funny joke!

While not a "joke" per se, I thought many here would get a laugh or two out of this text entitled "Plain Facts for Old and Young" by John Harvey Kellogg, MD. Yes, that is the "Kellogg" of "Kellogg's Cereal." It was written in 1881 and while we may find it amusing today--people back then, sadly, took its advice quite seriously.

I was browsing through it and found sections on "Electricity" and "Sounding." So Kellogg was into "electrical play"! Who knew! I'll bet you won't think about "Corn Flakes" the same way ever again!

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/19924...-h/19924-h.htm

[johndowe]

Hi there.

What are the 3 most popular GAY ISLAMIC organisations?


Alkeida, Hesbola & the Talliban. (Not sure about the spelling)


I wrote it as a JOKE, but i have never seen any of the leaders with a woman, they are alone in the desert for months and months without women, the ISLAMIC RELIGION says that anything not hetero sexual is evil and sick, so they hate themselves, and transpose that hate to all others and voila terrorists that want to save the world from sence, intelligence and tolerance, also when suicide bombers attack they usually kill a few of the ones they want to kill, but they also kill a lot of their own people, and i noticed that there are almost always a few women, but never children, so i believe that they also hate women, and do their best to also kill women, but no kids when they blow themselves up.

I cannot say for sure that they are gay, but it does explain pretty much everything, additionally, since the begining of terrorism, it (terrorism) has never accomplish any of their goals ever, the only thing that it does is kill people, a few of their enemies and a lot of their own people, NOTHING ELSE.

REMEMBER 9/11?


JohnDowe.

[The Conquistador]

I remember reading a study somewhere that said that men who masturbate more often have healthier sperm because the sperm spends alot less time in the body and doesn't degrade as much compared to people who store up their loads.

[The Conquistador]

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says, "Ok, old fellow, time to retire."

The old rooster says, "You can't handle all these chickens . . . look at what it did to me!" The young rooster replies, "Now, don't give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike."

The old rooster says, "Aw, c'mon . . . just let me have the two old hens over in the corner. I won't bother you."

The young rooster says, "Scram! Beat it! You're washed up! I'm taking over!" the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, "I'll tell you what, young fellow, I'll have a race around the farmhouse with you. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop."

The young rooster says, "You know I'm going to beat you, old man, so just to be fair, I'm even going to give you a head start."

They line up in back of the farm house, get a chicken to cluck "Go!" and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farm house and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what's going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM!, he blows the young rooster to bits. He sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit, third gay rooster I bought this week!"

[johndowe]

Hi there.

Why did the banker always brought his dates into the vault?


He wanted to practice safe sex.

JohnDowe.

[Jenae LaTorque]

My old Uncle Emory, who lives down in East Texas, has a nice little grapefruit farm near a collage. One day he heard a lot of giggling coming from the pond he has over by one of his orchards. He grabbed a bucket and headed over there. When he got over near there, he discovered a group of young ladies skinny-dipping in his pond. Upon seeing him, they all swam to the far end and remained mostly submerged. My uncle moseyed over to the pond and sat his bucket down and just stood there with a look of surprise.

One called out to him, "We are not coming out till you leave!"

He replied, "Oh. I am just an old fart, and not interested in that sort of thing!"

He continued, "........I am just here to feed the alligators."

That's my Uncle Em for ya.

If you are not a "Boilermaker," simply change the name to your "favorite" alma mater! Enjoy!

Q: Do you know why the Purdue University football team should change its name to the "Possums"?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What do you call a Purdue player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!

Q: How many Purdue students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

Two Purdue University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking his penis like dogs do.
The first Purdue fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."
The second Purdue fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."
The first Purdue fan asks, "Why not?"
The second Purdue fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Purdue Boilermakers?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Purdue joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Purdue grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Purdue grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Purdue grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Purdue University library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q. What did the Purdue graduate say his first day on the job?
A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"