funny joke!

[randolph]

Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods.

Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.

Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.

"MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND...."

Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.

So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy...."

At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story.

He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, "Then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

[Jenae LaTorque]

Funny joke there, Randolph! Been a few real situations around here like that, and you know how the story gets around in small towns. lol

[randolph]

A successful litigation lawyer parked his brand-new Llamborghini in front of his office to show his colleagues. As he was getting out, a passing truck tore off the door! He grabbed his cellphone, dialed 911, and a cop was there in 3 minutes. When the cop arrived to ask questions, he couldn't get a word in as the lawyer was yelling wildly.

"I just picked up this Llamborghini an hour ago! No matter how good a repair job, the car will never be the same!"

When the legal beagle finally ran out of steam, the cop shook his head. "Man, you lawyers are materialistic bozos!", he said, "you're so focused on your car you didn't notice anything else?"

The lawyer jumped all around the car, frantically checking it."What?! There's even more damage to the car?! Where?! Where?!", he yelled.

The officer replied, "Notice anything missing?"

"What?! What?! Robbery too?!"

'Your left arm!"

"OH, NO!" screamed the lawyer, "Where's my Rolex?!"

At Indiana University, there were four students taking Organic Chemistry. They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident with the finals approaching that the weekend before, they decided to drive to Indianapolis and party with some friends there.

They had a great time. However, after all the hard partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Bloomington until early Monday morning - the morning of their final exam! Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the exam and explain to him why they missed it.

They explained that they had gone to Indianapolis to do some research at the library over the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they only just arrived now!

The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up their final exam the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied hard that night - all night - and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them.

He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, (which was out of 100 points) and told them to begin. The first problem was worth five points. It was something simple. Cool, they all thought in their separate rooms, "this is going to be easy."

Each finished the problem and then turned the page. Question 2 (for 95 points): Which tire?

[Jenae LaTorque]

My uncle used to go to a deer hunting camp every fall over in East Texas. The guys would usually pair up and go out for the day. One evening Uncle Emory came in alone with a nice buck across his shoulders. While admiring the buck, one of the other hunters asked "Where's Cletus?" which was the fella who had went out with Emory.

"Oh, Cletus done had a heart attack and is laying up there dead as a doornail along the trail about 3 miles back" replied my Uncle.

"What!! You mean you left him there?" asked the man all excited.

"Well, it was kinda of a close call,"" replied Uncle Emory, "but I figured nobody would bother to steal his carcass."

[Jenae LaTorque]

Legal terminology

A big city corporate lawyer runs a stop sign in a small town in Tennessee, and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.

He thinks that he is smarter than this hick town deputy because he is a lawyer and is certain that he has a better education. He decides to prove This to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense.

Deputy says, "License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What for?"

Deputy says, "Y'all didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Deputy says, "The difference is, y'all have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Deputy says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says, "Do y'all want me to stop or just slow down?"

[randolph]

When a man marries, he gets sixteen wives-four richer, four poorer, four better, four worse.

Alert! Microsoft computer program continues its reign of error.