, and most importantly, I have very young school age twins who mean the absolute world to me and I would do ANYTHING for,and given their age and vulnerability, this is one impulse I cannot act on at this time. My pending divorce is going to screw them up more than enough (and for those of you who may wonder why I don't "tough it out" for the kids, I am an attorney with much experience dealing with couples, and most importantly children who go through divorce. I see my deteriorating relationship with my wife affecting my girls more and more each day and my wife refuses any type of in depth counseling, marital or otherwise. According to the counselor I did manage to get her to see for a few sessions, and who I've talked to one on one, my girls need a "safe haven" from dealing with my wife's constantly changing moods and behavior, and I need to provide that to them, which I can't easily do now. And, most selfishly, I know that at this point, I would be happier unmarried with kids, than married.)...sorry for the digression.
Anyway, with current societal attitudes, especially in this area of the country, I will not put my girls through dealing with dad and his "alternative" lifestyle, at least at this point in their lives. Maybe when they're older, (much older, probably) and things have settled down from the divorce and all that will bring, maybe I'll look into it, but for now, I just can't. And given how long I've been "dealing" with these impulses and not acting on them and no one is the wiser, I think I will be okay not doing so for the foreseeable future. My twins complete me in a way I didn't know I needed until they were born, and mean much more to me, at this point, than any other long term relationship, married or otherwise. So, I can and will be a bachelor to make sure they're happy.
Wow, that was certainly more than I expected to share tonight, but so be it. However, this was an interesting and unique thread and for some reason, I felt compelled to answer the question, and things just kind of snowballed.
Thanks to all for "listening" to my ramblings!
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10-18-2009
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